A Life of Deception
by Orquidea Rosada
Summary: What's a Jellicle Cat? Even the Jellicles don't quite know. They call themselves Jellicle cats, but no one knows what a true Jellicle is. And they never realized one had walked among them until it's too late...[Finished 08.05.06]
1. Always a Smile

Chapter 1 – Always a Smile 

Demeter was absolutely terrified when Macavity grabbed her arms and dragged her away from the others. She spent her life acting, but she never had to act when Macavity was around. As far as the rest of her current tribe knew, she had known Macavity in her past, but was always reluctant to talk about him. He had a bad reputation as it was, and she never had to fill in the gaps of their relationship together. The others saw her fear at the thought of him being nearby, and the rumors were enough to satisfy their curiousity and not pry.

They figured he did something to her. But the truth was worse. She did something to him. She damaged his pride. And as she was being dragged away, she knew she was going to pay for it.

Munkustrap stepped in, along with the other Jellicle protector, Alonzo. The latter took her away to a safe place as her mate fought with the ginger tom. "You'll be okay here," Alonzo said. For a moment, Demeter thought how different things would have been if she had just gotten Alonzo to be her prospective mate. Things would have been less complicated. But those thoughts were torn away as he raced out to help the fallen tom. Demeter cringed as she watched her mate thrown violently to the ground.

"You okay?" Demeter looked behind her to see Bombalurina crawling up to her, looking out momentarily to the melee. Demeter nodded to her sister. "This isn't good," she continued in a whisper. "He knows where we are now. If he tells these so called 'Jellicles', we're done for."

"Macavity isn't like that," Demeter reminded her sister softly. "He wouldn't humiliate himself in front of another cat. He wouldn't admit he was so easily conned. After all, he _is_ the Napoleon of Crime." She had hoped this would be enough to stall her sister a while longer.

"Either way," Bombalurina whispered urgently. "We have to wrap up all our business here and leave as soon as possible."

"But--!"

"No," Bombalurina said harshly. "You've been putting this off again and again. We're going to be found out, now that Macavity knows where we are." Demeter looked at Bombalurina with pleading eyes, but the red queen dutifully ignored them. "One week. And we're gone. Now go out there…you're mate needs attention."

She was right. There was a light shining around the junkyard. She could barely see Munkustrap getting up. He was limping from his injuries, but ignoring them in order to look for her.

'If only he wasn't such a sweetheart,' she reasoned to herself, 'this wouldn't hurt so much…'

They raced up to each other, and she licked his wounds. They didn't say anything to one another. He must have thought she was worried, as he purred gently so only she could hear. He was trying to tell her he was okay. But while she _was_ concerned for him, that wasn't why she felt the need to fuss over him. No…she was being eaten away by terrible guilt.

"We have to find Old Deuteronomy…" All the cats chorused. Demeter's attention was brought back to the scene before them, everyone confused, everyone frightened at the loss of their leader. When the Rum Tum Tugger came forward with a solution, Demeter had to pretend like her troubles were gone, and put on a smile.

Always playing the part. Always smiling on cue. She wasn't the best actress, but others were easily duped by her deception. They always were.


	2. In the Beginning

_A/N: Please excuse the fact that I use both Heaven and Heaviside. The Heaviside is the cat's version of Heaven, so I use both terms. I hope that won't be too odd. The story is odd enough as it is. Oh, and I forgot to do this in the first chapter..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Cats. I'm only borrowing their story to help make my own. And hopefully, I'll do them justice._

* * *

Chapter 2 – In the beginning 

Demeter watched as Munkustrap slept soundly in the corner of their den. He had been injured that night because of her. Though he put on a brave face for the rest of the tribe, alone in their den, he had no choice but to show her how injured he was. His brave facade had deteriorated as he crumpled into a ball in the corner, trying not to whimper in front of his mate. She held back her tears as she tried to calm him down. She could feel his heart racing as she licked his wounds.

After a while of this, he tried to shake her off. "I'll be fine."

"You always say that," she reminded him.

"I'm just…tired. Injuries hurt more when you're tired. I'll be fine. I think--" He grunted as her tried to get up, looking like he was about to be sick. When he was thrown by Macavity, it knocked the wind out of him, and he had complained about his back not feeling quite right. Now the pain was worsening. He couldn't talk anymore, and Demeter immediately made him lay down and rest.

"If you don't care for yourself, I guess I'll have to do it for you. At least this time."

It took him a while to steady his breathing and find a comfortable position to lay in, that didn't, as he put it, feel like there was a snake constricting his lungs to breath. After he had finally found a comfortable position, he smiled to Demeter. "What would I do without you?"

Demeter smiled sadly back at him. "You're life would be far less complicated. And you wouldn't get hurt." But he wasn't paying attention. He was drifting to sleep. Demeter kissed him on the forehead, before leaving the den, she was greeted by the rising sun with a blinding light, as if it had foreseen what she would do to him, and readily punished her for her actions yet to come. 'It's not my fault,' she thought to herself. 'To have caused so much trouble to so many cats…'

_It all began when she was a young kitten. Her tribe didn't understand why she and her sister were developing so slowly. Their mother assured them they weren't sick. Then she joked about them being Jellicle Cats…"Isn't that what they did?" But she was hardly as calm as she pretended she was in front of the other cats in her tribe. She gathered her two kittens that night and left._

_As they walked through the streets, on that cold night, Demeter couldn't help but wonder why they were leaving their home for the frosty night air. "I don't understand…"_

"_I know you don't, my love," their mother sighed, never stopping her quick stride. The kittens were struggling to keep up with her. "And I hope you never have to. Cats are afraid of what they don't understand. We need a tribe's protection rather than stay on the street, but there are times we need to protect ourselves from a tribe. They can turn on you if they know what you are."_

"_But they're our friends," little Bombalurina said, far wiser and much more articulate than a kitten her supposed age should have been. She didn't realize their level of maturity had raised eyebrows and far more questions. "What harm could they do?"_

"_Fear is a very powerful emotion, my loves," their mother explained, stopping momentarily. "Those who claim to love us one moment will turn on us when they find out we've been harboring a secret that we are not like them." And she showed them her scars to prove it._

Demeter paced outside of their shared den. Munkustrap could barely walk the next night, and she had to call the resident healer, much to his protest. To everyone else, it seemed like she was just being overly concerned for her mate. Luckily, so much could be explained away by her actions with her love for the tribe protector. She didn't have to ever go into explanation about why she reacted a certain way. Other's comforted her, told her he would be okay, and reminded her how tough that silver tabby was.

'Against physical pains, yes,' she thought to herself. 'But even the strongest warrior can be destroyed by a broken heart.' The primary thought on her mind was how he was going to take her leaving or simply how he would take finding out the truth. Which one would hurt less? And who would it hurt more? She debated on whether she should tell him the secret she had been keeping from other cats since the night they left their first tribe. She had never told anyone.

But her sister had once. And that experience was enough to make her reconsider telling this tom she trusted with her life about her.

_It was after their mother had left them. She thought that once the kittens reached maturity, they should split up and travel on their own. It would be easier to slip into nonexistence with only one cat to consider. But the sisters could not leave one another; they needed each other. So instead, Bombalurina had devised a plan for them, taking example from what their mother had done. _

"_I think I figured out why our first tribe didn't take to us," Bombalurina said as they sat in an alleyway, eating some fish that had been thrown out from a restaurant. She spoke of the first tribe they had gone to after their mother left. Their tribe couldn't care less if they disappeared, and when the sisters started getting close to a male cat, his mate had her friends chase them out of the tribe. (Frankly, they were insulted that the other queens thought they were interested in him like THAT.) "Mom always made friends with queens when she went into new tribes. High standing queens. She had friends to back her up if anything ever happened. And she was pretty well liked."_

"_We don't like queens," Demeter said, frowning. They hadn't had many good experiences with queens their own age. (Toms were another matter.)_

"_Well, maybe we don't have to make friends with queens our age," the red queen continued. "They usually don't have much standing anyways. Think of it, we make friends with older queens, and they act like a matriarch to us."_

"_What if they don't like us?" Demeter asked._

"_Well," Bombalurina reasoned, "We can go with our failsafe. Toms."_

"_That's what got us in trouble last time."_

"_We wait," Bombalurina continued. "We watch them, while we make friends with the other queens. We listen for rumors of which are available, looking, and possibly interested. Then…we use our female 'enchantments' on them. And they're OURS. Think of it! A leader of a tribe, or a sentinel? Anyone who is well respected! Even if the others didn't like US, as long as we have Mr. Right with us, he would defend our standing in the tribe."_

"_I don't know," Demeter said, squirming in her place. "How would that make us any different from whores?"_

"_We wouldn't be SLEEPING with them, per se," Bombalurina said, working out the plan in her head as she went along. "We wouldn't even have to call ourselves their mates. By the time they'd want to start something, we'll be ready to leave again." _

_The idealism of youth…They didn't take into account the aggression some toms had, the competition from secret admirers, and the back-stabbing of so-called friends. They also never expected to gain affection for the cats they were deceiving. Love seemed so easy to control, when they weren't involved with it. But Bombalurina fell for one of the toms she was deceiving. When it came time for them to leave, she decided she would tell him of their secret. Maybe they could stay. Maybe their mother was wrong._

_They had never seen a tribe turn on them so quickly._

"Demeter?" The queen gladly broke her train thought as she turned to look at Jennyanydots. The gumbie cat beckoned the queen inside. "He's doing fine. You just make sure he keeps off his feet for a while. He's asking for you." The gold queen smiled to the elder cat, before walking into the den. Jennyanydots closed a makeshift curtain at the entrance of the den they used as a door to give them privacy.

"Munku," Demeter said as cheerfully as she could. Her nervousness couldn't be masked, however.

"I'm fine," he assured her, sitting up slowly, holding his side. "I wanted to see you. I think I scared you last night."

"You made me a little nervous, yes," she admitted. She had mastered the art of equivocation, if nothing else. She walked to his side, and sat on his bed, putting a paw on his shoulder, not wanting to injure him by hugging him.

He, however, put out his paw and pulled her closer gently, letting his paw rest on her side. "Well, at least I'll have a scar to match yours, now," he said lightly, trying to smile. The look from the gold queen made him cringe. "Sorry, a joke in bad taste." Demeter felt him gently stroke the scar on the side of her stomach, only detectable when she allowed someone close enough to feel beneath her fur.

"I don't know who would hurt an angel like you," he whispered into her ear.

"You're the angel, Munku." She looked at his wounds. "Anyone who would hurt you should be punished in hell." To her, that was the fate that should befall anyone who injured an angel. And she waited for it, when she would finally meet her demise.

_So many hearts broken. So many dreams they allowed to be built that involved them, only to send them crashing to the ground when they abandoned their friends and lovers. There were cheerful faces of kittens who were close to them lodged in her memories. The kittens were now old or dead, and probably aged faster than they were meant to when they had to deal with their role-models disappearing. The scars on their bodies served as reminders of the pain they caused others by their sheer existence. Each scar held the sins they would have to pay for one day._

_This made Demeter feel hopeless. When their mother had left them, she said to them, "We will meet again in the Heaviside." But once they decided their fates were to be the opposite of their paradise, Demeter told her sister they had to keep moving. If not for their survival, then to find their mother before any of them died. To see each other one last time before not even death could bring their souls back together. Maybe they could find a bit of heaven on earth for themselves. It was the only thing Demeter hoped for. _

_That was, until they met Grizabella. Then all hope was lost._

Demeter looked in on Munkustrap from outside their den as he was sleeping. Bombalurina stood behind her, a paw on her shoulder. "Do I have to leave him now?" she asked. "While he's injured?"

"A week ought to clear that right up," Bombalurina tried to sound cheery. But Demeter would have nothing of it. "Why are you so obsessed with him, anyway? You never used to get this way about leaving." The two moved away from where the others couldn't hear them.

"Do you remember when we found Grizabella?" she asked.

"Her?" Bombalurina asked, confused. "I wasn't too fond of her."

"Well, with good reason," Demeter admitted. "But…when she told us mother had died, I didn't know what to do. All I wanted to go was see her again. Now…why can't we go to the Heaviside? They have that ability! We could make friends with Old Deuteronomy, and…" Her sister looked unconvinced. "Imagine, staying here, making lives for ourselves. Stopping our games and lies!"

"They'll grow old all around us, Demeter," Bombalurina said warningly.

"I want a chance to go to Heaven!" Demeter said louder than she had meant to. They both looked around, nervous, but when there were no heads popping out from around the corner to give them a questioning look, Demeter continued, in a softer voice. "We can't do that if we keep lying to everyone we meet! It's not fair to anyone. Not them, not us…"

"You'll break a few hearts," Bombalurina said. "But atleast you'll save yours." Demeter averted her eyes. The red queen furrowed her brows in question, before realization struck. Bombalurina's jaw dropped, and she shook her head. She then grabbed her sister by the shoulders. "No!" she said. "Don't go thinking that you have feelings for _him_! You're just thinking that because you miss mother!"

"And if it's not that?" Demeter asked.

"DEMETER!" Bombalurina said sharply, trying to get her sister to look her in the eyes. "Do you want to stay here and watch everyone dying around you? Is that really what you want? How do you think he'd feel about that? And the others? Face it, kitten, we're not normal! We never will be! We can't ask for what normal cats have! They have precious few years to spend with each other…" Then she sighed. "I'm starting to sound like a greeting card…

"But you know what I'm saying is true," she continued after regaining her train of thought. "Maybe someday you'll meet a nice Jellicle tom to spend your life together with. But…it's not him. And you can't spend the rest of _his_ life with him. It's too hard. He won't accept it."

Demeter could see the pain in her sister's eyes from the memories of their past, and she could say nothing. The gold and black queen nodded in acceptance. She found herself crying on her sister's shoulder like a kitten. Everything was far too confusing. And while she knew what she was supposed to do, she didn't have the heart to do it.

"_Mom?" asked little Demeter, long before she knew how difficult life would be. "What's a Jellicle cat?"_

"_An alumnus of heaven and hell," the mother responded, cleaning off her kittens' fur. _

"_What does that mean?" little Bombalurina asked._

"_We were kicked out of heaven," she explained. "But we live through hell."_


	3. Finding Sanctuary

_A/N: I just need to say how aggravating it is to have a chapter ready, and not being able to upload. Enough said, enjoy the chapter! _

* * *

Chapter 3 - Finding Sanctuary 

Demeter lay by the entrance of the junkyard, breathing in and out slowly in order to calm her nerves. She hated feeling like this; like her stomach was tying in knots and her throat was closing up on her. Only now, the nervousness she was accustomed to was getting worse, and she didn't know why.

Demeter lifted up her head and tried to smile when she saw bright black eyes staring at her. Mistoffelees had entered the junkyard, probably coming to visit from his human home, and saw her sad face from a mile away. Sure, he was a shy cat, but that didn't stop him from being chivalrous. If Demeter looked close to tears, it was inevitable he would ask her why.

"Is something the matter?" he asked, as expected.

'My life,' she thought to herself. Out loud, she answered with a cheerful smile, "Nothing."

"You sure?"

'Nothing I want to share with _you_,' she thought. Instead, she said, "Just have some things on my mind."

"I see," he said, returning her smile. "I hope you feel better, Demeter." The queen nodded as the tom walked off. She breathed a sigh of relief. She only had to deal with it for a few more days. For the first time, that was a consolation. Demeter enjoyed it best when they were between tribes. She enjoyed it even more when they could stay with human families. There, they could be themselves. They didn't have to interact with other cats if they didn't want to. It was a break from their norm. The only draw back was having to sit and reminisce all day. Normal cats think of their third name. The sisters thought of their many pasts. And always on the most recent ones.

_Demeter and Bombalurina stood at the entrance of the junkyard. Another new home. It was almost thrilling each time they found a new place to stay, but as always, there was definitely fear of the unknown before them._

_A cat passed by, looking intently at the queens. A cat with bright black eyes. "Excuse us," Demeter began. "We're looking for a place to stay."_

"_Oh," said the tuxedoed tom. "Of course." He walked up to them. "My name is Mistoffelees. And you two?"_

"_Demeter," said the queen. She then pointed a paw to her sister. "And this is Bombalurina." She hated taking the role of instigator. That was usually Bombalurina's job. She was so much better at it than her. But the red queen wasn't feeling too well. It was rare she got into these moods, and they were only brought on when she was nursing a broken heart. Or rather, trying to ignore it. "Mistoffelees, is your leader available?"_

"_Why would you like to know?" he asked, with a cheerful air, but Demeter recognized suspicion in his eyes. _

"_We know we probably don't smell right to you," she said. "Our last tribe wasn't the most renowned tribe there was. But…we just need a place to start over." _

"_Let me get the second in command," Mistoffelees said, keeping a wary eye on them. He then turned and ran, disappearing around a pile of junk._

"_How appropriate," Demeter whispered to her sister. "A junkyard. We seem to be finding worse and worse locations to stay." But Bombalurina wasn't quite there. Demeter nudged her sister lightly. The only response she got was an annoyed groan. "Everything will be okay," the gold queen whispered. "Please…I can't do this without you."_

_Demeter hugged her sister, but there was no response. The gold queen supposed there were times that even her brave sister had to abandon reality for even a moment. Perhaps she was dreaming of what could have been if they were just normal. Perhaps it was so tempting to stay in that thought, that she refused to come back… Demeter eyes began to fill with tears. _

"_Hello." Demeter quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, and formed a defensive posture, hissing at whatever had broke her concentration. She was staring at a silver tabby. "I didn't mean to startle you," he said gently. The gold queen blinked. Quickly, she brought her senses back to her current reality. It took her a moment to remember what she was doing. When she saw the tuxedoed tom peeking out from inside a pipe, she remembered._

"_Oh, I'm sorry!" Demeter said quickly, feeling flustered. "I just…I've come from a…that is to say…"_

"_You came from Macavity's tribe," the silver tabby finished for her. Thankfully, that put Demeter's reality back into proper perspective._

"_We don't mean to intrude," she said, not missing a beat. "That tribe was hardly reputable, I know. But we need a place to stay." _

_The downtrodden looks of the sisters must have made the tabby believe they were in need of a sanctuary. He quickly took them in, and asked a handsome bi-colored black and white named Alonzo to help him patrol later in case Macavity were to find out where the two queens were. He listened as Demeter weaved her truthful, yet unrevealing story of their life in that tribe. She knew how to be demure when needed, especially around the classic protector. And her semi-act worked perfectly. By the nights end, a tiger striped and leopard spotted queen was checking on Bombalurina, as Demeter waited nearby, genuinely concerned for her sister._

_At one point, the silver tabby came near again. Slightly disappointed, as Demeter wasn't too fond of tabbies, and would have preferred to try her charms on the bi-colored, she thought it best to not alienate herself from the tom. After all, he was the reason they were in the tribe to begin with. Without her sister to guide her, she had to quickly form a plan to make friends with the healer, Jennyanydots, and try and begin connections with the high ranking members of the tribe._

_She walked over to the silver tabby. "I'm sorry," she said as she averted her eyes, not wanting to make eye-contact. "I never asked your name."_

_Demeter could see out of the side of her eye the gentle smile the tom gave her, showing her no harm. "Munkustrap."_

"My Munkustrap," whispered the queen to herself. "Soon to be…not." Bombalurina was walking up to her, and the queen lifted herself on her shaking legs.

"You look like a wreck," she commented, putting a paw on her shoulder.

"Yeah," whispered Demeter.

"I know this isn't easy," Bombalurina said gently. "But you have to keep up appearances. How would it look if you kept avoiding Munkustrap now that he's bed-ridden?"

Demeter felt her stomach churn. But she knew she was right. If anything, she should be spending more time with him right now. And here she was, avoiding him for two days straight, looking a mess, and having no explanation why. "Okay…but can you come with me?"

Bombalurina nodded. "Sure."

The two sisters walked over to his den. Bombalurina went in first. "Munkie!" she said cheerfully. The silver tabby twitched his ear at that name and frowned at the red queen. "How are you feeling?"

"I want to get up," he complained. "But Jennyanydots won't let me."

"Feeling restless?" asked the red queen.

"I don't think I've seen the sun in two days," he said, shaking his head. His eyes then caught the eyes of the gold queen peeking in through the entrance. "Hey!" His eyes lit up instantly. "What are you doing all the way over there? It's not like I'm contagious."

Demeter nodded, going to step in. Then she stopped in her tracks.

"Demeter," Bombalurina laughed nervously. "What are you doing, silly kitten? He's you're mate!" The not-so-subtle reminder made Demeter feel even worse. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. She was going to be sick…

Demeter clapped her paw over her mouth and ran away from the den. She threw up in an old tin can until there was nothing left and she was dry heaving. She was shaking all over. By the time Bombalurina had found her, she was beginning to cry.

_Crying was a dangerous practice in their games of deception. Sometimes they had no good excuse for crying, and if someone found them, they would have to either make up a story or distance themselves by refusing to talk about it. So she tried to train herself not to cry anymore over the pains of the past. The answer to this problem was often to throw herself into other activities. _

"_How goes it, sis?" Bombalurina was finally beginning to come back to reality. It was a slow process at times, but she was now sitting up, eating, and conversing. What's more, she seemed interested in her sister, again. This was good news._

"_Well," Demeter began. "I've got Jennyanydots practically coiled around my finger. Turns out that one stint with that cat-lady really paid off. Jenny likes knitting, crocheting, and tatting. And while I have yet to figure out what tatting is, she was very impressed that I can knit! She's very nice; I think you'll like her."_

"_That's good," Bombalurina agreed. "Sounds like you've done well."_

"_Well…" Demeter bit her lip, considering how she should put her next point. "I don't think…I mean…Bomba…you're the sexy one, not me." The red queen looked at her like she was insane, but Demeter continued. "I have been trying to get to know Alonzo…he's one of the sentinels…but he's a little aloof. And he flirts with other queens more than he would try to with me."_

"_Well, he has bad taste," she said, shrugging. "We don't need to put up with him. What else have we got?"_

"_There's the Rum Tum Tugger. But…I don't really like him. He comes on too strong. And I doubt any respect will come from having him as a potential mate. And I think he would play us before we could him."_

"_I like a challenge," Bombalurina said, with a twinkle in her eye. Demeter was surprised to see her sister jump right into another attempted relationship. She was worried her sister was still broken over her last one. But…she had to admit, as long as there was something to keep them occupied, it helped them forget. _

"_Well, I guess that will work," Demeter said, nodding. "I like Jenny, but I don't think she's enough to defend our staying here. Are…you up to it?"_

"_I'm fine," Bombalurina said curtly, getting up and stretching. "Listen, I want to be by myself for a bit, okay?"_

"_Oh…okay." Demeter picked herself up and left the room. Demeter tried to let it be. "Bombalurina was just upset," she told herself. "She just needed some time."_

_As she repeated these thoughts in her head that night, she walked about. That's when she saw Munkustrap patrolling. Alonzo took care of the day, Munkustrap the night. Taking a deep breath, and trying to forget 'the curse of the tabby', she thought of her sister. She could see Bombalurina running herself ragged over that Rum Tum Tugger and getting nowhere. Demeter could play the silver one fairly easily. She took in a deep breath and walked up to him. He was glad for someone to talk to that peaceful night. And with their conversation, and the way he smiled at her, she knew she had to make him love her._

"You're feeling okay now?" Bombalurina asked her sister. Demeter nodded.

"Okay…can you see him now?" Demeter shook her head. Bombalurina sighed. "Look, you have to go in soon. I told him that you were feeling sick, and were scared of passing anything onto him."

"Did he believe it?"

"Well, you know Munkustrap! He kept trying to pry the truth open from me. I finally had to whack him on the head and tell him to talk to _you_ about anything he thinks you're keeping from him."

Demeter's jaw dropped. "You hit him on the head?"

"Only lightly," Bombalurina said, imitating the blow to Demeter's own head. "Like that."

"And why did you pin this on me? Now he thinks I'm keeping some big secret from him!" Demeter groaned, holding her stomach. She thought she would be sick again.

"You'll be okay." Bombalurina rubbed Demeter on the back. She sighed. She supposed she should get it over with. After some more encouraging words from her sister, and some shoving from behind, Demeter finally went into the den to face her mate. He was already annoyed with her for leaving him for so long. She tried to ignore it, the prying questions. But that only worked for so long. She finally understood why Bombalurina felt the need to smack him.

"If there's something wrong, who better to protect you?" he said. "After all, I protect the junkyard everyday…except for recently. And I'm your mate." He said that last tone in a way that sounded like, 'So you better tell me,' rather than the sweet tone he said it with.

Demeter had been trying to avoid eye-contact. Munkustrap took her chin in his paw and made her look at him in the eyes. "What is it?" he asked softly.

Demeter took her tail in her paws and wrung it. She had thought about this moment for a long time now, more so recently. She had always hoped that her decision, or the right lie, or the truth…whatever was right…would choose to come out at this moment, and she wouldn't have to drill herself over this again and again. Now, her brain went numb, and she was lost in his eyes.

He was a gentle tom. She never had a reason to be scared of him. She had only ever seen him be forceful with anyone who would dare hurt his tribe. And the way he would "play" with the kittens, or rather, tolerate them playing while he stood there and took the abuse, told her things would be alright. She had never seen him angry at anyone in their tribe. Would he get angry with her? Maybe it was best to tell him the truth. Anything was better than breaking his heart this way. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Munkustrap," she said, nervously. Her voice was quavering. "I have something to tell you." The silver tom sat up as best he could and gave her his undivided attention.

'Here goes,' she thought.

"I...Things aren't always as they seem. You see…Munkustrap…my love…I…I…" Demeter stopped. Munkustrap gave her a confused look. Demeter clapped her paw over her mouth. "I'm gunna be sick!" She raced out of the den, leaving Munkustrap confused and concerned.

_Bombalurina stood in front of Demeter in a protective manner, staring at the queen who they encountered in the alleyway. By the looks of it, she was - to be kind to her- a 'fallen queen'. Bombalurina growled lowly, looking the queen over. "What do you want?" she hissed._

"_I didn't mean to disturb you," the queen said softly. "It's just…you look like someone I once knew. I thought for a moment…" She laughed softly. "Years of leaving your loved ones behind, and you begin to think you see them anywhere."_

"_Who did you think we were?" Demeter inquired as gently as possible. It was in great contrast to her sister's low growling. But that growling stopped when the queen told them the name of the cat she mistook them for. Demeter gasped. "That's our mother!"_

"_Do you know where she is?" Bombalurina asked._

"_How do you know her?"_

"_Who are you, anyways?"_

"_Oh…" the queen said, suddenly uneasy about the entire situation. "My name is Grizabella." The two queens looked at each other. They had heard of her in their tribe. Apparently, she abandoned them when many of the cats were young, and they wanted nothing more to do with her. "Come with me. I have something to tell you…"_

Demeter paced outside of Jennyanydots den. She had something to ask her. She hadn't been feeling well, and while she could otherwise blame it on her nerves, she had a feeling there was something more going on. She didn't know what to think about it all. So finally, she went inside.

"Jenny?" she said meekly.

"Oh," said the queen, looking her over. "What's the matter, dear? Is something wrong with Munkustrap?"

"No, oh, no," Demeter said quickly. "I'm afraid it's me. I just…haven't been feeling well lately, and I thought I was just…upset." Jennyanydots nodded, as though she understood. The gold queen smiled weakly. She was always so kind, and so perfectly naïve to Demeter's situation. "But I'm starting to think it's something more. And I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with me…Or I wasn't contagious," she added, carrying on her sister's lie.

Jennyanydots was glad to do anything for the golden queen.

Just as Demeter meant it to be.

_The two sisters entered the junkyard in a daze. Bombalurina kept shaking her head, trying to get her senses back. Demeter was following her sister mechanically. They stood still for a while. Finally, Bombalurina got some of her senses back, and turned to her sister. "We…can't let this get to us," she said softly. Demeter simply nodded. "I…have a date tonight with Tugger. I should go." Her sister didn't want to deal with it. She never did._

_Demeter walked numbly through the junkyard, not wanting to go back to her den, to see anyone, to be anywhere, to do anything. Her mind was slowly trying to wrap itself around her situation. She wouldn't be allowed in the Heaviside Layer, surely, for all she had done in the past. At least, that's what they had decided. They just wanted one last moment. A chance at a life, not a different life, with their mother. That had been their drive for so long. And now what? Their mother was…_

_She couldn't even think of it. As long as she didn't accept it, she could still be out there somewhere, surviving. Not a victim to whatever disease it was that…THAT cat said overcame her. If she believed that, Demeter had no purpose. _

_There was no purpose. She had nothing without that one thin hope of seeing her mother again. No one else could stay in her life for a lifetime, except her sister. She loved her sister, yes, but when she was all she could depend on with the absence of a good mother…_

_Their mother was a good mother…_

"_Is a good mother," Demeter corrected herself. "IS a good mother." The chances of her being alive…they never expected something like this to happen. And what's more, she couldn't figure out why she felt so numb. _

"_Cry," she commanded herself. But no tears came. "CRY, damn it!" _

"_Demeter?" The queen didn't bother to turn. The only cat who would be out and about this late would be Munkustrap, and she didn't care to see HIM, of all cats._

"_Go away!" she said harshly. To herself, she curled up into a fetal position, and commanded to herself again, "Cry!"_

"_What?"_

"_I can't CRY!" Demeter groaned in frustration. Had she become so dead inside, after so many years of avoiding her emotions, that she couldn't do something so instinctive? "I don't even WANT to cry! Something is horribly wrong with me. No…" Demeter got up and looked up at the moon above, as though it could answer all her questions. "I've never been normal! Stupid Everlasting Cat! DON'T YOU LOVE US! She didn't do anything to deserve this!"_

"_Who didn't?" Munkustrap edged over to her. Then he stepped back when the cat turned to him, almost looking like she was going to turn ON him. _

"_I think I'm going insane or something," she said in a shaky voice. "Look at me! I can't even cry for my mother!" Munkustrap just stared. "We should have…INSISTED on going with her when she told us to go on our own! We could have been there with her when…and now…that cat…THAT cat told us she's…"_

"_She's what?"_

"_She's DEAD!" Demeter bellowed, before gasping in horror at her own words. She didn't mean to say that. She heard herself whimper. _

"_Oh…Demeter, I'm so sorry." The gold queen felt her emotions beginning to give way. She knew they would be too much for her to handle. There were far too many things she had put away in the back of her mind. She looked up to see Munkustrap looking at her with concern, aching to console her, but not knowing what to do. "Is there anything I can do?"_

"_Yes," she said in a voice she didn't recognize. She walked up to him and kissed him hard on the lips, hardly caring what he thought or how this would turn out. She needed to find sanctuary in something else, away from her prior lives, from everything she had accumulated over the years. If it was wrong, she figured he would push her away, stop her, and she would have to find something else to find consolation in. _

_After what seemed like an eternity, he gave into the kiss, and pulled her close. In the back of her mind, she knew this was not what she had planned upon happening. In retrospect, she probably shouldn't have let it happen. She had been weaving her delicate threads to catch the tom who would be her perfect protector. She should have known he was already absolutely infatuated with her._

_The weeks after that night were a blur, as both sisters threw themselves into their new lives, as though everything in their past ceased to exist. Demeter had conned herself into thinking she had found a perfect mate in Munkustrap, and that her life was better now. No matter how she felt about him, then or now, there was one question that haunted her._

_What would she have done without him?_

Demeter wrung her paws together, as Jennyanydots followed her out into the open. She was saying some things that Demeter needed to know considering her current state. The gold queen wasn't listening. Her nerves were now far more wrecked than they previously were. 'This can't happen,' she told herself. 'It's impossible!'

"Munkustrap?" Demeter's attention was brought back to reality when she heard Jennyanydots' sharp tone to the tabby who was up and walking, or limping, about. "I told you to stay in bed! How do you expect to heal walking around?"

"I was worried," he told Jennyanydots quickly, before turning to Demeter and taking her shaking paw. He leaned in close and whispered to her. "Demeter, you almost told me something yesterday. Then you started avoiding me. I can't just sit around if something is wrong. You have to tell me."

"Oh," Jennyanydots said, who had perked up her ears and listened to the whispered conversation. "She was probably just nervous, but now she knows for sure!" Demeter barely caught herself before she cringed. If there was any time for the Gumbie cat to be quiet, was it NOW. "Go on, tell him the good news." Jennyanydots smiled reassuringly.

Demeter saw a few cats coming out from around the piles of junk to see what all the hubbub was about. They had, after all, seen their injured second in command rushing about even though he was in obvious pain, and then heard the Gumbie cat scolding him. And what with cats being curious…

Demeter smiled a nervous smile. What else could she do? "Munku," she began, trying her best to look the tom in the eyes and not look too aggravated by the news she just received. "I'm pregnant."


	4. Curse of the Tabby

Chapter 4 – The Curse of the Tabby

_Bombalurina woke up bright and early one morning and decided to go for a walk around the junkyard. It was only a short time before she noticed Demeter sitting on top of a on old car, looking towards the rising sun. The warming rays were making her gold and black fur shimmer a golden orange. The red queen smiled sadly. It had been weeks since she allowed herself to think of her mother, but the way her sister looked right then, she could think of nothing else._

_Climbing the junk pile, Bombalurina sat next to her sister, who acknowledged her presence with a gentle smile. "Good morning," said the red queen. Demeter looked down at her paws before deciding to groom her fur. Bombalurina found this to be odd. "What?"_

"_Nothing," she said as she moved her scented paw to her ear, and down over her cheek. That's when Bombalurina realized it._

"_You have another cat's scent on you!"_

"_Shh!" Demeter covered her sister's mouth. Then she sighed. "I guess I should tell you…" She removed her paw from her sister's mouth and took in a deep breath. "I kind of…slept with Munku last night."_

_Now, Bombalurina was hardly a prude, but this was definitely shocking to her. Her sister rarely ever did _anything_ with the toms she was trying to get interested in her. And considering she would do anything with a _tabby_ was even more shocking. They had many bad experiences with tabbies, and Demeter was the first to point out that trend. She also labeled it the 'curse of the tabby.' So while things didn't quite add up in Bombalurina's head as to why the gold queen would make such a decision, she decided not to pry. "Oh," she said. "Well…was he good?"_

"_BOMBA!" Demeter yelled, blushing under her fur. "This isn't something I mean to talk about, and not with _you_, my sister!"_

"_Alright, alright," said the red queen. There was silence. Demeter shuffled where she sat, obviously uncomfortable with the sudden silence. So Bombalurina decided to ask instead, "What are you doing out this early?"_

"_I just needed time to think," she said. "After everything that's happened, I wasn't thinking about anything at all. I was just taking life in stride. And now this happens, and I just had to leave. I couldn't think…"_

"_Wait," Bombalurina looked at her sister curiously. "You left him there?"_

"_Yeah," Demeter said nonchalantly. Bombalurina's jaw dropped._

"_You left him there! Dem, if Munkustrap wakes up you're not there, don't you think he'll take it personally? I know some toms could care less, but I assume Munk would be a bit of a romantic!" Demeter stared at her sister, confused. Then she shook her head, smiling a sad smile._

"_You're right," she whispered. "I guess that's another mate to add to my list…" She got up and left to the den._

_Bombalurina didn't realize it then, but thinking back, she kicked herself for being so insensitive. Her sister was trying to tell her something, and she sent her right back into her confusion without even a chance to try and clear things up. She didn't even give her time to digest what was happening to her. They may age slowly, but they lived their days so fast paced, always trying to guess the outcome, always trying to keep ahead of their discovery, that Bombalurina forgot to take time for emotions. If not hers, then at least her sister's._

_Sometimes she felt she wasn't good at these kind of things. And it hurt to think she wasn't good at being a sister. _

All the cats were gathering to see what the commotion was about. It was just like cats to peer safely around a corner to satisfy their curiosity and not get involved. Bombalurina was no exception. She took note of the cats who were watching whatever was going on. The one who stood out most was Mistoffelees, who was above everyone else. He was on a thin railing suspended between an old washing machine and a stove. Bombalurina shook her head. The lengths these cats would go to in order to satisfy their curiousity…

Then she peered around the corner, and gasped. Munkustrap was confronting Demeter about something he was going to tell him earlier, but failed to say. Bombalurina's heart leapt into her throat. She pushed past the other cats. While she stayed far enough away as not to cause suspicion, she couldn't hide her tense stance, or the fact that she was ready to jump in and save her sister at any moment.

"I'm pregnant," were the words that came from the gold queen's mouth. Bombalurina would have fallen over in shock if Mistoffelees hadn't crashed to the ground in front of her. Sure, he landed on his feet, but the momentum of his ungraceful descent to the ground caused him to end up splayed on the floor, with the wind knocked out of him.

"You okay, Misto?" Bombalurina asked as some of the tom kittens began to laugh at him. Bombalurina and Victoria helped him up.

"Yeah," he blushed under his fur, and tried to catch his breath. "I just didn't expect that…"

'Me neither,' thought Bombalurina. By the time she made sure the tuxedoed tom was alright, Demeter and Munkustrap were being congratulated, as all the cats rounded on them. Demeter looked like she would be sick. 'Well,' Bombalurina thought, as she sighed. 'This might complicate things a bit.'

--------

Demeter was trying to get Munkustrap to sit back and stay in his bed. But he was too excited to rest. "I don't want you walking by yourself if your expecting. Especially if Macavity is about. And you shouldn't be running around. Are you feeling okay? Eating okay? I can get you anything you want!"

"Munku, love?" The tom gave her his full attention. "What I would _love_ for you to do right now is rest. Then you can be around to take care of our kittens."

He smiled proudly. "Our kittens."

Demeter blushed under her fur. The thought of it all! And she still wasn't sure how to take the news. But Munkustrap was so happy, and that made her feel better about everything. She supposed she shouldn't look so worried. So she returned his smile. She got up to leave, but he held her paw and pulled her down on the pillow with him. He nuzzled her, kissing her sweetly on the cheek, and stroked the side of her face. Demeter purred softly.

'He loves me,' she thought to herself.

There was a knock at the door as Bombalurina poked her head in. "Munkie-darling," she said in a sing song voice, with every intention to annoy the silver tabby. And she did. "Do you mind if I take my sister out to celebrate the good news? With all the commotion, I haven't even had a chance to congratulate either of you!"

"Thank you," Munkustrap said. Demeter could hear the annoyance in his voice at having been interrupted. But she began to get up, and he mournfully let her go. "I'll see you later tonight, Dem," he smiled.

Demeter felt like she was going to an execution as she walked out the den. Bombalurina was silent as they made their way out of the junkyard and to the alleyway they conducted most of their 'Jellicle' business.

Once there, Bombalurina cuffed her sister. "PREGNANT! I mean, I know you didn't want to leave, but to pull a stunt like _that_? How could you be so stupid!"

"Bomba, wait…"

"I mean, there are a _million_ different lies I could have come up with aside from _that_! What were you thinking?"

"Bomba!"

"Oh, and in front of the entire tribe, too! _That_ should tide over well when you bear no kittens whatsoever! Hey, maybe we can get a bunch of tiny rats to pretend to be newborn kittens! Or better yet, baby Poms! _That should work out fine!_"

"Bomba! I really _am_ pregnant!"

"Come off it, sis. You know a Jellicle can't breed with a non-Jellicle. We might as well be different species."

"Bomba…Jenny checked me. I'm not kidding." Bombalurina looked her sister over. "Don't you think I've been acting weird lately?"

"You're weird in general," Bombalurina reasoned, with a smart-aleck smile on her face.

"Throwing up a lot?"

"Bad meat. Or you've just decided you're literally _sick_ of all the sweet talk Munkustrap spouts out to you night and day."

"It's not _that_ much," Demeter defended. "He has dignity, you know…and how did you know he sweet talks me?"

"He just seems like he would," Bombalurina said, offhandedly.

"Anyway," continued Demeter. "What about my mood swings?"

"You're a queen!"

"But all at the same time?" Demeter said, her voice raising. "You're right, I _am_ a queen. Let's not forget what the female of the species is _supposed_ to be able to do! Face it, Bomba!"

Bombalurina's face slowly began expressing shock as the reality registered in her brain. She was silent for a while, as she put her paw over her mouth in thought. Finally, after she figured she had her thoughts clear, she said, "Is Munkustrap a Jellicle?"

"I don't know," Demeter sighed, running her paws through her head fur. "I don't think so. He's lived in this tribe since he was a kitten. They would have noticed if he wasn't growing up right. Or, I mean, growing up like a normal cat would." Demeter sighed. "No matter how I say that, I sound like I'm putting down being a Jellicle."

"Maybe…" Bombalurina began as her mind worked a mile a minute. "Well, his father is Old Deuteronomy, right? Well, you've heard the song! _Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time, he's a cat who has lived many lives in succession._" She looked at her sister, who was considering the possibility.

"But…shouldn't Munku be the same, then?" Bombalurina shrugged. They knew nothing about how the genes worked. All they cared about before was what they were, not how they got about being what they were. They never even knew their father. Their mother said he was a tryst in the night, and never cared any more about him. Either way, they were left with no answers. "What does this mean for us, Bomba?"

Bombalurina sighed. "It means I become a good sister, and a good aunt, and tell you to stop worrying about this so much and rest."

"But…"

"No," she said gently. "A pregnancy is a pregnancy, and I don't want you hurting yourself or making yourself sick because of what we are."

"But Macavity, and the tribe…and when we were kittens, we grew up so slowly…"

"I'll worry about that," Bombalurina said gently. "We've spent our lives running, and for good reason. But these kittens…everything else is not worth losing them."

Demeter tried to calm down. Slowly, a smile came across her face. "Does that mean we can finally slow down? I can spend time with Munkustrap like we were really mates? Not have to worry about running anymore?"

"Yes," Bombalurina said evenly. She didn't want to lie to her sister. But it was the only thing that would calm her down.

-------

Bombalurina watched her sister go safely back into her den. Munkustrap was already asleep, and she watched as Demeter took up a blanket and covered him with it, before sitting by his side. She knew her sister was excited to finally have a chance at a family. It was something she needed after everything that happened. Now all Bombalurina had to do was keep it from going to hell in a hand-basket before the kittens were born.

"Tabbies," Bombalurina said to herself as she turned to walk away from the den. "Always causing trouble for us…why does it always have to be tabbies?" Now that Bombalurina took it upon herself to worry about everything her sister was supposed to worry about, she had a lot of thinking to do. That meant trying to figure out how to keep them from being sitting ducks for Macavity now that they had to stay in the tribe longer, figuring how kittens could be produced when through all technicality, no fertilization should have ever occured between the two, and having a plan for if –or she should say _when_- the other members find out about them being different!

Bombalurina was beginning to understand her sister's constant nervousness…

The fur on the back of her neck rose. Someone was watching her, she could feel it. She spun around to see the end of an orange tail disappear into a pipe. Something snapped in the red queen. "Oh, no you don't!" she said before giving chase.

She jumped into the pipe, followed it it's length out, and saw the tail out of the side of her eye as it rounded a corner. She raced over to the corner and saw in the distance two cats jumping over a pile of old shoes. Bombalurina raced over to the old shoes, and saw the two cats exiting the junkyard. The red queen ran after the two at speeds she didn't know were possible, but with the help of needing to defend her sister, were easily attained.

Just outside the junkyard, Bombalurina flew through the air and pounced on an orange and black striped tabby, causing him to yelp in surprise. She had him pinned, his stomach to the ground. "Mungojerrie," she growled. "Why are you spying on me?"

"I wasn' spyin' on ya!" he yelped. "Ge' off me!" He must have been very surprised as Bombalurina's speed and strength. And the queen didn't dare let him up."

"Liar!" she hissed. "What were you doing outside my sister's den?" But her questioning was cut short when someone starting beating her on the back.

"Ge' off 'im!" she yelled. Bombalurina swatted at the queen behind her, but missed. Mungojerrie suddenly rolled over, causing Bombalurina to fall to the side. The orange tom then sat on the queen's stomach and pinned her arms.

"Hah!" he yelled, Rumpleteazer applauding him from behind. "Didn' expect THA', did ya?"

"Uh, Mungo?" Bombalurina said. He gave her a questioning look, that then turned into a pained expression when Bombalurina yanked her arm free and hit the tom in the stomach. "Keep a good grip on whoever you're pinning!" Rumpleteazer hurried over to help her partner, but Bombalurina, who was surprisingly strong for a queen, threw him off of her, and into the orange queen, knocking Rumpleteazer to the ground.

The orange queen groaned in frustration before rising to her feet, and turning to the other, lunging at her and trying to fight her. The two queens got into a scuffle, hissing, swatting, and scratching each other while Mungojerrie got his senses back and rose to his feet. He considered getting into the fight and helping Rumpleteazer, but the cat fight seemed more intriguing than the need to help…

Lightening struck, and the three cats jumped away from each other, looking at the spot they had just been in. Simultaneously, all three eyes turned up to the source of the lightening: a black and white tom. "What are you guys fighting for?" Mistoffelees was on the junkyard fence, looking down on them as though he were the Everlasting Cat himself, about to pass judgment on his fighting children.

"Those two!' Bombalurina hissed, pointing at the partners in crime. "They're spies for Macavity!"

"We are no'!" Rumpleteazer cried, looking between Mungojerrie and Mistoffelees. "We don' work fo' 'im anymore! Much…"

Bombalurina looked ready to lunge at them again. But while she would otherwise believe lightening never struck the same place twice, she trusted Mistoffelees aim. "If you do _anything_ to hurt my sister…"

"Who said we 'ad a problem with Demeta'?" Mungojerrie asked, offended.

"We were jus' doin' Misto a fav-ah!" Rumpleteazer said. Mistoffelees tail twitched.

"_Fav-ah_?" Bombalurina asked. "A Favor?"

"Yeah! Tell 'er, Misto!" The three cats turned their attention to the tuxedoed tom. He looked nervous. But he showed his resignation with a sigh.

"I asked them to spy on you for me, Bomba," he said. The queen stared dumbly. "Only since the news this afternoon, though. I didn't think they would get caught so easily." He gave the two cats a look that rivaled any Munkustrap could ever give them.

"What?" Bombalurina felt her prior energy had been completely drained. "Why?"

"I thought I knew who you two were," he explained. "But now with this happening…I…" His eyes shifted to the cat burglars, who were blissfully ignorant of what the tom was talking about. "We should talk about this in private."

Bombalurina looked over to the two, who looked at her as though they were seeing her in a new light. "And you two haven't told Macavity anything?"

"Not a thin'!" Mungojerrie said, crossing his heart. Rumpleteazer, who stood behind him, imitated his gesture. "We don' even know what you're talkin' about. Though, we're well up for it!" He smiled to Mistoffelees, but the tom shook his head, making the orange tom frown and mutter something not kind to the tuxedoed tom under his breath.

Mistoffelees jumped off the fence and began to lead Bombalurina to a secluded area. Bombalurina shook her head as she walked past the cat burglars. "Tabbies," she muttered as she went to "talk" Mistoffelees.


	5. Where Truth and Lies Begin

**Chapter 5 – Where Truth and Lies Begin**

Demeter lay against Munkustrap as he watched the junkyard. He never quite got the idea that "resting" meant actually taking a break from his normal activities. Jennyanydots let go of her insistence on him staying in bed while his wounds healed. But she didn't want him back to his normal activities just yet. Though the outer injuries seemed fine, she didn't want to take a chance with those sensitive bruised ribs. He assured Jennyanydots, Demeter, and everyone else who asked him, that he was fine. Demeter had the sneaking suspicion that he told her to lean against him if she got tired, just to prove to everyone that be he injured or not, he could still withstand anything.

The only reason she was actually leaning against him was because he was boring her out of her mind! Sure, she was tired, what with all the kitten making going on inside her. But it seemed that with her being pregnant now, he didn't want her to do _anything_!

Not that he outright told her that. No, it was always, "I'd feel better if you didn't leave the junkyard without someone with you," or "Don't you think it's a little too hot to be walking outside with black fur?" He had to change the wording of that last one, as he first phrased it, "Don't you think it's a little too hot to be walking outside alone?" to which she remarked that it made no sense, the heat would be the same with or without a companion, which drew out a long and pointless debate as to how much sense that question had.

Demeter sighed as she thought about it. The only reason he was so nervous about her being alone was so blatantly obvious to everyone, it was almost sickening. Sure, she promised him she wouldn't leave the junkyard unaccompanied. That thought scared her as well, what with an angry Napoleon of Crime after her. But he wouldn't let her have a moment alone! She liked her moments alone... It gave her time to dream of a different life, what it would be like, and immerse herself into it, even if just for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Munkustrap asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"You sighed."

"Just thinking," she said. All that time wishing for a new life, and now that she had it, she didn't know what to do with it. It wasn't much of a new life, though. It wasn't as though being a true blooded Jellicle was a disease that was washed away from her, and she was now normal. It was a cancer. It had become dormant, yes, but waiting for the moment to flare up and destroy her life again.

"Dem?" asked the silver cat, prying his eyes away from the junkyard he was trying to keep safe and finally looking to his mate.

"Hmm?"

"Why were you scared to tell me?" Demeter sat up and looked at Munkustrap with some confusion. Inside, however, she was cursing herself. She knew this would come up sooner or later. The way she had been acting before she told him the "good news" could only be explained so far with the fact that she was scared of admitting she was pregnant. How could she explain avoiding him, running from him, looking absolutely terrified of telling him, and letting him think there was something horribly wrong? Days, she had to mull this over, as she knew Munkustrap would eventually ask, and she still had no good reason.

'Damn it, Munkustrap,' she thought in her head. 'Why can't you be just a _tad_ slower!' There was one thing she couldn't figure out, though. Why did Munkustrap look upset with her?

"What are you talking about?" she asked as innocently as possible, though the crack in her voice should have given her away.

"The running away?" Munkustrap reminded her. "I don't understand that. Why were you so afraid to tell me?"

"Oh," she said, looking to her paws, hoping to buy herself some time. She felt her stomach turning. One lie, one little lie! That's all she needed right now to get her out of everything! And yet it wasn't coming to her. "I was just…so nervous!"

Munkustrap looked her over quickly, before taking in a deep breath. "That's it?"

"That's it." Demeter looked the silver tom over and narrowed her eyes. "Why? What did you think it was?"

"Nothing," he said, turning back to the junkyard. Demeter twitched her tail. She didn't like being lied to, though she realized the irony in that.

"Munkustrap, what do you possibly think I would keep something like that from you for?" He looked away. Demeter ran through the possibilities in her mind of what he could be thinking that would make him look away from her like that. Then she gasped, and shot up to her feet, her paws on her hips. "You take me for some kind of whore!"

"I never said that!" he yelled, quickly rising to his feet to, suddenly on the defensive.

"But you think I kept this from you because they weren't yours!"

"Dem," said the tom, concerned at how angry his mate had become. "I was just wondering why you were so scared to tell me! You weren't looking at me, you weren't speaking to me, you kept running from me, and then you tell me something like that, and it just didn't make sense!"

Demeter groaned in frustration. She knew perfectly well that it didn't make sense. What's more, it made complete sense he should, even in a stray thought, question the paternity of the kittens. But to be thought of in that way, and it in the broadest sense have merit, was what made Demeter feel like pulling her fur out. Sure, she had many toms in the past, but not at the same time! She would never do that to herself, forget the toms!

"Munkustrap," she said, with an edge of hostility. She tried to keep the words from pouring out, but she could only do so much. "I didn't think this was possible! I didn't think I could have kittens! Especially not with you! So yes, I was scared. I didn't know what was happening, and I couldn't face you."

"Especially not with me?" Munkustrap asked, completely bewildered, and bordering on angry.

"I--" Demeter saw the hole she was digging getting bigger. How was she going to explain away that sentence without insulting him? So she just kept talking. "I know you're my mate, Munku, but you weren't supposed to be." After hearing herself say that, there was a resounding '_damn it!_' in her head.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" he said with a slight hiss.

"I'm..." Demeter took in a big gulp of air, trying not to let that familiar nausea feeling take her over. _Anything_! Come up with _anything_ to explain it away! "I mean, you…are…a high ranking tom," she began choppily, "and I'm just a queen who came in off the streets. You are a pure breed, and my lineage is so mottled, I don't know what I am! You come from a good family and a good tribe, and I can't even speak of mine!"

Munkustrap flinched. "You think…you're not good enough for me?" Demeter tried not to look too happy to be catching onto a possible explanation. So she went quiet and wrung her paws in nervousness. Munkustrap seemed to be processing the little bits of information he received, before turning to Demeter. "What did you think I would do, leave you on your own?"

'_AHA!_' Demeter's mind screamed. '_There it is! Latch onto it!_' She looked down as she let her long practiced nervous-and-frightened-queen routine she pulled out for just such an occasion take over. It wasn't very different from her normal personality, which made it easy for her to act out, but her emotions were in control, and she had less of a chance of slipping up.

Slowly looking up to Munkustrap, she seemed to grow smaller under his gaze and sudden realization. Then, with a sharp inhalation of breath, as though she was holding back tears, she whispered, in a pained voice, "I've seen it happen many times before. I…keep trying to tell myself that this tribe is different, that you love me, that my life is different now. I guess…I just panicked. It's all I knew," she added, thinking it a nice touch.

The silver tom stared at the queen with an indiscernible expression on his face. It felt as though her heart stopped. Had he not believed her? Has she laid it on too thick? Would she be forced to run, leaving her sister to find out what happened, so they could meet at their rendezvous later and leave this tribe. She really didn't want that. Not now…

Tears began to form in her eyes at the thought. "Dem," he said with a comforting voice, scooting closer to his mate, arms stretched out, ready to hug her, if she would let him. "How could you think I would ever do that to you?"

Demeter gave a nervous chuckle. She had to do something to let out the excitement she had from finishing up a perfect lie, and not getting caught. She planned on closing it off with a gentle hug, and maybe some time in quiet contemplation in each others arms. She could revel in the fact that a lie came up at just the right moment, just like always.

"Oh…" Demeter held her stomach. She then rushed off to throw up.

After Munkustrap had found her again, apologized profusely for having upset her while carrying his kittens, and rubbed her back to make her feel better, she sighed and had to comfort herself in his arms. She almost forgot about the kittens.

Maybe it wasn't 'just like always.'

----------

Bombalurina laughed to herself as she sat with Demeter two nights later on top of an old car, whispering to each other. Demeter was rubbing her stomach, which didn't show any signs of her pregnancy yet, but caused her great worry. Bombalurina wasn't paying attention to the troubled queen, as she was too busy looking up to the moon. "I have to give you credit for that," said the red queen. "Thinking on your toes like that."

"May I never have to do it again," she said to the moon, a common prayer she used. That didn't make it any less important to her. "Where have you been these past few days? Out with Tugger?"

"No," Bombalurina said, suddenly getting serious. "Out with Mistoffelees." This caught Demeter's attention. She sat up, looking at Bombalurina, bewildered. "What?"

"I expect many things from you, Bomba, but that's ridiculous!" Demeter said, shaking her head in disapproval. "They're best friends! This could tear them apart."

"I'm not dating the munchkin," Bombalurina rolled her eyes. "This has to do with _us_."

"You and me?" Demeter asked. But their conversation was cut short as they heard giggling in the distance. It wasn't kittenish giggling, or even that of the cat burglars, but came from the oddest sources.

Alonzo and Cassandra came out from around a corner, Alonzo grabbing onto Cassandra's waist and pulling her back towards him. She, apparently, was ticklish, hence explaining why this normally quiet and refined queen was thrown into spats of silly laughter. Alonzo just seemed to be enjoying acting completely immature. "Stop," Cassandra said, pushing the tom off, but with a coy smile.

"You should say what you mean some more," he said, with a smile on his face to challenge the meaning of Cassandra's smile. "A tom could get confused with all those mixed signals."

"Well then read my lips," the Abyssinian said, getting dangerously close to the bi-colored tom. "Not tonight."

"Your lips?" he asked, pulling her as close as possible, and looking ready to devour the queen's mouth.

Demeter cleared her throat to put a stop to this scene. Two sets of moonlit eyes turned to the sisters. Alonzo remorsefully let go of Cassandra, and cleared his own throat in embarrassment. "I don't suppose there's any way the two of you didn't see that."

"Hmm," Demeter said, turning to Bombalurina. "Did you go blind in this past minute and then magically get your eyesight back?"

"Nope! You?"

"It got a little blurry for a second, but after I blinked, I was fine."

"A simple 'no' would have sufficed," Alonzo glared. Then he rubbed his head in worry. "Can you…not tell this to Munkustrap? I'm supposed to be taking over for him, still."

"I don't tell him _everything_, Alonzo," Demeter sighed. "Have you been doing this every night?"

"I hope not," Cassandra said, giving the tom a side glance. "This is the first time he's done anything with me this week…"

"You know…" Alonzo starting backing away, "I'm just going to go patrol for a bit." He pointed in an obscure direction, before walking off to it, leaving the three queens silently watching him leave.

"Toms," Demeter sighed, shaking her head.

"I know," Cassandra said, as turned her attention to the sisters. "Good evening, Bombalurina."

"So formal," said the red queen, tensing up at the way she had been addressed. "You're not a human, Cassie. What's more, we're friends." Cassandra nodded, smiling mysteriously, as though she had meant to upset the queen in such a way.

Demeter looked to her sister, giving her a questioning look. But Bombalurina ignored it. "I'll see you later tonight, alright?" she said, smiling. "Tell Mistoffelees too, okay? I think it's time we tell Demeter."

"Tell me what?" the gold queen asked. Cassandra turned and walked off. When she was out of sight, Demeter turned to her sister, completely and utterly confused. "Tell me what? Since when have you been friends with Cassandra? Or Mistoffelees, for that matter? What do they have to do with us?" Bombalurina now smiled mysteriously. "Please, Bomba, you're scaring me."

"Shh, it's okay, Dem," her sister said soothingly as she petted the gold queen on the head. "You'll love this." Demeter flinched at what her sister had said, but she wouldn't let her ask any more questions. All the red queen would explain was that it would make it easier for them, and it was better for her to hear it from the source. She gave Demeter specific instructions, that after Munkustrap fell asleep, she sneak out to the back fence and meet her there.

It was almost exciting in a way, but at the same time, she was hoping to have a semi-normal life. Sneaking out for a secret rendezvous after spending a great deal of energy convincing her mate that he was the only one for her, was hardly normal, in her book. Maybe for some queens, but not her.

----------

In her den, which had suddenly had an onslaught of flora taking it over, due to Munkustrap's determination to apologize for their horrible spat the way humans do (with flowers), she was laying down next to her mate, who was moving around restlessly. Though most cats usually didn't need much convincing to take a cat nap, Munkustrap was still used to his late night patrolling schedule, and had no way of burning that energy. Just a couple of more days, and Jennyanydots would give him the okay to go back to his normal routine. But until then, he was like a silver tiger pacing in a cage.

Demeter thought how funny it was he listened so much to what Jennyanydots had to say, when he was so obviously more powerful than her. It was always odd for her to see a queen having matriarchal superiority over a tom. Sure, she had seen it happen tons of times in her lifespan thus far, but she had never stayed long enough to understand how someone reaches such a rank. It was something that would remain a mystery to her.

Munkustrap sighed loudly. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked, though his eyes begged.

"Rest," Demeter ordered.

"I've rested enough!" Munkustrap assured her.

"But I'm tired," she said. "I don't want to go for a walk."

The silver tabby sighed. "Then I'll go meet with Tugger."

"He's busy!" Demeter exclaimed, before calming herself down. She wasn't good at stalling people. She cleared her throat, embarrassed at her excitement to inform her mate that Tugger was busy. "He always goes out late at night, doesn't he?"

"Well, then," reasoned the tom. "I'll go with Alonzo," he turned to leave.

"No!" Demeter chided. "You are NOT going to patrol anything tonight! You don't want Jenny to give you another week to stay in, do you? I know you seem fine now, but if you get in a fight and re-injure yourself…" She let it hang. Munkustrap groaned in frustration. "Just sit and rest! Save your terpsichorean powers or something!"

"I have almost a year to do that," he said off-handedly. "It's not like I dance that much anyways."

"I think you dance wonderfully," Demeter commented. "And I, personally, would like to see more of it. Maybe you didn't dance so much during the last ball because you were so tired from all the patrolling you do."

"I had to take care of Old Deuteronomy," Munkustrap reminded her. "And I'd rather watch you dance, anyway. I can't very well do that if I'm dancing, now can I?" He playfully nudged the queen, who couldn't help but smile. Then an idea struck her.

"I know what would calm you down," she smiled coyly.

"What's that?" he asked with a sigh, looking out of the den mournfully. But Demeter came up behind him and hugged him, licking his cheek. "Oh…" he said, finally understanding what she meant. He turned to her and smiled. "That…"

---------

Demeter walked up quickly to Bombalurina, patting her fur down after it had been ruffled. "Dem, how long does it take to get a silver tabby to sleep?" asked the queen as she kept her eyes on her sister coming up to her. Demeter was still trying to catch her breath with all her…exertions…of trying to get there. She looked at Bombalurina, hoping she wouldn't realize.

Bombalurina looked her over once. "I suppose I should ask '_what_ does it take'…"

"Quiet, you," hissed the queen. She wasn't in a mood to get defensive though. She was tired, herself, now, and wanted to go to sleep. Preferably curling next to the tom who would miss her if he woke up. "I'm making you take the wrap if he gets mad at me for leaving in the middle of the night. Now what's this all about?"

Demeter suddenly felt the fur on the back of her neck rise. She looked up to see Mistoffelees and Cassandra on the fence, looking down at them. "Come on," was all the tuxedo tom said before jumping off to the other side of the fence. Cassandra shook her head and followed the tom.

"...Bomba, how long were they standing there for?" Demeter had turned completely red under her fur. It didn't help that Bombalurina shrugged at the question.

The two queens followed the other two cats, who were suddenly veiled in mystery to Demeter. Even her sister was acting different, which was unsettling. Soon, she would be told what was so important that Bombalurina couldn't explain it herself, and she wouldn't feel as lost as she felt at the moment. Even with her sister so close to her, she felt very far away. Demeter just hoped she would be told soon, and this feeling would end.

Finally, Mistoffelees stopped, Cassandra stopping beside him. They were in a clearing, not far from the junkyard, near an old brick fence that looked ready to fall apart, yet sturdy at the same time. It was secluded in that area, with only the Jellicle moon to truly bring light to them. The lights of the Jellicle junkyard seemed so far away. In the night, the two cats before seemed to be engulfed by the darkness. If Demeter blinked, she wouldn't have been surprised if they simply disappeared.

"Don't look so scared, Demeter," Mistoffelees said, smiling his usual jovial smile. "We're not going to hurt you. Maybe Bombalurina got you a little nervous."

"A little?" Demeter chirped.

"I'm sorry, Dem," Bombalurina said, taking in a sharp breath to try and calm her excitement. "But this has definitely never happened before."

"What hasn't?" Demeter asked, looking over to the other two.

"Everything!" Mistoffelees said. "In all my years of living, I've never come across so many of us in one place before."

Demeter was quiet for a moment, not wanting to believe it. She turned to Bombalurina, and she nodded confirmation. Demeter looked Mistoffelees over. "You're both Jellicles…" she said in an awed voice.

Cassandra nodded. "Mistoffelees has an eye for these kinds of things. He's a lot older than he looks, Jellicle or not. He knew what I was. He knew what you were."

"Well," Bombalurina said, smiling as she turned to her sister. "Not really. Remind me to tell you about Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer."

"They're Jellicles, too?" Demeter exclaimed.

"No," Mistoffelees said dryly. "Just better at the 'smash and grab' than the 'sneak and spy.' But that doesn't matter." He was apparently embarrassed by whatever Bombalurina was talking about. "We have something we need to talk to you about."

"Okay," Demeter said wearily. Though she had somewhat known these cats for the time she was in this tribe, she felt like she was talking to complete strangers.

"You're kittens," Cassandra finished. Demeter thought the queen had lost her previous refinement. It seemed to her that her usual aloofness was set aside in order to challenge the gold queen, which made her feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh," Demeter muttered.

Bombalurina stepped closer to her sister. "You think there's something wrong with them?" she asked, more defensive than Demeter expected her to be.

"Well, no," Cassandra said. "It's just that from what you've told us about your lives, and what we know from ours, we're just a little confused."

"What do you mean?" Bombalurina asked.

"Well," Mistoffelees said. "We know that _we're _Jellicles," he referred to Cassandra and himself.

"What we want to know is," Cassandra finished. "What the hell are the two of you?"


	6. Music and Bittersweet Moments

**Chapter 6 – Music and Bittersweet Moments**

Demeter looked longingly to the junkyard, wanting to run over to her den, where she knew she'd be safe, and hide behind her mate, who would keep her protected. There, she could rest, and not have to think about anything until the next morning. Maybe she could even convince Munkustrap to stay in for the day and they could just rest together, as cats were meant to do.

Then she turned to the scene before, where Mistoffelees was holding Bombalurina back as he was between the red queen and the Abyssinian. Bombalurina was trying to push Mistoffelees aside, and Cassandra was hissing at the red queen. She knew her sister was holding herself back. While she could easily physically overtake Mistoffelees, she was no match for his magical powers.

Things had erupted after Cassandra asked her question. Of course, the amount of hostility in her voice at the question made Bombalurina go on the defensive immediately. What was worse was the suggestion there was something _wrong_ with her sister's kittens. But Mistoffelees tried to smooth things over with an adamant, "She didn't mean anything by it!" He went on to explain that a true Jellicle cat shouldn't be able to get pregnant by a non-Jellicle.

Bombalurina screamed, "Don't you think we know that?" and continued to tell them off by giving examples of their lives, and saying that they didn't just make things like that up. While Demeter didn't like the implication that they were just using the name for some sick reason, she also didn't like the suggestion that they weren't Jellicles. They had _suffered_ for that title, and a title they didn't even want! No one should even question them if they knew what it entailed. And while Demeter wasn't in a mood to fight, she also didn't deem Cassandra too highly at the moment.

This squabbling back and forth eventually broke down into the angry posturing Bombalurina was demonstrating, and no intelligible argument could be heard after that. Though, there were words slung back and forth that a queen should never utter…

Mistoffelees looked helplessly to Demeter. "Would you _please_ help?"

"Bomba," Demeter said calmly. "We don't have time for this. We need to find out what's going on." The words seemed to have their effect, as the red queen finally groaned and pushed away from the black and white, walking over to her sister and stepping in front of her protectively. The gold queen then turned her attentions to Mistoffelees. "You know, Munkustrap wouldn't be too happy knowing you're upsetting his mate, what's more in my condition, and frankly, I don't know if I'm in a mood to keep this from him."

"There's no need to threaten us, Demeter," Mistoffelees sighed. "We just all…have a lot of history we need to sort out about one another."

"I'll say," Cassandra said darkly, staring at Demeter.

"Come on…" Mistoffelees tried to keep between the queens as he pointed out places for them to sit. They were in a small circle, made larger only by the deliberate distance the tuxedoed tom put between them, and then he went to the middle. Out of nothing, a fire began, making Demeter start, and Bombalurina gasp in surprise. Cassandra seemed used to it. "We have a lot of ground to cover, and not a lot of night left. And since we're all on _such great terms_ here, I think I should do the talking." He gave Cassandra a look. She shrugged, leaning back and looking up to the stars, ready to completely tune out everything that was about to be said.

"Dem," he began. Demeter hardly knew when he got on familiar enough terms with her to refer to her as simply 'Dem', but she tried not to react too upset. "Now I'm not sure if it's happened before, but as far as I know, there's never been a Jellicle, non-Jellicle fertilization take place. And as far as I know…"

"We know, we know," Demeter said, waving her paw in dismissal. "Munkustrap is not Jellicle. Does that really make me so unique and special? Or the kittens? I mean, Bomba and I don't even know who our father is! Who's to say he was a Jellicle? How long could you two possibly have lived to make this assessment by?"

The two cats looked sideways to each other. Bombalurina chuckled. "What, don't tell me what you said during the ball was true! The Sphinx?"

"Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration," Cassandra assured them, turning her attention back onto them and smiling mysteriously. "But we Abby's are an ancient breed." Mistoffelees nudged Cassandra to make her be quiet. He then turned to the two queens and told them just how old he was. Older than Cassandra, and still he looked incredibly young.

Demeter and Bombalurina looked at each other. Then back at the Jellicles before them. The gold queen had the sudden feeling she had no right to complain about their own hardships. Everyone was silent. Finally, Bombalurina got up the nerve. "How are you older than us, and look so young?"

"How is _she_ with kittens right now?" Cassandra countered.

"Who knows anything anymore?" Mistoffelees finished, running his paws through his fur. "Look, I'm really glad to be speaking to you now. You two were so distant from the others before, I didn't know what to do with you. It was hard enough tracking Cassandra down. I thought you would leave before I got up the nerve to talk to you."

"How did you know?" Demeter asked.

"I can't explain it," he said, smiling. "Just call it part of my magic, I guess." He flickered the fire for effect. "And when I get that feeling, I start trying to get closer to the cats, hearing how they speak, seeing how they lie. Yes, I _see_ how they lie. There are so many signs there that other cats don't realize. We aren't usually creatures that need to lie, so when one does, it can be obvious if you know what you're looking for. But it's the refined lying, I suppose, that is another flag."

"I must be really tired," Bombalurina muttered. "Because that made sense."

"When it all comes down to it," Mistoffelees continued, "it's nice to have someone in the same predicament you are. You can help each other."

"Well," Cassandra shrugged. "We're not necessarily in the same predicament. They're different from us somehow."

"He's different from you," Bombalurina said defensively as she pointed to Mistoffelees. "So get off it."

"Look," Demeter intervened. "I'm really am tired, and I just got in a fight with Munkustrap a few days ago because of all this. I'd really like to avoid another day of thinking up another lie to explain my absence tonight."

Mistoffelees smiled gently. "I'd like to talk to you guys again. There's so much we don't know about each other. I think we can really help each other. _IF _we get along!" He looked to Cassandra, who raised her eyebrows to the tom. But instead of picking a fight, she bowed her head in defeat.

That night, Demeter wearily crawled back into her den, where she was happy to see Munkustrap still asleep. She curled up next to him, to which he opened his eyes momentarily and took note of her sudden movement. He gave her a questioning look, but she assuaged his fears by giving him a quick lick on the nose, and cuddling up closer to him, purring. The two fell straight to sleep.

----------

Bombalurina looked Munkustrap over like he was insane. "What are you _doing_?" The silver tom was rushing about, playing with the tom kittens, jumping up to the highest heights, and making a show of jumping effortlessly back down. He then frowned when Tumblebrutus descended the same length with a back flip.

Demeter smiled as she sat next to her sister. "He's excited that Jenny gave him the okay to get back to his normal activities."

"He's going to re-injure himself," Bombalurina laughed. The silver tom was now crouched down in stalking mode, as an unsuspecting Rum Tum Tugger came into the area. "Do you think I should warn him?"

"AH!"

"Whoops, too late!" Demeter giggled along with her sister as they watched the two toms now getting into a scuffle. It was even more amusing, considering how Tugger almost never got into scuffles. As the Maine Coon yelled at the other tom about acting more grown up now that he was going to have kittens, instead of less grown up, Demeter nudged her sister. The two queens turned their attention to a black and white cat in the distance, all by himself, working on something. Demeter nodded her head towards that cat, and the sisters got up and slipped away just as Munkustrap grabbed the Maine Coon's tail and pulled him down to the ground, where Tumblebrutus, Plato, and Pouncival dog piled on him. Or cat piled…

Demeter looked down to the cat she hadn't seen in a few days. He was completely engrossed in his task. "Mistoffelees?" The cat jumped, and the item in his hand began to crumble to pieces. The tom groaned, then put down the item, and looked up to the two sisters. "Sorry," Demeter apologized.

"It's alright," he sighed, dusting off his fur. "How may I help you two lovely queens?"

"We haven't seen you in a while," Bombalurina explained. "We decided we shouldn't be awkward with you and instead be worried about you. We do, after all, know what it's like to be…what we are. Even if you guys don't think so."

Mistoffelees smiled an uneasy smile as the two queens sat down next to him. "I'm sorry about Cassandra. She's just upset, and very confused. I talked with her about the other night, and she'll act better once she becomes accustomed to the idea. That is, if you two will be easy on her, as well." When he said the 'you two,' he was mainly looking to Bombalurina.

"Yeah, yeah," said the queen. "What were you working on, anyways?"

"It's something I found in the junkyard," he explained, picking up the item. "I know it doesn't look like it now, but it's a music box." He was right. The item looked like a bunch of objects slapped together in haste, held together by nothing but its own will. "I'm fixing it for Victoria," he explained.

"Why work your paws to the bone for it?" Demeter asked, gingerly taking the so-called music box in her paws and looking it over. "You can conjure things, can't you?"

"Well, yes. But I want this to last."

"Magic doesn't last?" Bombalurina asked.

"No," Mistoffelees said sadly. "It needs its conjurer there to keep it living. Otherwise, it quickly fades into nothing. Really, magic isn't some great thing as everyone else thinks it is. It can't fix anything. It can't solve anything. It just is what it is for as long as it exists, which is never very long. So you have to cherish it while you can."

All three cats went silent. For once, Demeter saw Mistoffelees look truly saddened. "I see," she said softly. "You're making it for Victoria to remember you when you leave."

"It's something tangible," Mistoffelees reasoned. "This bond we have…it isn't like the one she has with Plato. I'm not her mate. It isn't like the bond she has with Jemima, her best friend. Or even for her sister, Etcetera. What we have…is something that's unbreakable. I think…when I leave…she just might come undone."

"Then don't leave!" Demeter found herself saying. Both cats looked at her. "We can make it here! Look at how many Jellicles we have here! And what with everything happening.." she absentmindedly put her paw on her stomach. "Who says we can't have a _real_ Jellicle Tribe?"

"Demeter…" Bombalurina began, but upon seeing the hopeful look on her sister's face, fell silent.

"If it was only so simple, Dem." Then the black and white went quiet. Both queens turned to see Pouncival running towards them, followed by Plato and Tumblebrutus.

"He's insane!" Pouncival said with delight. The cats raced past the three. Then a flash of silver and black flew by, before stopping, turning, and rushing towards Bombalurina. Before anyone could react, Munkustrap had completely knocked the red queen over, and was now sitting on her stomach.

"Munkustrap!" Demeter squeaked.

But the tom grinned kittenishly. "That's what she gets for calling me all those nick names." Mistoffelees tried to stifle his laughter. Demeter watched her sister with a crooked smile, and the red queen…well, she didn't like to be made a fool of in front of her sister.

Munkustrap feigned a pained limp after Bombalurina was done with him.

-----------

That night, Munkustrap went back to his nightly patrols. But he didn't take to them like normal. Leaving Demeter suddenly became harder for him. He stood in front of their den, with his arms wrapped around her, holding her close, and purring just for her, every once in a while kissing Demeter on the top of her head, since he was generally a little more than a head taller than her.

Demeter kept her face buried in his fur, trying not to think what a last goodbye would be like with him. He was so dead set on making sure she knew he loved her before he left on his first patrol for the first time after finding out he was going to be a father, that it was already breaking her heart.

"I should go," he said, smiling down to his mate.

"No," she said, pulling him close for once. "Just a while longer." She knew that must have confused him. The only cat she was ever clingy with was her sister. But he didn't protest. In fact, his purring deepened, making her smile.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" he asked, as she listened the rumblings of his voice through his chest. With the purring combined, Demeter thought she would be lulled to sleep right there.

"I'm going to do some things with Bomba," she said.

"Like always."

"You shouldn't mind so much," she said, yawning. "She's always kept me safe. She's the one thing that's remained constant in my life."

"Well," Munkustrap said, pushing her away just enough that he could lift up her chin and make her look him in the eye. "Now you have me, and I'll be just as constant." Demeter looked down, not able to answer. "Ah, corny, I know." he chuckled.

"Yeah," she said absentmindedly, which sparked a playful nudge and a '_you didn't have to agree with me_' look from the silver tabby. Eventually, the two separated, and Demeter watched him as he ran off to go perform sentinel duties for the tribe.

"Ugh," came a voice from behind her. Demeter turned to see Bombalurina come up. "I told you that nausea came from somewhere else."

Demeter rolled her eyes. "I don't care," she said defiantly. "I think it's sweet, and I need a few sweet moments." Though she knew she wasn't savoring the sweet; she was grimacing from the bittersweet.

"Come on. They're waiting for us." Bombalurina led the way to the back fence that would now become all too familiar, and through the field that they would soon be able to navigate with their eyes closed. They met the two cats they would become very close with, and sat around a fire that no longer surprised them upon its birth.

For now, they were just excited. They had never met another Jellicle before, aside from their mother. Years of keeping to themselves, and now to maybe figure out something about what they would otherwise consider a curse upon them. Even the thought of fighting for the idea of being a Jellicle was joyfully anticipated.

Mistoffelees stood up, smiling at the three queens before him. "Now," he said, happy they were all at least pretending to get along. "We have a lot of years to go through, and a lot of questions to answer. But now maybe this can be a little more tolerable for us, even if just for the short while that we're together…"

* * *

_A/N: So, who would like a cookie? Yes? You would? I just thought I'd take a moment and ask for reviews. They're nice to get, as long as they're not flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome... Nerve-wracking, but welcomed. -lays out a plate of cookies for those who review, and give extra special ones to those who have already reviewed, and leaves the giant cake in the corner for Puddycat, a constant reviewer- And I never knew '_kittenishly_' was an actual word until I used it for this chapter...  
_


	7. Blasphemy in Effigy

_A/N: This was a later update than I intended. I have kitten-sitting duties, and that takes up alot of my usual writing time. As if it wasn't hard enough getting through writer's block -sigh-. Thank you all for your reviews! I expected 2! I'm happy! And would be happy if it continued! -smile-_**  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 7 – Blasphemy in Effigy**

Demeter was resting against her sister, purring softly. Mistoffelees was lying down on his back, his paws stretching up to the sky, pawing at the stars as though they were just out of reach. Cassandra was lying on one side, propped up on one elbow, looking elegant as her tail swished up and down. The fire crackled in the middle, creating shadows on each cat's face, making it hard to read their expressions.

"Why Munkustrap?" Cassandra asked, staring hard at Demeter.

"Why?" Demeter echoed, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Cassandra began, "It just seemed you gravitated right towards him. I mean, it's not difficult to see why." Demeter felt the growl in her throat. "I _mean_ that he's pretty important in the tribe..."

"Among other meanings," Bombalurina smiled, nudging her sister. "Admit it." Both queens glared at the red queen. So she dutifully changed the subject. "Oh, come on, Cassie. Don't you have something you do when you get into a tribe to ensure your stay?"

Cassandra growled to herself, licking her paw. She didn't like that Bombalurina had begun calling her by her nick-name. Mistoffelees got up and looked over to the darker queen. "You're not going to tell them?" No answer. He then turned to the sisters. "Well, when I join a tribe, I don't go through any elaborate schemes. I'm just...magnetic."

Silence.

"You mean, literally?" Bombalurina asked. "If I took my collar off, would it be pulled towards you?" she smiled.

"No," he frowned. "My personality! I'm just very friendly."

"Aha!" Bombalurina said, sitting up straight, causing Demeter to fall to the side. "So you befriend a lot of the cats! Mostly the kittens, I bet. Oh, and I bet you use your magic to show off, and make them like you. Well, maybe not all of them. I didn't know too much about your magical powers before the Jellicle ball, but…" Bombalurina drifted on her theory, but the blush from Mistoffelees proved her point. "See? You do have a scheme!" By now, Demeter had lifted herself up and was staring daggers at her sister for making her topple over.

"You are all crazy." All eyes turned to Cassandra. "You are so busy forging relationships that are going to hurt more in the end. Why? Wouldn't you rather remain aloof? Stay away from others? You have your tribe and you protect yourself at the same time."

"You haven't even done that," Demeter said, astonished at what she was hearing.

"You have Alonzo!" Bombalurina pointed out.

"About as much as he has any other queen he comes across," Cassandra corrected. "We have our relationship, but we have our space. He has other queens to turn to, to flirt with. And the best thing is, he won't even miss me when I'm gone."

"I doubt that," Mistoffelees said. "He's fonder of you than you think." Cassandra looked uneasy. "And besides…you would go crazy if you _really_ spent your time alone. You don't have to tell us that just because you think it would be easier on you. It's never easy, Cassie."

"Yeah," Bombalurina said sadly. "No matter how many times you tell yourself that. You try to disconnect, and you hurt yourself. You try to be close, and you hurt yourself and _someone else_. We just keep…hurting."

Cassandra tried to smile. "He won't miss me. I'll make sure of it." The others looked to one another, but she said nothing more on the subject.

------------

It was a two weeks until they would meet again. It was both a relief and an aggravation that they weren't speaking to one another. Something always seemed to come up between the four of them. Bombalurina had a date with Tugger, and didn't think it smart to pass it up. Cassandra was feeling ill, probably from the anxiety of having to now balance her two lives with a "support group". Mistoffelees had prior engagement with his kitten friends, as he entertained them with his seemingly clumsy magic. And Demeter…well, her cancellation of talk by the fireside was often the same reason…

With her Jellicle companions - including her sister - gone, she walked about the junkyard either alone or in conversation with someone about the kittens. She took note of how many times a day someone asked her, "How are you feeling?" or "You look wonderful." At one point, she even got a, "Have you gained weight?" from Pouncival, which earned him a quick smack on the head from Skimbleshanks.

But it was true. Her body was beginning to round out in subtle ways, tell tale signs of the kittens growing within her. After getting slightly self conscious of what the young tom had said, she went to Jennyanydots, who assured her it was perfectly normal. They then got into a discussion about everyone around her, and how they were treating her. "That's normal too, dear," Jennyanydots smiled. "They start treating you like a ticking time bomb. It'll calm down after a while. They mean well."

"Yeah," Demeter sighed. "And I'm sure Munku does, too. He tells me the most ridiculous things _not_ to do! No heavy lifting, no climbing, no…walking after midnight, for some reason. What is he frightened of? Vampires?"

"He worries," the Gumbie Cat smiled. "When I was pregnant with Electra and Etcetera, Skimbleshanks went through all these lengths to get me to sleep all the time. He wanted me to conserve my energy."

"Don't you sleep all the time anyway?"

"Only until the day is done," the queen said. She didn't look offended, but the sniff from the Gumbie Cat told her to change subjects.

"Does it even matter?" Demeter asked. "I'm sleepy enough as it is. That's…normal too, right?"

"Yes, dear, you're perfectly normal."

'I wish I was,' Demeter thought, but smiled for the Gumbie Cat. "I should go. I think I'm going to go take a cat nap."

"Alright dear." Jennyanydots saw her off, as the gold queen began to walk back to her den. She looked suddenly to her right when she thought she saw something watching her. There was nothing there. She wasn't sure if she should write it off as just her imagination. Uneasy, she continued on her way.

----------

"You look good," Mistoffelees noted as they sat by the fire, looking Demeter over and smiling kindly. "You have that motherly glow about you."

"Its annoyance," Demeter corrected. "At everyone making such a fuss over me, and telling me things like that."

"Okay," Mistoffelees said warily. To her sister, he whispered, "Mood swings already?"

"I heard that," Demeter growled. Cassandra laughed lightly. Demeter scoffed when she saw Bombalurina nod. She shoved her sister playfully, to which the red queen shoved back, and they ended up in a small brawl. Cassandra said nothing, but watched in amazement to see who would win, and Mistoffelees tried to yell over the two faux cat fighting queens that Demeter shouldn't be 'fighting' in her condition. After a while, the two sisters ended up on their backs, panting from "fight".

"Was it a tie?" Cassandra asked.

"I don't know," Mistoffelees shrugged.

Demeter looked up at the stars above her as she caught her breath. "Why do we never look at the stars anymore?"

"The moon gets in the way," Mistoffelees explained. "We hold the moon in reverence. We can't help it."

"Why?" Demeter asked.

"Oh," Mistoffelees held his head. "I hate that question. Out of all the questions, it's the most difficult to answer."

Demeter grinned. "How many years did it take you to figure that out?"

"I think just talking to any kitten should make someone realize that."

"What I meant to say was," Demeter pressed on, still looking up to the stars. "Is why do we revere the Jellicle moon when it's cursed us? I can't remember how many times I stood, glaring at the moon, wanting to scream at it, and couldn't, because I felt like it was…I don't know how to describe it."

"Blasphemous?" Cassandra offered.

"Yes! That!"

"So you've never done that because you felt you would be cursing the Everlasting Cat?" Cassandra asked. "What a curious queen you are."

"I never said I hadn't done it," she corrected. "I just had to be angry enough."

"Well," Bombalurina said, pawing at the stars as she had seen Mistoffelees do many times. "I vote we stop looking up to the Everlasting Cat." All the cats shot up from whatever position they were in and turned to Bombalurina, who was suddenly frazzled by the amount of attention she was getting. "It was a suggestion! I would never hold anyone to that! Not even myself…"

"Yeah," Mistoffelees said, patting down the sudden sparkles in his coat. "I don't know how I could take that. But…you have an interesting point." Mistoffelees stood up and looked up to the moon, holding a paw out to it. "Instead of cursing the moon whenever we feel like we've been abandoned…why don't we instead…" He turned, so the moon was hitting his backside, and he was now looking to a sky dotted with its own sparkles, "Pray to the stars?"

Demeter still felt uneasy about that. She didn't think it good to anger whatever power the Jellicle moon had, and it's supposed diety, the Everlasting Cat. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What good has praying to the moon done for any of us?" He asked.

"It's not like he ever listens," Bombalurina said, stirring excitedly in her place.

"And there's only one of it," Cassandra agreed. "There are so many stars. Maybe…you never know."

Demeter thought this conversation had gone insane the moment she brought up anything religious. As a Jellicle, she felt strongly bound to the moon. But the idea of sharing some of that faith to the stars…was almost relieving. "Alright."

The cats went quiet as they stared up at the dotted night sky. But she couldn't think of anything to pray for. Her mind was numb from every appearance she had to keep up, and every lie she had to remember. She supposed when the time came, she could pray to the them, now that she had her fellow Jellicles to back her up.

"Stupid moon." Everyone looked to Bombalurina, eyes wide. "Oh, I've always wanted to say that out loud. Look at it! Looking down on us like that…Everyone celebrates the Jellicle moon like it's something wonderful! It's just a reminder, telling us we have nothing!" She hissed at the moon just for show.

"Yeah," Demeter agreed, feeling petrified to finally get something off her chest. "And the Everlasting Cat? What's that all about? I swear, the next time I hear someone talk about him as though he were some great savior or god, I'll…"

Cassandra huffed, as the others heard the sound of excitement in her voice, not odd for other cats, but definitely odd for her. "He's never been there when we needed him!"

"He always left us alone," Bombalurina said, getting up, as the others slowly followed. "And we can't do anything about it!" She found herself directing her aim at Mistoffelees.

"Well, don't yell at me!" He defended. "Yell at that!" He redirected her to the moon. "Pretend it's the Jellicle Moon. Tell it off while you don't have to be afraid of anyone listening."

Demeter looked to her sister, who smiled. It was an idea. Demeter encouraged her sister to go first. "Alright," said the red queen, stepping past the fire so that the warmth of it remained on her back. "You promised us a different Jellicle life! What if we're not happy with the ones we have now? I'm tired of having a million broken hearts just to save myself! What kind of life is that?"

"You claim you love us," Cassandra joined in, hardly as loud as Bombalurina was, but with more hiss to her words, "But we're endlessly masquerading to the ones we pretend we trust! How are we supposed to follow something that's so intangible?"

"But it's the only thing that's there that we can truly have for our entire lives," Mistoffelees pointed out.

"What a way to make someone love you," Demeter said to the moon. "I just wanted to be normal! I don't want to leave anymore!" They were covered in its glow as though it were embracing them. But Demeter felt like it was trapping them, instead. It was reminding them that they were forever followed by its light, and it would be watching them for as long as their lives lasted, and if they somehow received another Jellicle life, it would follow them then, as well.

Demeter suddenly felt dizzy, and toppled backwards. Mistoffelees quickly caught her before she fell back into the fire, and the other two queens raced to her side. "I'm fine," Demeter said quickly, her eyes wide in fright. "No, I'm fine, really…the blood rushed to my head or something." Her heart was racing.

"We'll finish this another night," Bombalurina promised.

"No!" Demeter said quickly. She didn't know why, but she almost felt like that was punishment for her sacrilege. "I'm fine. I don't think…I want to do that anymore."

The others were quiet. Cassandra stepped up to the queen. "How about a moonless night?"

The others laughed. Demeter laughed nervously in return. They then looked up to the stars again. It had never occurred to them before to pray to a lesser god. The moon always seemed to overshadow the stars before. But now, the moon was nothing in comparison to the multitude of stars.

_She watched her mother uneasily as she looked up to the sky. It looked like her heart was breaking. Demeter could understand. She and her sister felt it to. It was the night of the Jellicle Moon. Not their first, but certainly a memorable one. They had no tribe at the time, and they could hear the invitation to the Jellicle Ball from some tribe that pretended they, too, were Jellicles. Whatever magic that tribe had that could grant them rebirth was off limits to them. _

_They had no proof of this. There was no reason to believe it outside of their own minds. So they lay in wait, tormented by the moon as it taunted them, dared them to come out and reveal themselves, only to be passed up for the chance to journey to the Heaviside. _

_It wasn't easy ignoring the call. For a normal cat, they missed the fun and games. For a Jellicle, they felt like they were having their hearts ripped out. "Let's go," Bombalurina said, jumping up and down. She had to do something to get that energy out._

"_No," their mother said. "A tribe would shun us. Or worse. We don't even know them. Come, my kittens, let's go to sleep." _

_It should have felt a blessing for them when that night was over. But instead, they felt defeated. It was the first time Demeter felt abandoned, even though all her family was right there._

She sat alone, looking up at the stars. In her mind, she was formulating a plan for how to pray to the stars without the moon knowing. It was absolute insanity, but it kept her occupied. She didn't want to have to think of anything. Not what she was, not all her troubles, not her kittens, not even…

"Dem!"

…her mate...

"Dem." The queen turned to see Munkustrap coming up to her. "What are you doing up here?" She was on top of Munkustrap's favorite watch point that he used a lot during the day, when the other toms were supposed to be guarding the tribe's territory. It would otherwise be ridiculous to think he wouldn't find her there, but for the fact that he was supposed to be guarding the rest of the junkyard. "You're here all alone. And it's a pretty rough climb. You sure you should be up here?"

His face was full of concern, but it hardly mattered to her at the time. "I just wanted to be alone," she replied curtly, looking up to the sky again, hoping he would get the drift.

"What's wrong?" Nope…it was too much to hope he would leave her alone even for one moment. "Are any of the other cats bothering you?"

'_YOU'RE_ bothering me,' she thought to herself. "No, why?"

"Oh," he said. Unfortunately for her, he sat down next to her. "I was a little worried. Tantomile and Coricopat seem very interested in you lately, and that's never a good sign."

Demeter's ears perked up in attention, and she momentarily pushed aside the hostility she felt for her mate and looked over to him. "How do you mean?"

"They've been asking me how you're doing," he said, sitting straight and trying to make use of his observation point, though it was hard to see anything in the dark. "So I started keeping an eye out for them. They've been watching you. And I don't trust it."

"I don't either," Demeter admitted, frowning in thought. How had she missed that? She was getting sloppy in her craftiness. But again, she had never had quite so much attention put on her that wasn't bad attention. In any other circumstance, she would be gone by now. "Have you talked to them about it?"

"About what?" Munkustrap shrugged. "I can't very well go up to them and tell them to stop looking at my mate on the grounds that they creep me out."

Demeter twitched an ear. Perhaps it was better he hadn't confronted them. They were never _normal_ cats, and with this new information about their sudden interest in her, she feared that they somehow knew what she was. She had to deal with it herself. "That's fine, Munku. I'm sure it's nothing. They're probably just wondering what the kits are going to be."

"That doesn't make me feel any more comfortable, either." Demeter laughed it off. She then looked up to the moon again. "What _are_ you doing up here, anyway? Trying to have a conversation with the Everlasting Cat?" Her tail twitched at the end.

"Munku…darling…a queen needs to think about things, too." She was again annoyed by the tom's presence, whether he gave her valuable information or not. But she didn't need to insult him to make him go away. She had the perfect excuse come to her in the form of a sudden urge.

"Uh…Munku?" she turned and gave him a pout.

He gave her a look. "You want something, Dem?"

"You know how you say you'll do anything for me now that I'm with kittens? Well, do you know where you could get rabbit with onion sauce?" Munkustrap looked at her, surprised.

"Have you ever even _had_ rabbit?"

"Mm, I think once with Tugger, when he refused it because there wasn't any fi—OH! You know what else sounds good? Cream. In a dish; it's yucky in a bowl. Oh, and throw in some caviar. And mouse cakes…Jenny makes those right? With salmon paste on top of it! Well, nix the cream, actually. Instead, I want--"

"HOLD ON!" Munkustrap said, a silly grin on his face as he tried to remember all that. "Let me just get you down from here and on sturdier ground, then I'll attend to your cravings."

Demeter continued to change the list as she walked down with the silver tabby helping her. By the end of the night, and the multitudes of changes to her diet list, Demeter could have given Tugger a run for his money on the title of having "disobliging ways," were it not for the excuse of her pregnancy.


	8. Truth and Consequences

**Chapter 8 – Truth and Consequences**

The four Jellicles sat in their meeting space. Mistoffelees had created his usual fire, but this time, his concentration was solely on the flames rather than the queens with him. "No wonder he doesn't have a mate," Bombalurina whispered to Demeter. The gold queen just smiled, her paw on her small belly. She hated to admit that her appetite was really starting to expand, and she finally saw what Bustober Jones found so delicious in all the foods he'd boasted about eating in the past.

"What are you up to, Misto?" Bombalurina asked. He answered her with his paws slowly rising, eyes still on the fire. Demeter was scared he would damage his eyes staring at the flames. But she also didn't want to interrupt what the black and white was doing. The last time anyone had interrupted him with the fire, his face ended up black with soot, and Bombalurina had 'electrified' fur for about three days. She shocked everyone she came in contact with, and was spewing tiny electric sparks every two seconds, causing the fur at that point to puff out. Mistoffelees claimed it was an aftershock of the spell being interrupted, but seeing as the other two queens had no symptoms, Bombalurina assumed otherwise.

The gold queen's thoughts were interrupted when he moved his paws again, moving it in a circular formation. A barrier seemed to form around the fire, and it soon lost its flame-like composition and became a literal _ball of fire_. He smiled widely, and looked ready to toss back his head and laugh maniacally, but resisted. He then began distorting the shape of the fire to his delight.

"I didn't think you knew magic _that_ _well_," Demeter commented, pulling her feet under her body, as not to be burned by any stray flame that might come her way.

"We all have out acts to play out," Mistoffelees said as he moved his paws to make the fire take the shape of a moth. "I really don't look old enough to be that powerful, now do I?"

"I wonder how powerful you really are, Mistoffelees," Cassandra admitted, with a soft smile. She watched intently as the moth turned into a sunflower.

"There's only so far you can get," Mistoffelees explained, as he sculpted the sunflower into a lily. "And then you reach a plateau. It's both good and bad. Keeps you humble, but you get very bored. If I wanted to increase my magical aptitude in another subject…" He clapped his hands together and the lily was crushed, the fire suddenly gone, with nothing left but embers. "I would have to give up something I've learned to have energy I set aside for that magic, and use it for new magic." He pulled his hands apart, and the fire reappeared as a mirror image of Cassandra.

The queen jerked in surprise, and the fire image did the same. The Abyssinian spoke, the lips of the fire twin mimicking her, "Please don't do that, it freaks me out." The fur rising on Cassandra and her fire counterpart's back were telling signs of her discomfort.

"Alright," he said, dispelling the enchantment, so the fire would return to what fire should normally look like. But he quickly worked it back to make the image of a queen they were all familiar with, dancing a solo dance they had all seen before. All the cats stared in amazement, including the conjurer himself.

"I guess we know what's on your mind," Bombalurina remarked. "Or _who_, I should say." Mistoffelees dispelled the enchantment, and left it that way. He laughed nervously.

"I…didn't mean to do that," he said, blushing under his fur. "I didn't _know_ I could do that."

"How is the music box coming?" Demeter asked.

"Oh," he seemed grateful for the change of subject. "I managed to get it to stop falling apart," he announced proudly.

"A wonderful accomplishment," Cassandra agreed. Bombalurina smiled. Then everything went quiet. They all seemed lost in their own thoughts.

"Mistoffelees," Demeter asked softly. "I was wondering about some of the cats in the junkyard…and their…status as 'normal cats', or lack thereof…"

"So formal," Bombalurina nudged her sister.

"Are you talking about Old Deuteronomy?" Mistoffelees said knowingly, nodding his head, as though he expected her to ask this question.

Demeter and Bombalurina jumped. "You mean," said the red queen, "he IS a Jellicle?"

Mistoffelees looked cornered. "Oh…you _didn't_ know. Now I don't mean to say if he is or if he isn't. I really have no idea. I barely get to speak with him. And what with him rarely coming to the junkyard anymore…" He shrugged. "To be honest, I don't know if I'm seeing something there that I _want_ to see, or not."

"He's been here a long time," Cassandra reminded him. "No Jellicle would subject themselves to the pressures of being found out. Not after everything we've gone through…all the scars we carry from the past."

"I'm getting to the point that I don't know what to think anymore. The more I find out, the more confused I get." He shook his head.

Demeter sighed. "Oh…I would have liked to know."

"Me too," agreed Mistoffelees. "But…then who were you talking about?"

"Coricopat and Tantomile," she said, off hand. Now she had her mind set on trying to formulate a plan to get to the vicarage wall. It would be difficult with Munkustrap always wanting someone with her, and even more difficult, seeing as how hardly anyone ever goes to see Old Deuteronomy alone without one of his offspring there. And it was a pretty long walk. There were a lot of dangers on the way a queen like her could be susceptible to…

"Coricopat and Tantomile," Mistoffelees echoed. "Those two…there's something odd about them, but I don't think _that_ is it. I talk to them a lot, but it's very difficult to get 'close' with them. I'm not even sure they're magical. But you're right, they _are_ weird." He smiled. "Why do you want to know?"

"No reason," Demeter said, shrugging it off. She avoided her sister's questioning look. She didn't tell Bombalurina about the two cats following her around, looking at her suspiciously. She wanted to figure this out on her own, without causing too much alarm. There were too many questions she had, and for some reason, though her guard was up, she felt they knew something.

If she could only ask…

--------------

_She wasn't supposed to get that involved. Now she was trapped in a relationship. She supposed it was bad to say one was _trapped_ in a relationship, but this is how cats get hurt. And she was certain she would be causing all of the pain this time. _

_As she snuck back into the den with the sleeping tom, she tried to assess her feelings. Did she feel anything towards the silver tabby curled up in the corner? 'No,' she answered herself quickly. It was better that way. No feelings, and at least she would save _herself_ some hurt._

_The tabby stirred, and then his green eyes opened to slits as he looked up at the queen, who was still standing at the entryway. "Why'dyou leave?" He mumbled groggily._

_Her throat tightened up on her. She didn't realize he had woken up before and found her gone. "I…always make it a habit to watch the sunrise," she answered mechanically. "You were sleeping, and I couldn't bear to wake you." _

_He seemed to consider this very slowly, as the gears in his head were trying to get to work. "I would'na minded," he mumbled, closing his eyes and laying his head back down. _

"_I hope you didn't think badly of me," she whispered. "That couldn't have looked good."_

_He yawned. "I was…a lil' hurt," he muttered._

"_Sorry," she whispered. "Think of it as a bad dream."_

_The corners of his mouth drew up in a smirk. "But you came back." Demeter smiled. She found herself thinking of how cute he was…even if he _was_ a tabby._

_She walked in, laying down beside him, grinning to herself. She admired the striking tabby stripes on his fur. They weren't so bad, now that she thought about it. In fact, on him, they were endearing. _

"_Sunrise?" The tabby suddenly shot up, scaring the poor queen, causing her to jump. "I completely ignored my duties last night," he said._

"_But was it worth it?" Demeter asked. The silver tabby looked to the queen, their eyes meeting. The queen gasped as she felt an intense feeling building up in her as she looked in her new lover's eyes. A feeling she was unfamiliar with. It almost felt like she was falling._

_He smiled warmly. "I think so," he said, teasingly. Demeter had to look away. She couldn't stand that feeling. "It definitely was," he finished, laying back down, and pulling Demeter down with him, holding her close. "Why are you shaking?"_

"_Because I can't stop falling…"_

She hadn't thought of that in a while. She had tried to repress it, but the memory stayed there. It was all so perfect in the eyes of the other cats. Queen meets tom; tom likes queen. They seem the perfect match, and it seemed nothing could rip them apart. They fall madly in love. They announce they want to be mated, though they already jumped that part by 'mating' sooner than they should have. Passion did that to them. And after they were mated, the perfect confession of love begins to grow.

How nice her life seemed in the eyes of others.

Munkustrap ran into the den, causing Demeter to start. She was half asleep. "Names," he said.

Demeter stared. "Huh?"

"We need names for the kittens," he said, almost in a panic. Demeter smiled, looking the tom over, thinking how funny he was. With her tummy now slightly distended, he probably realized there were actual kittens that would be there soon.

"Munku…darling…we have about a month and a half. I think we're okay for now. We don't even know if we're having little toms or queens."

"But…we need names," he said hopelessly. "It's a difficult matter…we should get right on it." Demeter motioned him to come over to her, and he sat by her side, eyes on her stomach, paws hovering over it as though it were injured. Demeter sighed and took his paw and put it on her tummy.

"You can't hurt them. I'll keep them safe, I assure you." She smiled, and he bowed his head, putting his ear to her stomach.

"Do you think they can hear us?" he whispered. Demeter couldn't help but smile. He'd defended the tribe against Pollicles, Macavity, stray cats, humans that were trying to remove the cats from the junkyard, and on several occasions, crows that were picking on the kittens. He would probably stop a moving train from entering with his bare paws if he could. And now, he was scared of unborn kittens.

"Maybe," she shrugged. Munkustrap got up and gave a shaky sigh. "Nervous?"

"No!" he laughed. "A little…a bit…okay, so I'm a little petrified, but I'm okay."

"You know what will make you feel better?" Demeter asked. "For one, the fact that _I'm_ carrying them, and not _you_. And two, since _I'm_ carrying them, then _you_ should go get me some rice pudding. And shrimp, that sounds good!"

Munkustrap groaned. "That's a chore. How will that make me feel better?" She pouted. "I didn't say I wouldn't do it," he smiled, kissing her on the nose. He then left the den, taking one last account of what she wanted, which had changed to cabbage and argentine roast.

Demeter stretched lazily, got up, and walked out the entranceway. Then she took a deep breath. She had some cats she needed to look for.

-----------

The twins were - for lack of a better word - intimidating. They sat on the old pipe, always seemingly alert, even when they were resting. It reminded Demeter vaguely of Macavity, though their alertness was on a different level than was the ginger cat's. She still couldn't help feeling very nervous with what she was about to do.

"Tantomile?" she asked, hoping that it would be easier if she just said one name. Why she chose the queen first when she didn't even like queens, she didn't know. But it didn't matter. Both cats turned to look at her. She knew they had individual personalities somewhere in between the two of them…but perhaps for intensity's purpose, they chose now to act as one.

"Hello, Demeter," Tantomile smiled gently. The queen swallowed hard as the two looked to her. No, it wasn't looking, it was staring. Or was it peering? They were _peering_ straight through her.

"What?" she asked, backing up slightly. "You freak me out when you do that!"

"Sorry," they said in unison. Demeter folded her ears down against her head, and frowned. She wanted to run away, but she needed to ask them something. It was important for her to know why they were watching her. She couldn't be frightened when it was her and her sister's reputation on the line.

"You two," she said, as she tried to make her paws stop shaking. "You've been watching me, haven't you?"

"Yes," they admitted immediately. This set Demeter back. She was expecting them to dodge the question completely. Or at least fumble, as NORMAL cats do. She cleared her throat.

"Oh…okay. Why?" Demeter wished she had at least brought Bombalurina with her. But she figured if this had nothing to do with what she _was_ and was instead about her, she didn't want her sister to find out. Ever since this whole predicament started, she felt more isolated, even with the spotlight shining on her. "Why have you been watching me? It's rather disturbing."

Coricopat and Tantomile looked to each other, then down to the queen before her. "It has to do with your kittens," Coricopat explained. "What you are, what you're not, and what they may be, and may not be."

Demeter instantly got on the defensive. "What?" she asked drolly. "Whether they'll be more or less tabby?"

"We know what you are," Tantomile said. "Though we had not reason to care before. We expected you to have left. But now…we're curious."

Demeter looked between the two cats. "What do you assume that I am?"

"A Jellicle," Tantomile said. Demeter opened her mouth to contend the matter, but the odd queen quickly continued. "I don't mean that of the _Jellicle tribe_, we normal cats. I mean a true Jellicle. The wandering kittens of the Everlasting Cat. Yes, we know what you are."

Demeter looked around nervously, before turning to glare at the cats. "How do you even know about that, let alone guessing what I am?"

"Different aura," Coricopat said offhandedly. "And a keen sense for these things. Different things."

"How much do you know? Why do you care? Are you two ones, also?"

"We've seen it before," Coricopat continued. "We've been burnt by it before. And we have sources of knowledge others don't."

"It's a gift," Tantomile smiled. "A sense of the world different than most cats have. Perhaps if Mistoffelees could focus his energy more on his natural senses than his learned ones, he would have more than just feelings and slight premonitions, and see the world for wanders far beyond what he can _see_ now."

"I didn't come here for a lecture you mean for another cat," Demeter said curtly. "I want answers. Everyone is confused about my kittens, about what's what with them, and I don't want them involved in anything that I can't protect them from. And since you two seem to always know what you're talking about, maybe you can tell me _why the hell we're even having this conversation in the first place_!" She didn't mean to yell, but between the stress of it all, and the peering of the cats before her, she was increasingly uneasy, and felt even more alone than before. "I should have left by now, you're right. But there is something holding me back, and you two know why. I need to know."

"It's complicated," they warned in unison.

"I'm smarted than I look," Demeter pleaded.

The cats looked to one another, then back to the queen. "It begins with genetics," Coricopat said.

"What?"

"A human discovery," he assured her. "As you said before, the difference between a tabby and a calico."

"How do you know anything about what humans know?" Demeter frowned, ready to give up on the two as playing a trick on her.

"We are a witch's cats, after all," Tantomile said. "It would be safe to say that our connection is deeper than most cats have with their humans. We are _familiars_, privy to any information she is. And we've seen it happen before, as has she. Or, at least, she has heard of such tales from witches in her coven, of familiars who come to them, who find permanent homes for themselves because they are linked to their human, and they know of their cats secrets. A cats knowledge of both her and her human's world opens innumerable possibilities to what can be assessed of the otherwise unexplained."

Demeter cleared her throat. Already Tantomile was losing her. "My kittens," she reminded her. "Please?"

"Jellicle traits are rare. It's probably recessive. The normal cat gene is most likely dominant. Which makes it more likely that the gene will not show up, if the two could even mate to begin with. But it's believed that hybrids, over time, have gotten into the gene pool. They, with all technicality, shouldn't be able to breed, but we're dealing with a different magic. And selective breeding, possibly. Humans tend to get involved in cat genetics, and it can be a messy affair, indeed."

"Oh," Demeter muttered. "If I walk around the corner again, and start this conversation over, will you two begin to make sense?"

"To put it simply…" Coricopat said, giving her sister a 'stop trying to sound smart' look. "The chances of your kittens being like you are very slim. Possible, but slim."

"Why would you say that?" Demeter asked.

"Let's assume Munkustrap is completely normal, without any odd mutation that made him grow up any slower, even if it wasn't noticeable by the other cats," Tantomile said again. "That means he inherited genes from his mother side, dominant genes to being a normal cat, rather than his father's side, a Jellicle cat. Assuming this mating is a result of him containing the recessive gene, as that's the only time I can assume that he even could have offspring with you, that gives your offspring a fifty-fifty chance of having a kitten that's a Jellicle, like you. The others may show odd development growing older, but would be like their father."

"You mean to say," Demeter said, trying to cut down to the parts she understood. "If I had two kittens, one might be like me, one might be normal…and I would have to raise a Jellicle cat…?"

"Almost," Coricopat said, obviously surprised Demeter could understand any of his sister's ramblings. "To put it at its most simply," Coricopat said, considering. "Each kitten in and of itself would have a fifty percent chance of being normal." Demeter had to sit down.

She hadn't even thought about what it would be like when the kittens were actually born. She got so caught up in the glamour of it, she hadn't even considered what it would be like if they were Jellicles. Or if they were normals. But the thought of having both? Perhaps she could hide it a bit if they were _all_ like her, but not if it were the other way around.

"Are you alright?" asked the voice of Coricopat. Demeter put up a paw and waved them away.

What would she tell Bombalurina?

Suddenly, she realized her sister might have known all along. In retrospect, each little look to the side at the mention of the kittens, the fact that she wasn't excited about the kittens, the looks she would give Demeter when she spoke of staying… Her sister _refused_ to tell her! She refused to tell her that once the kittens were grown, she would have to leave.

Demeter stood up mechanically and began to walk away from the others. Her mind was reeling from the thoughts, from the pains of the past, from the pain of the future. She wanted to live in the 'now', instead of thinking of her next step. She wanted to enjoy being a cat, just once, without the thought of where she would wander to next. She wanted to believe that the cats around her would still be there. She wanted to pretend there was nothing 'wrong' with her and that she was normal.

Perfect in the eyes of the other cats. Queen meets tom, tom likes queen. _But does queen like tom?_ They seem the perfect match, and it seemed nothing could rip them apart. _Only until it's revealed what she truly is_. They fall madly in love, _or so it would seem_, they announce they want to be mated_, as was her plan for survival_. They already jumped that part by 'mating' sooner than they should have. Passion did that to them. _No, he was the one with the passion. She wasn't even thinking, for once. What forethought went into that? He should have stopped her, knowing how upset she had been. _And after they were mated, the perfect confession of love begins to grow.

_The perfect thing to finally push her over the edge. _

And she couldn't stop falling.


	9. Wandering Kitten

_Author's Note: I just wanted to make sure you all know that flashbacks aren't necessarily all related to one another, as in, they had long enough lives that flashbacks can dart around from different points in their lives, and aren't necesarily chronological, in the normal sense of chronology...is that a word? Anyways, you are all smart. I just thought one was out of left field, but to them, it isn't...yeah...please enjoy!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Wandering Kitten of the Everlasting Cat**

"_Demeter?" Bombalurina asked as they watched their mother disappear into the light of the rising sun. "You know I'm going to take care of you now, right? I'm you're older sister…I'll take good care of you. Let's promise each other that we'll stay together for as long as we live. We're all each other have, right? Demeter? Are you listening to me? Dem?"_

The Rum Tum Tugger was lazing about inside of an old, thrown out bureau, his head hanging out, with his paws up in the air. He didn't look incredibly comfortable, but considering how he didn't bother to adjust his position, he must have been. He heard what sounded like a muffled whine and twitched his ear. 'Oh, great,' he thought. 'Sounds like a queen is upset about something.'

Slowly, he plucked himself from his position and looked out over the junkyard. He saw a blurry form walking slowly towards him and rubbed his eyes. After a few blinks, he realized it was Demeter, carrying on in a slow amble towards his direction. At first Tugger figured that her changing form due to her kittens were causing her to walk so awkwardly, but as she came closer, he noticed the blank look on her face. Different from the normal look of either nervousness or panic on her face, he decided it best to investigate.

He jumped from his drawer and leaned back against the old bureau, waiting for the queen to cross. When she finally made her way to him, he realized something was definitely wrong with her. If there was one thing he knew - aside from how to be deliberately hard to please - it was queens. Others often saw him as nothing but a queen's tom, but he did, on many occasions, deal with a queen's emotions. And upon looking at the gold queen before him, he was suddenly reminded of her sister when she first came to the tribe. Back then, he didn't know he would be close to any of them. So naturally, he barely regarded the situation as anything he needed to be concerned with. Now, as he looked at the queen and remembered the past, he felt a twinge in his stomach.

Surely, something had happened.

"Hey, Dem," he began, sounding as cheerful as he could. She didn't even flicker an ear to show she had heard him. "Is something wrong?" No response. "Dem, what's the matter?" he asked, as he began to follow her. "I know we're not close, but that doesn't mean you can't come to me when something's up. Did you have a fight with Munk? Is something wrong with the kittens?" There was a tiny, helpless whimper from her throat, and nothing else. "The kittens, huh? Look, I should get you back to your den. You shouldn't be--"

He reached out a paw to grab Demeter's, but she pulled away, rather violently, before going back to her mechanical state of walking. "Stop, Dem…" He tried to take her shoulders and, at the very least, steer her in the direction she needed to go in, but she jerked away so violently, together with a whining sound that he had only ever heard from a kitten throwing a fit, that he let go of her. She was stronger than she looked, but he didn't think she could hurt anyone but herself. It was odd, she being so strong and fragile at the same time. He didn't want to be responsible for anything that would harm her or her unborn kittens, even if it meant letting her drift as she was.

So all he could do was follow. Slow, though she was walking, he was afraid to take his eyes off of her, thinking she would disappear the moment he looked away. He had no idea what else to do. What's worse, she was heading out of the safety of the junkyard.

"Tugger!" called a tom's voice. The Maine Coon didn't need to look around to recognize it was Pouncival. "What are you doing?"

"Go get Munk--" Then he rethought that. If she was upset because of him, it would probably hurt her more to call him. "Make that Jenny! Something's wrong with Demeter." Silence. "GO!" A scampering of feet, and the tom was gone. "And hurry," he muttered under his breath.

The queen was now out the junkyard, mumbling something to herself. Tugger went up close to her. "Come on, Dem…snap out of it! You don't want to leave the junkyard right now." He went to stop her, but the sudden swipe of a claw from the queen and violent hiss made the tom back away. She absentmindedly put her paw on her stomach, and kept her eyes staring at nothing, as she began to pick up her pace, stumbling over her own feet.

"…kittens…just…happy…"

Tugger groaned, as the mumbling queen walked on. He could do nothing but follow, listen, and try to understand.

"…happy…"

_They were all so happy. The tiny little kittens from one of the queens they had befriended raced around, each showing their burgeoning personalities with every little movement and squeak they made. Bombalurina lay next to her mate, while Demeter sat alone nearby. She heard the tom say, "You ever want one of those?"_

"_Nah, I don't do kits," Bombalurina said with a tone of finality. Her mate didn't seem too happy with the news, but kept quiet. _

_It was later revealed, however, through the actions of the tom constantly bringing the kits around the two sisters, that he was trying to encourage the red queen to like kittens. Of course, he didn't understand. There was a reason Bombalurina didn't want anything to do with the kittens. It became grossly evident when those little ones quickly became fond of the two sisters. Some even went out of their way during the days to go play with them. And the two sisters never declined a play with the kits. How would it look if they didn't want to play with something as irresistible as a baby? _

_It was, however, those baby features that made it all more heartbreaking. Seeing those bright eyes, that hadn't the chance to lose their baby blue and become their appropriate colors, look up at them with hopes and dreams, and knowing they dash them the moment they were to leave…Knowing every last swirl of their fur pattern by heart, and knowing they would never see them again…and seeing those cute button noses, that became familiar with their smells, and leaving that memory engrained in their brains…it was all too much. _

_They left that tribe, not for fear of being found out, but fear of their own broken hearts. And in the process, they ripped a part of the kits' happiness away along with them._

"Have you found them yet?" Skimbleshanks asked Alonzo, who shook his head and shrugged. "How about Munkustrap, has anyone seen him? And Bombalurina?"

"She's absolutely freaking out," Alonzo said, glad to at least be able to report _something_. "She ran out to look for her as soon as I said something was wrong. Where do you think she could have gone?"

"I don't know," Skimbleshanks said, shaking his head mournfully. "Tugger is not good of a fighter. He can't protect her for long."

"Have a little faith, Skimble," Alonzo chided. But before any more could be said, there was a scream from the junkyard entrance. Both toms immediately raced to the location of the scream. Etcetera and Electra were standing over the Rum Tum Tugger, looking terrified. He was doubled over, holding his stomach.

"Help!" Etcetera yelled, looking around frantically, as Electra kneeled beside the maned tom, looking him over, close to tears. Alonzo knelt down next to Tugger, carefully pushing Electra back. He took a moment to assess the damage to the panting tom. His arm looked as though it had been recently mangled. He was also sporting a fat lip, and a torn ear. He refused to move his paw that was clutching his stomach.

Alonzo felt his body go numb. "What happened?" he asked, eyes wide in shock.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, in obvious pain. "I tried to keep an eye on her, but there was a stray dog."

By then, Skimbleshanks had brought Jennyanydots to her patient. She stared only for a moment, taking in his wounds, before going straight to work. Alonzo had faith in the Gumbie Cat's medicine. Now, he had to worry about Demeter. "Do you know what happened to her?"

"I lost track of her," he said, panting. "There was only one dog…so I know it didn't go after her. But she disappeared on me so quickly after that."

"You did good, Tugger," Alonzo said reassuringly. "Facing a dog by yourself. And to save a queen!"

"Yeah," Tugger whispered, as Alonzo helped Skimbleshanks lift the wounded cat. "I'm a regular…defender of the innocent." He shook his head as they began walking to Jennyanydots' den. "Munk is gunna kill me."

"Or thank you," Alonzo said, as they walked past the sobbing kittens. "For being there for his mate." The maned tom just sighed

------

Bombalurina ran frantically through the streets. She didn't understand where her sister could have possibly gone to. She would never leave without her, would she?

Would she?

No, that was impossible. Demeter had always been there with her, through thick and thin, no matter what. They had promised each other that they would stay together until they died. That was assuming they died together. Which was always the plan. Together. They needed to be together. And now her sister had simply gotten up and left without her.

"Demeter!" Bombalurina called as she ran through the streets, rushing in any direction she could go, checking every place they had been to before, were familiar with, or even simply noticed in passing. She had to find her sister. Demeter couldn't have left without her! She couldn't…she couldn't. She wouldn't just leave, after all that time, talking about how she wanted to stay. Stay for the kittens, stay for that _wretched_ tabby of hers. They were trouble, every last one of the cats there, trying to take her sister away from her!

"_Answer me, DAMN IT_!" She tripped on a break in the sidewalk and crashed to the floor, splayed out on the ground. She felt her knees scrape on the concrete, and the blood begin to seep into her fur, as the throbbing pain ran like electricity through her. But she refused to cry. She refused to let the pain get to her. She refused to let _them_ get to her. "Dem…I need you…"

"_Come on, Bombalurina, snap out of it!" Demeter said to her sister, as they hid under a car. The rain was pouring, and lightening was slicing through the sky. They needed to find a place to stay and soon. But her sister, strong as she was, couldn't shake the feeling. Demeter knew what had happened. She had seen it once before, with their mother. _

_Bombalurina had snapped. _

"_Please!" said the queen, feeling tears begin to fill her eyes. "I can't do this alone!" No response. "I know you lost your mate…it's not your fault we had to leave the tribe, though. Please…come back to me." Her sister seemed gone. That night, Demeter cried, wailing into the night, the sounds she made mourning the possible loss of her sister masked by the sounds of the storm. _

Rumpleteazer squeezed herself out of the tiny opening in the window, before turning around and pulling out her bag of loot. She jumped down to the ground, where her partner in crime was waiting for her. They didn't bother to hide their laughter as they bounded across the lawn and jumped on top of the brick fence.

The small tabby queen leaned against Mungojerrie, trying to catch her breath, as the tom shifted through his items. "This looks good," said the tabby tom. "Nice of Munk' to entrust us wit' gettin' the food 'e asked for."

Rumpleteazer nodded proudly in response. She then looked over to something that had just rounded the corner. The small queen frowned. "Somethin' in our ter'tory…" She jumped down from the wall, leaving her loot there, her partner soon following.

"Whatcha gunna do?" he asked, smiling coyly. "Beat the bloody thin' with your paws like ya did last time?" The little queen shoved her partner in crime playfully before rushing over to the corner, peering around carefully. She gasped in surprise, which made Mungojerrie all the more curious. He raced around the corner, and saw a familiar queen walking down the way.

"Do you think the otha's know she's down 'ere?" he asked to other car burglar. The queen shrugged. He then slowly walked up to the queen. "Demeta'?" He put a paw on her shoulder, and the gold queen snapped back to life for only a moment.

"NO!" she screamed, pulling away. The two cats watched, stunned, as she held her shoulder as though she had pulled something, then continued walking mechanically. She was muttering to herself, drawing in quick breaths now and then, as though she were sobbing. Mungojerrie, at a loss with what to do, reached out his paw again.

"Don't Mungo," Rumpleteazer said. "She'll 'urt 'erself."

"What's wrong with 'er?"

"I don' know." Then to Demeter, she said, "Come on, Dem. You shouldn' be out and abou' at night in your condition. I'm sure the tribe is worried abou' ya." There was no response. The queen leaned close to her partner. "Munkustrap would be 'avin' a fit right now."

"Munkustrap," Demeter gasped. The two cats went still. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "Kittens…need names…the kittens. They're yours, never mine."

"What the bloody 'ell is she mumblin' abou'?" asked the tom.

"Hell," Demeter whispered, continuing to walk. "Jellicles…we can't go to…" She stopped walking abruptly. The two cats took that as a chance to walk in front of her and block her path. They looked at her eyes, looking far off, and her face that looked almost terrified. "I'll…surely…go to hell for that."

"We bettah take 'er 'ome," Rumpleteazer said.

Demeter shook her head. "No…I have no home."

"Well, we'll take 'er to the junkyard, then," Mungojerrie said, rolling his eyes. "We assumed tha' was your 'ome. Look, we got your food for you, jus' like Munk wanted us to get you."

"I need…Deuteronomy…I need…to talk to him," she managed.

"You're nowhere near 'im," Rumpleteazer said gently. "Did you ge' lost on the way?" Demeter went quiet. No more mumblings. No more mindless walking. No more short, sobbing gasps. Instead, she looked up to the young queen before her, eyes glossy from unshed tears.

"I'm…tired," she said softly. Finally, she let the other cats touch her. The two cats led the poor, exhausted queen slowly back to the junkyard. They tried to get her to talk, but she had gone completely silent, looking around every once in a while, as though wondering how she got there, but then deciding to simply let out a sob and falling back to her numb state. Confused, and suddenly saddened themselves, the two cats were quiet the rest of the way, as they led home the poor wandering queen, who seemed like nothing more than a kitten, were it not for the years of agony in her eyes, and the kittens she herself would soon bare.

_Demeter nuzzled her sister, who was staring off into the night sky. "Maybe someday we'll be happy," she said hopefully._

_Bombalurina shook her head, the first acknowledgement to her sister in days. "No," she said in a raspy voice. "Don't tell yourself that. It will just destroy you in the end."_


	10. What Broken Dreams Bring

_A/N: Between tests, prior engagements, kitten sitting, original story writing, much reading, and a multitude of interuptions, I managed my self-invoked thursday deadline by three minutes! Yes, this is an angsty, dramatic fic, and aptly named! I didn't feel like being kind to the Jellicles when creating this story. I have other stories, brighter stories, that I may put up later. But the Jellicles need a little messed-up turmoil in their lives, I think. And I love that everyone asked the same question in their review. It made me smile when I thought about it. Now, enjoy the chapter, and ignore the ramblings of a very exhausted author._

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10 – What Broken Dreams Bring**

She didn't know what compelled her to fall into her own world, her confused world, her world that tried so hard to make sense of the reality she faced every day. After she found out about her kittens, everything seemed to get dimmer, and dimmer, and she could feel herself falling, but could do nothing about it. All she saw were the vaguest shadows of cats in the past before her. She walked towards them, as though they would give her comfort. As though if they forgave her, everything would be okay. But she couldn't see where she was going anymore.

She was _never_ able to see where she was going. Her memories were made up of broken dreams. There were fantasy's that would never come true. Plans she never intended to follow. Nights spent with 'friends', talking about dreams _they_ had. She always had many. They were simple. Theirs were, too. They probably lived out their lives, found their dreams. Ideally, they died happy. If Demeter couldn't be happy, at least in her dreams, she could pretend her former friends and mates were happy. And maybe they survived through their kittens. Perhaps those kittens heard of her, when their parents would tell them a story before they went to sleep. The story was most likely of a queen who was once their best friend, a golden glimmer at sundown, to become nothing more than a whisper in the night, gone as soon as the sun rose in the sky, and never to return.

She was a ghost. Once.

Then came _that tabby_. One of many. But this one was different somehow. Or maybe it was just she who was different this time. She allowed things to happen with him she shouldn't have. She fooled herself into living like a queen who was in love. And now, with little kittens growing inside her, ones that she had already come to love, to deem as her saviors, were nothing more than another hope taken away from her. Only, it was worse this time. They were _from_ her. By all rights, they should have been with her all her life. And now, they were to become the cats that had a mother who left them. Their mother, the specter of the night. Intangible. Not real. Was never there to begin with.

But _they_ would be real. And _he_ certainly was real. Why the _hell_ wasn't she!

Demeter came back to reality long enough to realize there were two paws on either side of her now leading her as gently as they could into some unknown direction. Demeter gasped in shock, but she had no energy to fight them off. "Stop," she said meekly.

"It's a'ight, Demeta'," said a familiar female voice. "We're almost 'ome."

That was a concept she couldn't understand. She didn't need to go to her fake home. She needed to go get answers. She needed to talk to Old Deuteronomy. She thought that if anyone knew anything, he would! He had to. He could bring light back into her life. He would tell her everything was okay, and she would believe him!

She tried to struggle, but all her energy was gone. She couldn't even see straight. Reality still hadn't come back into existence. Her mind still needed to rest. She couldn't go back there! Not yet! Answers! She needed answers! She needed to know that she wouldn't break her kittens' hearts! She needed to know that she could finally stop hurting people! Even just the smallest glimmer of hope, something, _anything_! She couldn't stay this way.

"Let go of her!" hissed a familiar voice, and the two paws did so, leaving Demeter to wobble. Vaguely, she recognized her sister, anger on her face, her teeth bared as though she were going to attack the two cats at her side. She then grabbed Demeter's paw and brought her protectively towards her.

"We were just takin' 'er 'ome!" Said the male voice defensively.

"I'll take care of her," Bombalurina said flippantly. "Get out of here! Go back to the junkyard and leave us alone!" She stepped forward threateningly, and Demeter heard footsteps scampering away. "Demeter?"

Bombalurina pulled her sister away from her and looked down at her. "Look at me. Are you okay? Did something hurt you? Demeter! Look at me!" The red queen started to pant as she looked close to tears. "Snap out of it! Come on, please! You're scaring me! Please…I need to take care of you."

"Take…care…of me?" Demeter finally felt her emotions swelling up in her. She began to back away from Bombalurina. "Take care of me?" she whispered, her blank expression suddenly turning into one of fury. "You want to take care of me? You've been lying to me!"

Bombalurina stood, shocked, staring at her sister. "Dem…what are you…?"

"Coricopat and Tantomile," Demeter began choppily. "They told me. They told me that…the kittens, they might be Jellicles, they might be normal, they might be mixed between the two…and you let me believe everything would be okay?"

"Dem," Bombalurina said, letting out a nervous chuckle to try and alleviate the tension. "It didn't need to be said. I couldn't upset you when you were pregnant. I had to be a good aunt."

"A…good aunt?" Demeter asked in disgust, holding her chest as though the red queen had just pierced right through her heart. "You couldn't even bother to tell me? That I was just dreaming about a regular life? Snap me back into reality before I got so deep into it that I could barely remember why I was so anxious to leave to begin with? I can't _do this to them_!" Her voice had gotten louder until she was screaming her last words.

"Dem, everything will be okay," said the queen, looking ready to have a panic attack herself. "Listen…" She looked around quickly. She licked her lips, taking a deep breath, before turning her attention back to Demeter. "We could leave _right now_. We could do like mom did, except you wouldn't have to raise them on your own! I would be there to!"

"And leave them if they're not Jellicles?" Demeter asked. "You're not listening! You're not even _thinking_!"

"IT'S ALL I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT, DEM!" Bombalurina yelled, ready to pull her fur out. Then she took a few deep breaths, as not to upset Demeter any more than she had been by yelling. "You look ready to collapse, Demmie. At least, if we leave now, take the kits with us, we could get pretty far from the tribe before they need to be born. Then they can stay with us until they're ready to be on their own. They don't have to weave in and out of tribes their entire kittenhood like we did."

Demeter felt like she couldn't catch her breath. What her sister was saying was a possibility, true. And a tempting one. If she could leave right now, her anxiety would be gone. It would just be her, and her kittens, and Bombalurina. It would be a change, but she wouldn't have to worry about being shunned, or her kittens being shunned. She wouldn't have to worry about retaliation from Macavity, or another former tribe member wandering into their _new_ tribe and giving weigh to something being wrong. She would never have to face any of the '_Jellicle'_ Cats again…

"Oh!" Demeter gasped, putting her paw on her stomach.

"What's the matter?" Bombalurina asked, genuinely concerned.

"…a kitten…kicked." Demeter didn't bother to see her sister's reaction to the news. She had never _felt_ the kittens before…

Slowly, she turned and began her way back to the junkyard. Bombalurina was calling from behind, until she finally groaned, having given up, and followed her sister.

------

Munkustrap had been absolutely terrified to find out Demeter had gone missing. Like everyone else, he had no idea what had happened to her, and he only thought to find her. If she was attacked by something, he would never forgive himself. One moment he left to get her something, the next moment she was missing. None of it made sense.

Seeing Tugger made him feel like he was going to have a heart attack. And knowing she was still out there made him only think the worse. His family was about to be taken away from him in one fell swoop.

Someone gasped, and all attention went to the entrance to the junkyard. There was Demeter with her sister trailing her, as she slowly entered. Munkustrap stood still as the other cats slowly went up to her. What Tugger had told him was right; she _did_ look like she was in a daze. She looked a mix between terrified and traumatized, almost silly in the way she was wobbling as her center of gravity had been shifted. But there was nothing silly about the look in her eyes, wide open in shock, like she was ready to fall to pieces.

Cats began to make their way up to her, looking at her with concern. Bombalurina was close at her sister's heels though, and she put herself in the way of the other cats, much as Munkustrap himself had done when Grizabella graced them with their presence during the Jellicle Ball. It was better, though -her keeping them back.

Munkustrap pushed past the other cats, who began to make way for him, as he looked to his mate, relieved, confused, concerned. When there was finally no one between them, he stood still, keeping his distance, not knowing what to say or do to make the situation better.

It was that way a lot with his mate. The secrets she kept ran too deep for him to pretend to understand. Perhaps that was why he was drawn to her to begin with, as he wanted nothing more to help her, to make everything better. And Everlasting Cat knows he tried. He thought he was making progress. He thought she was happy. He thought everything would be okay.

Demeter took a few deep breaths, as though she were taking in the junkyard for the first time. Then her eyes caught the black paws of the silver tabby, slowly trailing up his frame, until their eyes met. She whimpered.

"Munkustrap," she managed to say. Then she broke down in tears. Running up to him, she clutched onto him tightly, burying her face into his chest and wetting his fur, gasping for air, and trembling all over. Her body was pressed up tightly against him, the bump of her stomach catching him off guard. He carefully hugged her back, as though she were a fragile figurine, and closed his eyes, thanking the Everlasting Cat she hadn't closed down as he had seen one queen do before.

When he opened his eyes, the other cats were staring at them. He waved them away, giving them an angry glare, enough to tell them to leave them in peace. And because he was so well respected, they did. The last lingering cats were the conjuring cat, the quiet Abyssinian, and the red queen, who wore an expression that was impossible to read.

He cradled his mate in his arms, kissed her on top of her head, and told her everything would be okay, not to worry, there wasn't any need to cry anymore. Helplessly, he brought her back to their den, helping her down the cushions that served as their bed, letting her cry, not knowing what to say. Finally, he had to admit it. "I…don't understand. Why are you crying? What happened to you?"

Demeter tried to catch her breath, wiping tears from her swollen eyes. She tried to look to him, but seemed more comfortable talking to her knees than to her mate. "You…" she managed. She seemed as though she were going to say more, but she ended it at that.

And she cried herself to sleep.

----------

"We should have just left," Bombalurina whispered to the other two as they were huddled in a corner. "She just flipped out. _Absolutely_ flipped out! I mean, she couldn't control it for even a few more weeks?" She looked down at her scraped knees, and groaned in frustration. "I don't know what to do! I don't know what's going to happen! We can't leave _now_!"

"Bombalurina," Cassandra tried to use a calming voice. "It's alright. She'll be okay. You'll be okay."

Bombalurina looked at Cassandra as though she had gone crazy. If she felt the need to act so loving to her, she knew she was _not_ going to be okay. She ran her paws through her fur. "I think she's mad at me." Bombalurina said.

"She'll calm down," Mistoffelees said, in a more convincing calming voice than Cassandra could ever do.

"She's broken," Bombalurina said sadly. "Haven't you ever felt that way?"

"Yes," Cassandra admitted sadly.

"Of course," Mistoffelees said. "Plenty of times, but we all have our own ways of dealing with it. Demeter…just closed in on herself."

Bombalurina sighed. "Must be hereditary. Bast…it's not like I don't care about her! I think she thinks that. I just…We have to get through this. This is a very _trying_ tribe. I don't…understand them. They so readily shunned Grizabella. Being ostracized by the people you care about…I think that's the worst pain I've felt yet. I'd rather they throw things at me, scratch to get me away from them, have them look at me like something is _wrong_ with me. At least they know I'm there! But to turn their backs on me…

"No one ever really changes, you know? I have yet to find someone who loved me enough that I _knew_ they wouldn't turn their back on. The only one who I thought could accept me, well…he's gone now. Before anything could be said. Before anything could be done. And I went numb." Bombalurina was looking down to her bloody knees as she explained. It was easier to think she was just admitted it to herself the first time, rather than two cats who were once strangers.

"I understand," Bombalurina said, carefully looking up to Mistoffelees, then shifting her eyes to Cassandra, looking at them both with unyielding intensity, before continuing. "What it must be like for her. Only she _knows_ what she's going to lose. I lost mine abruptly. She has the stress of it all over her, and I can't do anything but…" She shook her head.

"We'll do our best to help you two," Mistoffelees said, Cassandra nodding in agreement. "You're not alone now. You have us."

"Yeah," Bombalurina said. "For now."

----------

Munkustrap paced in front of his mate as she slept. He didn't want to disturb her, but he wanted to know what was wrong with her. As not to be tempted to wake her up and question her as though she had done something wrong, he walked just outside of his den, so he could protect her against anything that could possibly do any harm to her. Well, any _corporal_ thing. It seemed her dreams were causing her more pain than any other thing could do.

Helpless, he sat outside the den, periodically looking in on her, before looking out again and sighing. As he thought, his tail twitched in anger. His thoughts began to run away with him, while he traced back the steps that led to that moment.

"How is she doing?" Munkustrap turned to see Skimbleshanks coming up. "Jenny wanted me to check on her. She's busy with Tugger."

"Oh," Munkustrap said, trying to shake his thoughts from his head and calm his nerves. "Sleeping."

"Do you know what caused this?" he asked.

"I have an idea," Munkustrap said lowly. "How is Tugger?"

"In good spirits," Skimbleshanks announced proudly. "I thought he would be enjoying the attention more, however."

"Well," Munkustrap shrugged. "I've been in my share of fights. You're not quite as energetic as you were before it. But I've never been in a fight with a Pollicle, though." He looked back to his mate. "He saved her life."

"And yours," Skimbleshanks added. "Ay, I would die if anything happened to Jenny, or any of my kits. I can't imagine how frightened you must have been."

Munkustrap looked down. "Earlier, we were talking about naming them. Demeter asked if I was scared to be a father. I said yes. I didn't know _just_ how terrifying it would be."

"You had a bad scare," Skimbleshanks said, patting the silver tabby on the back. "You need to get some rest, too." Munkustrap laughed at the irony.

"Rest? I can't possibly _now_. Tugger…and Demeter…I think Bombalurina was hurt…and what if--"

"Don't make me get Jenny after you."

Munkustrap sighed in resignation. "I'll try," he said as he watched his sleeping mate. To himself, he listed the things he had to get rest for. He had to help Demeter through whatever crisis she had gone through, make sure the kittens were alright, and protect the junkyard now that everyone felt so vulnerable from the sudden upset. The Rum Tum Tugger had to be taken care of and watched carefully. And most importantly, he had to find Coricopat and Tantomile. He had to confront them. And Everlasting Cat help him, he would chase them out of the tribe himself if he had to.


	11. Problems and Solutions

_A/N: My brain is slightly fried right now. It's just one of those...years. So if there are major problems in this chapter, you know why, heh. And I'll try and fix it if it's majorly major._**  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 11 – Problems and Solutions**

"What can I say?" Bombalurina said the next day when the others dared to ask her what was wrong with Demeter. "It's a very emotional time for her. I can't keep track of all her feelings," she tried to play off. Some left her alone after that. Others didn't seem to buy what she was saying. They knew she knew what had happened, just that she didn't want to talk about it.

"Well," Pouncival said, frowning at not getting the story behind the breakdown. "What does Tugger have to say about it? Jenny won't let us anywhere near him."

Bombalurina sighed and ran a paw through her fur. "_Why_ won't Jenny let you near him?" she asked, offhandedly. To herself, she thought, 'These kits just don't quit, do they?'

"Because he was hurt yesterday," Pouncival said matter-of-factly. The other cats around suddenly had their interests peaked from the look of confusion on Bombalurina's face. "Didn't you know? Well, you were probably busy worrying about your sister, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" Bombalurina asked, feeling on the spot.

Jemima stepped forward and cut off Pouncival before he could say anything. "He followed Demeter when she left the tribe, and came back all beaten up and bloodied by a Pollicle." Pouncival looked ready to attack the innocent looking queen for taking his moment from him.

"I didn't know that," Bombalurina admitted, looking off to the distance. This wasn't good. Not at all. Their existence in the tribe was causing far too much commotion as it was. Now, to have to deal with a hurt tom? And what's more, with all technicality, it was _her_ tom she didn't know about. It wasn't that she didn't care about the Rum Tum Tugger. She had worked hard to get him to like her, be he finicky about her presence or not…

How was she supposed to react? She looked up, the others watching her intently to see her reaction. She frowned. "Look, would you all give me a moment? I've had a _very_ long couple of days." Muttering, the cats left her with her thoughts.

She supposed she should go and check up on the tom. As she slowly made her way to Jennyanydots' den, she thought about her relationship with the tom. It was, by her standards, _safe_. She didn't have to keep him at a distance; he did that for both of them. It was exactly what she needed after everything that had happened to her. Something nice to flirt with; a pretty boy to have around, but no deep connection there.

Bombalurina peeked in through the door. The Gumbie Cat seemed to be missing at the time, so Mistoffelees was keeping Tugger company. Bombalurina couldn't hear what they were talking about, but both seemed in good spirits, as whatever story Tugger was telling the black and white tom seemed very funny. The Maine Coon looked to have many wounds on him, and every now and then had to stop laughing to hold his side, where he had been patched up by the 'good deed doer' of the tribe. But Mistoffelees kept his smile on, making sure his friend was okay, and that he would forget his pain for a while, buttering up his ego, making him feel less self-conscious about his new tattered features and more proud of his bravery.

Bombalurina left them alone and decided instead to go to Demeter's den and check on her. She had been thinking of nothing else but how difficult the next few weeks were going to be for both of them, and after the kits were born. She couldn't even fathom it. When she peered reluctantly into the den, she could see her sister lying down, half awake, half asleep, staring off into nothing. Her mate was laying on the ground next to the cushion, his head on their little bed. It looked as though he had watched her the whole night through, and had just given into his exhaustion.

The red queen was about to call to her sister, but didn't see the point in it. There was nothing more she could think of to say to her. She had to leave it in the paws of the Everlasting Cat, and fearing their relationship with _him_, she had no faith in how well this entire part of their lives would turn out.

So she turned and left to go to her own lonely little den. On her way there, she saw Cassandra sitting by herself, looking intensely at nothing. She had seen her do it before, but hardly cared to think anything of it. Now that she looked closer, she could tell just what was bothering her, just what that look on her face meant.

Bombalurina walked up to the queen and sat next to her, looking off into the distance along with her. "Lonely?" she asked.

Cassandra looked to her momentarily, before looking back at nothing. "I'm always lonely."

--------

Demeter opened her eyes. Closed them. Opened them again. No matter how many times she opened her eyes, things still looked fuzzy. She still wasn't over the shock of everything that had happened to her.

Movement. She looked down and barely recognized Munkustrap as he stretched. Why was he sleeping on the ground instead of on the bed? What did it matter?

Closed eyes. Opened them. Time had passed, as she could see the sun coming into her den at a different angle. She looked down to Munkustrap, who was just trying to get a crick out of his neck. It looked painful. He looked up to her, rubbing his neck. "Are you awake?" he whispered.

'What an odd question,' she thought, thinking that it only made sense she was awake if her eyes were open. "Yeah," she managed to answer, before trying to get up. "My head hurts," she admitted.

"I'm not surprised," he whispered. "You've...been crying all night."

Demeter sighed. She had hoped everything she had done was just a bad dream, but it was too much to wish for. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't apologize," her mate said. "I just…don't understand. Do you…want to talk about it?" he asked cautiously, looking careful not to make her break down in tears yet again.

"No," she said quickly, before sighing shakily. Munkustrap looked off, and then back at his mate. He stroked her cheek with his paw. She closed her eyes again. "It's something you'll never understand, Munkustrap."

"I promise I'll try," he said with enough conviction, she wanted to believe him.

"I…don't want to talk about it," she whispered, sighing again, inviting sleep in. She vaguely heard him get up and leave, and in the back of her mind, began to wonder if she'd ever see him again. 'I would deserve just as much.'

----------

Munkustrap left Jellylorum to look after his mate. He walked down the pathways of the junkyard with such an intense look on his face; none of the cats dared go up to speak with him. He passed Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, who a moment ago were laughing over something they had done, but went completely quiet as the silver tabby passed. Many of the kittens stopped watching the conjurer's tricks as the tabby walked by, and Admetus stopped his conversation with Skimbleshanks to stare at the tom.

Then, he saw _them_. He stopped walking, his twitching tail the only sign of his anger. The site of the twins talking lowly amongst themselves caused his breathing to deepen. 'No,' he told himself. 'Calm down. Get the information first. Find out what happened first. Then act. Act as you see fit. Don't act first.'

Coricopat was the first to make eye contact. "Munkustrap…" he said, standing up and taking a few steps forward so he was in front of his sister.

Munkustrap suddenly lunged at the tom. Just as his paws reached out to dig into the other tom's flesh, something held him back, and he fought violently to be let free. "_What did you do to my mate_!" he growled.

He was being pulled away from the two cats, but his muscles worked to getting to the tom. He wouldn't hurt Tantomile. He couldn't hurt a queen. But Coricopat was fair game, and he would pay for them both.

"Munkustrap, calm down!" he heard Alonzo hiss in his ear. But the tom couldn't calm down. All the time he spent, trying to get Demeter to open up to him, to get her to trust him with her troubles, and feel safe around her, and he couldn't even keep her safe from her own tribe mates! Again, Alonzo's voice rang clear. "You two, get out of here! Before I let him go!" The twins ran, causing Munkustrap to growl in frustration.

Suddenly, he was pushed backwards, and the moment he was sprawled on his back, two sets of paws held him down. "Let go of me!" Munkustrap pleaded, as he watched the two cats escape.

"You're upset," Alonzo said, who was standing over the tom. "And you're acting like a kitten! Don't take it out on them!"

"They've been stalking her!" Munkustrap growled, trying to get his front paws free. "They did something to her, I know it!"

"He's…VERY…strong," groaned Skimbleshanks.

"I don't know how long I can hold him!" he heard Mistoffelees say.

"We can get Mungo and Teazer to help," Alonzo said, looking over to someone.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," he heard Rumpleteazer say.

"Well, if you're just going to _watch_, what help are you?" Alonzo rolled his eyes. "Munk, calm down! Do you really want the tribe to see you like this?"

"I want them _out_ of the tribe!" he hissed.

"Don't you think you're overreacting? You have no proof of anything!"

"Alonzo, those are _my_ kittens, _my_ mate, _my_ family we're dealing with!" he screamed. "I won't let them get away with this!"

"With what? Upsetting Demeter? Hardly a case, Munk! Then you'd have to go after Pouncival for calling her 'fat' the other day."

"Well," Skimbleshanks corrected. "He didn't say it in those words, but he was being insensitive--"

Munkustrap cut him off. "She's broken, Alonzo," he said with the utmost clarity. Everything went still for a moment. Munkustrap took the chance to reclaim his paws and sit up, panting. He looked around to see that there were no other cats in the area but the ones he heard. "Whatever happened, she's the one exhausted from crying from whatever they did to her. THEY did something. _They_ can't get away with it."

"Maybe you should let me take care of it, then," Alonzo said.

"You think I can't do it?"

"I think it's too personal for you, yes," he said, looking very serious. "You're supposed to _protect_ the tribe, not tear it apart."

Munkustrap hissed in anger, but had more control over himself at this point. "_I'm_ tearing this tribe apart?"

"Not yet, but you sure as hell seem willing to!"

"If anyone's tearing the tribe up, it's _them_!"

"If that's the case, then I'll go to Old Deuteronomy and see what to do about it! Better than kicking them out of the tribe like _you_ would like to do!" The two were at a stand-off. The silver tabby looked the bi-colored tom fiercely in the eyes, waiting for him to move. But neither backed down. Feeling his determination break down and his concern for the tribe return, the silver tom thought how silly it must have looked to have to have the other toms of the tribe holding him back from a fight that he would clearly win. He could have snapped Coricopat in two like a toothpick if he wanted to. Finally, Munkustrap sighed.

"I don't want to see them anywhere near Demeter."

"Or near you," Alonzo said. "I got that, don't worry." After getting up and brushing himself off, Munkustrap made his way back to his den, the others watching him go. All except for Mistoffelees, who had disappeared sometime after he let the tom go.

---------

Bombalurina, Cassandra, and Mistoffelees sat beside each other, the tom working feverishly on the jewelry box, the moonlight his only source of light. They were in the junkyard this time. It didn't feel very welcoming at the bonfire without Demeter, and they all missed her as though she had disappeared without a trace.

"I hate them," Bombalurina concluded. "Stupid twins. They did it on purpose, I bet. Just to get back at her for any other Jellicles who've left them in the past."

"Don't worry," Mistoffelees said, trying to get a screw in place to make the music actually play. "I went to them after the whole incident. I told them to keep away from here, at least until after the kittens are born."

"Yeah," Bombalurina sighed. "Or I'll rip their heads off myself."

"They ruined everything," Cassandra said softly. "All anyone wants to talk about is what's going on with Demeter and the twins. You know how curious the others are. And their stories are getting more and more embellished as time goes on. I feel very...uncomfortable about the whole thing. Like the secrets out, or something. I feel so…exposed."

"Not like _that Munkustrap_ didn't make things worse," Bombalurina said in a whisper. "I think Dem did her job a little _too_ well when she found a tom who would protect her. Now look where it's gotten us!" She sighed. "We should have never come here. If I was just more…_aware_ of what was happening then, I could have stopped Dem."

"What?" Mistoffelees asked with a smile, examining his work. "You didn't trust that first cat you saw?"

"No," Bombalurina frowned.

Mistoffelees put down his project for a moment to scowl at the red queen. "That was _me_."

"Oh…I thought it was Munkustrap," she said. "Well, you should have stopped her!"

"From what?" he asked, continuing his endeavors. "Coming to a tribe that would protect her at all costs?" The music box made a resounding snap, before a few small, vital pieces spilled from its insides and was lost in the junk heap they sat on. Mistoffelees closed his eyes tightly, as thought keeping from screaming. Then he sighed and put the music box aside. "There goes the music of the night," he shrugged.

"You can't fix it?" Cassandra asked.

"I guess not," Mistoffelees said. "I was too rushed." He then turned to the other two. "You know, I think we should stop worrying about what the others are saying and start trying to figure out how to cheer Demeter up. I know I've relied on rumors before. _Anything_ to get them away from the truth, right?"

"Her problem won't just go away," Bombalurina reminded them.

"But if we do nothing," Cassandra reasoned, "Then the rumors will get too out of hand. In the wrong paws, rumors can cause far too much turmoil_. Trust me_. We don't want Munkustrap to begin believing what they may say about Demeter." She shuddered at the thought. "We need to get her back on her feet as soon as possible."

"The rumors won't stop," Bombalurina said.

"We'll make them stop," Mistoffelees said. "One way or another."

-----------

Bombalurina sat by her sister's side. Demeter had refused to get up for a few days now. She had also eaten very little, much to Munkustrap's dismay. He had brought her all kinds of foods, hoping something would trigger her hunger, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, Bombalurina asked him to leave her with her sister so she could help her. She gave him a project to do, and she had been alone with her sister ever since. "I caused a lot of trouble," Demeter said.

"It doesn't matter," Bombalurina said, smiling gently, petting her sister on the head. "They're the ones who caused it anyway."

"No," Demeter said softly. "Did you know Tugger was hurt because of _me_? And you hurt yourself, too. Munkustrap doesn't seem the same around me."

"Oh," Bombalurina waved off the mention of the tabby. "Strappy-boo's just upset with Coricopat and Tantomile for making you…cry."

"How upset is upset?' Demeter asked, propping herself on one elbow.

"Um…"

"The truth, Bomba." The stern look on the gold queen's face was a welcome change from her recently depressed one.

"He wanted to have them kicked out of the tribe," Bombalurina bit her lip.

"Oh," Demeter said, her eyes widening. "Because of me?" Bombalurina didn't answer. "Great… What am I going to do, Bomba?"

"Don't worry about it for now," the red queen pleaded. "Please, Dem, you need to save up your energy. You're coming closer to having to deliver the kittens, and you've been so depressed lately, I'm worried."

"How can I not--"

"Please," Bombalurina said more urgently. "Don't think about any of what's happened, or any of what might happen, or anything that's happening right now. Just think of the kittens. And cheer up." Demeter seemed unconvinced. Bombalurina crept in closer and put on a smile smiled. "Want to know something?"

"Hmm?"

"The tribe has a surprise for you." Demeter's ears went back in fear. "A _good_ one, Dem, a good one! For the kittens. They wanted to cheer you up. And since you haven't been up and about, it's all been a bit of a secret. And I know that you don't like crowds, and that we've been_ far too much_ the center of attention lately, but you might just like this."

"What is it?" Demeter asked cautiously.

Bombalurina got up and stepped over to the opening of the den. She looked out, peered around, then looked back in and smiled. "You'll have to get up to see what."

Demeter tried to get up, but with her legs wobbly from so little activity and her stomach throwing off her center of gravity, she couldn't quite figure out how to. Bombalurina finally had to help her up and lead her to the den opening.

Outside, were cats milling around, carrying things to hang up against the piles of junk. Lights were being hung, and areas were being cleared, as though they were preparing for another Jellicle Ball. So quickly? "What are they decorating for!" she squeaked.

Bombalurina laughed lightly. "Mistoffelees recommended a little party for the kittens. Kind of a way to welcome them to the tribe. Humans do something like this, he said, but they buy gifts for the mother. Well…humans are a little materialistic, now aren't they?" She nudged her sister. "But I'm sure you'll get a toy or two."

"You're having a 'Cheer Demeter Up' party?" asked the queen.

"That depends. Did it work?"

A faint smile appeared on the gold queen's face. "If this means they're accepting my kittens, no matter what, then yes. Everlasting Cat, yes."


	12. One Cat's Grand Finale

_A/N: Please excuse the lateness of this update. Between the website refusing to work when I tried to upload the chapter and the hazards of everyday life, this was a very hard chapter to finish and have ready to post. So enjoy, and remember, the naming of cats is a difficult matter for a reason._

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12 – One Cat's Grand Finale**

Cats were buzzing around, putting up decorations, preparing for their little party. Some cats practiced dance numbers just to impress others. Who needed to wait for the next ball to dance?

Each cat was in their own little world, preparing in their own way for the party that night. Victoria worked out a beautiful solo, as Plato watched at the side, smiling to himself and giving her rave reviews. Munkustrap was busy overlooking preparations; especially after Bombalurina gave the hint that the 'surprise' would go off well with Demeter. _Very well_.

"You told her, didn't you?" he asked.

"Of course," she said, smiling. He shook his head, but couldn't help but smile.

Jennyanydots was busy rounding up the youngest of kittens, to tell them to behave, while her mice were busy crocheting a little blanket for Demeter. (Blue, for the color of a newborn kitten's eyes after they've opened.) But when some of the mice had accidentally crotched themselves into the blanket, she told the kittens that she was going to send Skimbleshanks to keep them in line, before rushing to the aid of her pupils.

Jellylorum was busy rehearsing a little play with the theatre cat, who's eyes glimmered with the magic of past shows, and the chance to once again shine. Old Deuteronomy wasn't assured to come that night; as one of the people that visited him often at the vicarage wall was sick, and seeing as he had no owner, was keeping the person company.

There were beautiful trinkets scattered throughout the junkyard for decoration purposes, making Munkustrap frown, seeing as how everything was most likely stolen. Alonzo found it very funny, but pretended he was coughing instead of laughing when the silver tabby gave him a look.

Cassandra was sitting with the Rum Tum Tugger as he watched the festivities taking place. She made sure to keep any glomping kittens away from the injured tom, but also enjoyed the extra attention from the sweet talking tom. He looked her over with a sly smile on his face.

"You've been hanging out with Misto a lot lately," he commented, as he sat back on his uninjured arm. He winced slightly in pain, then tried to readjust himself, but found that near impossible with his injuries. Cassandra finally had to put a paw on his back and help him out, since his own abs were too pained at the moment to hoist him up. "Uh…thanks, babe," he said, blushing under his fur.

"It must be hard on you," she commented. "You probably hate being helped out."

"Nah, I'm fine," he said, offhandedly.

"I think what you did for Demeter was great," Cassandra said, with a mysterious smile on her face.

"Yeah, well," he said, smiling back. "I do what I can."

"You care a lot about your tribe," Cassandra remarked. "It's very…"

"Sexy?" Tugger raised an eyebrow.

"I was going for _commendable_. But any chance to hear the Rum Tum Tugger say _sexy_ to me, I'll take." They continued their conversation, Cassandra stopping only to escort Etcetera over to Skimbleshanks when she tried to sneak over to the Maine Coon.

Bombalurina and Demeter sat in the den, the gold queen listening to the festivities outside. "Do you think they would hate it if I went for a walk?" Demeter asked. "It…kind of hurts to have been sitting around for so long."

"Mmm," Bombalurina considered. "Well, I think they'd be ecstatic that you're on your feet." Demeter smiled softly. Then she slowly walked - or at this point, waddled – outside. As she looked at all the decorations, she caught the eyes of some of the other cats. They stopped what they were doing to wave, smile, or point her out to someone else. Demeter tried to cover her face. Did they have to make such a big fuss? She didn't want to know what they thought of her, or what they were saying about her. For today, she would just have to endure a party for her kittens' sake. And her mate would protect her against the gossip, surely.

-------

The day hadn't even ended yet, and the decorations were far from being finished. But the cats didn't care anymore. The call to dance was far too strong for them to ignore. And it began with a black and white tom and a queen all in white dancing together. The others quickly joined in, and the celebration began.

"It's not even five o' clock yet!" Munkustrap yelled to the other cats. Their joyful voices rang through the air. The other cats quickly brought Demeter up to the tire and sat her down. Munkustrap followed, sitting next to her, giving her something to lean on.

Every time Skimbleshanks turned his attention elsewhere, the kittens began to make mischief. None more than Jemima and Electra, as they were the youngest and most energetic. They annoyed Cassandra, played with decorations, pounced the unsuspecting kitten toms (who then joined in), and raced to and fro, always managing to look innocent the second Skimbleshanks turned his attentions back to them.

Pouncival had found an old feather-duster, stuck his head through it, and began to strut about, pretending he was Tugger. He managed to draw the attention of the kitten queens, and Etcetera was more than happy to squeal in fake excitement for him. That was, until the real Rum Tum Tugger came out of hiding. Etcetera squealed, but Alonzo picked her up and carried her away before she could do anything to him. She managed to get away and snuggle close to Tugger, who smiled kindly to her. Etcetera then smiled smugly at Alonzo, and the bi-colored tom stuck his tongue out at the queen. As they got into a "face-making contest," the Rum Tum Tugger pried himself from the calico, and sat in a corner, watching the festivities.

"He's not really himself lately, is he?" Demeter asked sadly.

Munkustrap hugged her close and whispered in her ear, "Don't think about it." Demeter sighed and watched as the usually joyful tom seemed very sad and lonely.

At one point, Bustober Jones decided to grace them with his presence. Demeter felt the muscles in Munkustrap's body stiffen up as he felt the scrutiny of "the cat about town" upon him, but when they made eye-contact, the tom bowed his head to the silver tabby, and he relaxed quite a bit, celebrating his acceptance from the fat cat by licking Demeter on the ear.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer raced up center stage and bowed, stealing the spotlight immediately. They then went on to perform a "magic" show, which consisted of making things "magically" appear in this paws, like Mistoffelees' bow-tie. Said tom stormed up to the two – quite literally – and took his bow tie back, putting it back on in a big, showy motion, then snapping his fingers, suddenly having Rumpleteazer's famous Woolworth pearls in his paws. The queen looked shocked, and Mistoffelees smiled kindly before giving it back to her.

Demeter looked over to see her sister was sitting with the Rum Tum Tugger, trying to get him to smile. After some time of watching, the tom got up and strutted to the center as best he could with so many bandages covering him. "Dem?" he called, though he hardly had reason to get her attention. "Munk. Have you two thought of names, yet?"

Munkustrap nudged Demeter, then gave her an 'I told you,' look. Demeter avoided eye-contact with either tom. "No, we haven't, actually."

"Oh!" Jellylorum exclaimed, as the other cats joined the conversation. "We'll have to think of some to help you!"

"Uh-oh," Munkustrap breathed.

"What's wrong with them picking the names?" Demeter asked.

"I vote for Strappy Junior!" Bombalurina called.

"Forget I asked."

"Well," Skimbleshanks offered, "How about…Scotch? Gin? Kahlua?"

"We don't drink," Munkustrap said lowly. "And no cat should!" He gave Skimbleshanks an accusing look.

"How about Dosseldorf?' Jellylorum suggested.

"Mm..no," Munkustrap said, looking to Demeter, who looked horrified.

"Slappapity!" Pouncival suggested. Munkustrap gave him a stern look, and he went quiet.

"Chip! Sulfatovy!" Etcetera yelled. Everyone looked at her. "Okay, so I made that last one up on the spot, but the _first_ one is a good name!"

"Like 'Chip off the Old Block'," Tugger said. "How about naming it…Goldilocks, after the original over here." He indicated Demeter.

"Does anyone have a _good_ suggestion?" Munkustrap asked, scowling at the bad ones. Everyone booed him and some of the kittens threw balled up pieces of paper at him, which they immediately raced after to play with in a kittenish manner. The other cats decided they had to put their insights in, too.

"Licorice? Tillman? Madeline? Jaguar?"

"Sasuke? Sakura? Kiba? Hinata?"

"Priscilla? Elvis? Sonny? Cher?"

"Twyla? Shimmimi? Isisina? OH! Or Meowzy?"

"How about _The Kittens Who Have No Names_, and then number them, however many you have?"

Munkustrap groaned and left Demeter's side for a moment to stand up before the excited cats for a moment and yell, "STOP!" The other began laughing as they had upset the tabby.

Demeter laughed lightly until she noticed Mistoffelees slip off to the side. Confused, she looked back to see everyone was now teasing Munkustrap, as he was caught in the crowd of cats. She then slipped away as easily as she could and followed the tom. She saw him sit down and start pawing at something on the ground. Coming closer, she realized it was the music box, and he was, in fact, winding it. He then opened it up, where two cats, one white, one tuxedoed, twirled as though dancing together, without a care in the world. "What do you think?" he asked without looking back at the queen.

"How did you…" Demeter began to ask before realization dawned on her. "Oh…Mistoffelees…it's beautiful, but…"

"I know," he said sadly, turning to face her, his smile just as sad as his answer was.

"You're leaving..."

"Was it that obvious?"

"I thought you weren't going to use magic to make the music box work."

"I had no choice, in the end," he said. "I just needed to add one last touch." He slipped a paper into the device, which seemed impossible to get out unless the box was completely taken apart.

"Mistoffelees…please don't say you're doing this because of me." Demeter felt close to tears.

"It's my time to go, Dem," he said gently. "Yes, there were things about the past few days that made me finalize my decision, but I had been debating it for a while. Tonight…is the perfect chance."

"But everyone is celebrating."

"And they'll know that I mean to leave," Mistoffelees said. "At least I can give them that."

"Why _now_?" Demeter asked.

"Victoria…she spends more time with me than she does with her own mate. The problem, you know…is that I know I'm not going to stay here. _Plato will_. It was my mistake. I let myself get too bonded to her." Mistoffelees shrugged sadly and looked down to the music box. He picked up a little charm he must have found among the junk, freshly cleaned, and began rubbing it in his paws. "I used one of these charms in the music box, to transfer magic to it so it will last longer without me there. Kind of like a magical battery." He tried to laugh, but it reminded Demeter of a sob.

"You're leaving because you're too _bonded_?" Demeter asked, feeling her stomach tighten.

"Well…as you know, we're never here for long. It's like we're…"

"Ghosts," Demeter finished.

"I would say…dreams," Mistoffelees said, still rubbing the charm. Demeter thought a lot of heat must have been building in his paws. "They get lost in dreams, and mourn when they wake up. But eventually, they remember real life, and return to it. You can't live in a dream forever, after all. She needs to get back to Plato, to her friends, to her life. I can't do this to her anymore."

"I see," Demeter said sadly.

"I have a gift for you," Mistoffelees said, changing the subject. He then revealed the trinket to be a butterfly as he showed it to the queen. "I've always liked butterflies. They start off as caterpillars, but they always change into butterflies."

"I don't understand," Demeter said, shrugging. "It's just a bit of metal."

"And we're just cats, as far as any other cat can tell," Mistoffelees said with a smirk. "You know how you asked me why I was older than Cassandra, yet looked younger?"

"It has to do with butterflies?" Demeter asked, frowning.

"No," he laughed genuinely this time. "It's because I'm a full Jellicle. Half Jellicles, like Cassandra, age faster than me. And you two. Don't ask me how it works, probably has to do with genetics."

"_That_ word again," Demeter said, putting a paw to her stomach.

"All it means is that I've had more experience in this than you guys have. Doesn't mean we're any more different."

"How do you find something like that out?"

"Years of questioning my existence, and the existence of others. It's why I would love to stay and know more about your kittens. But…I can't even kitten-sit them, it seems. Probably better." He looked down sadly. "You know, I bet somewhere out there, there is a tribe with _real_ Jellicles, where no one has to hide what they are, and kittens grow up feeling normal in life, without the hate or fear of other cats. They suffer from heartbreak that other cats suffer from, and not the type _we_ do."

"Ideally, there is one," Demeter said.

"And we'll meet there again, some day," Mistoffelees agreed. "And find a true meaning to our existence." Demeter nodded in agreement, looking back where the cats of the tribe were, as they had suddenly burst out in a unified laugh. "There is something I want to do for you." Demeter looked back to the black and white. "What do you want for your kittens, Demeter?"

"What do I _want_?" Demeter nearly laughed. "I want them to be healthy, and most of all, _happy_. If they're Jellicles, I know what they're going to face. If they're not, I can't imagine what they would think of _me_. If I was…just normal…"

Mistoffelees tilted his head to side, thinking. "Do you think they'll be happy here, no matter what?"

"I don't know anything, anymore, Misto." The tom looked the queen over quickly, with an unreadable look in his eyes. He then walked up to her and put his paws gingerly on her stomach. Demeter gasped slightly at the sensation of whatever he was doing. For a moment, she stood still, letting him work whatever magic he was. Finally, she let out a scared gasp, and backed away. Mistoffelees gave her a quick, apologetic smile. "What did you do?"

"Wear this charm on your collar," he said, stepping up to the queen. She backed away. "You don't trust me?"

"Tell me what you're doing," Demeter said. "And then I'll answer that."

"I'm giving the kittens their gift," he smiled. Demeter squirmed uneasily. "I promise I won't hurt them, Dem." She sighed and nodded. "Think of it as a protection charm," the black and white tom said as he put the charm on her collar of the queen. "And one last thing, Dem."

"What's that?"

"A hug goodbye?" Mistoffelees smiled warmly. Demeter smiled back, and the two Jellicles hugged each other, Demeter beginning to sniffle sadly. "Don't cry. You're gunna make me sad."

"You should _already_ be sad," Demeter squeaked, before chocking back tears. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm gunna miss you, too," he said softly. Demeter closed her eyes and laid her head against the tom's head, sniffling, not wanting to let go. She felt his paws patting her on the back, as though trying to calm her down. She didn't know how long they had embraced for. Then he whispered. "Your mate is watching us."

Demeter slowly let go of the embrace. Then loudly, she said, "Thank you for the charm, Mistoffelees." She hiccupped from crying.

"You're very emotionally today, Dem," he said, patting her on the arm.

"I know," she said, as she covered her face. He felt a paw on her arm and looked up to see Munkustrap.

"Where did you go?" he asked softly. Then he saw the charm on her collar where a license should be. "Did he give you this?" he asked. Demeter nodded, still sniffling. He hugged her, letting her wipe her tears in his fur. To the conjurer, he playfully admonished, "Mistoffelees, you made her cry."

"Can I help it if I'm really good at choosing gifts for a mother-to-be?" Demeter looked back at the tom as her mate led her back to her party, as soon as her tears had dried. He went over to pick up his music box, before turning and smiling to her.

How could he have possibly lived through a long, torturous life as he had, and still be able to muster a smile?

Maybe it was all he had…

-----------

Demeter snuggled up next to Munkustrap, wrapped in a blue crocheted blanket that Jellylorum and Jennyanydots had made for her. There was also an adorable mouse made by Etcetera, who had managed to do something with a needle and a thread that Jennyanydots could never do. The day, turned night, was spent with lots of talk of kittens, and Jennyanydots spent a lot of time reminding everyone of how powerful a mother's instincts were. After all the attention, and considering the time of night, Demeter was very tired, and Munkustrap proved to be a very comfortable chair (though he was very uncomfortable by now.)

Cassandra sat down by herself to the side, a knowing smile on her face. Bombalurina stayed next to Tugger most of the night. Victoria was laying in Mistoffelees' lap after she had completely passed out from all the dancing. Plato looked furious, but said nothing. Mistoffelees showed Victoria the music box, but he didn't give it to her yet. He probably didn't want to enrage her mate any more than he already had.

Finally, Mistoffelees woke up the white queen, who seemed completely confused when she woke up outside. He eased her to the side, stood up and walked center stage. "Jellicle cats," he said, getting everyone's attention. Demeter looked to Bombalurina, who looked over to her as well. Cassandra simply watched, the smile faded from her face. "Tonight we celebrate the coming kittens of the queen, Demeter, and the tom, Munkustrap." There was applause and cheers and excited mewlings from the cats and kittens, as Demeter buried her face into Munkustrap's fur. She heard him chuckling at her reaction.

"Well, I think this was a great idea," continued the tuxedoed tom. "And I think it should be continued with every new litter."

"It was _your_ idea, Misto," Etcetera said, crinkling her nose. The others laughed. Mistoffelees rubbed his head.

"Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, I was hoping to entertain you all with a few magic tricks." He gave a look to the cat burglars. "_Real_ magic tricks." And so he began to entertain the toms and queens, all moonlit eyes on him.

Demeter heard Etcetera whisper to Electra, "And _I_ thought he was supposed to be _shy_." The tom pulled a rose out of nothing and handed it to the queen, and she squealed much like she did for the Rum Tum Tugger.

He performed many tricks that night, amazing people with his talent they didn't know he had. He even replicated the fire Victoria for everyone, making the white queen stare in disbelief. He quickly said that he began that enchantment with a Cassandra replica, and everyone laughed at the sudden embarrassed look from the sleek queen. Some tricks were more fascinating than others, some more humbling when Mistoffelees fumbled it up, or purposefully did so. Was he an exceptional actor, or truly a shy tom who hadn't gotten all the kinks worked out of his magic. Demeter prayed it was the latter, as she thought she was looking at the genuine conjuring cat for once, and that gave her hope.

After he made a broken vase disappear, and the cats cheered for him, he smiled sadly. Demeter took a deep breath as she watched the cat look at all the friends he had made. She unconsciously squeezed Munkustrap's paw, to which he asked if anything was wrong, but she quickly shook her head and said 'no'.

"And now," he said, bowing his head slightly. "There are some times when you have a moment, and you have to grab it, and hold onto it for as long as you can. If you don't, the moment passes, and you never have a chance to do what you wanted to then. _This is one of those moments._" He turned to one of the many little twinkling lights that had been lighting up the junkyard that night, reached out a paw, formed his fingers as though he were going to grab it, and snuffed out the light like a flame on a candle. The cats were hardly as impressed as they were with his other tricks, but they kept all attention on him, transfixed.

"A good lesson to teach a kitten growing up," he continued, "Is to recognize these moments, and learn when to embrace them. And learn not to regret them." He snuffed out another light with his magic in the same manner as before. "And now, for my grand finale." Another light snuffed out. "And I'll say goodnight to you. And remind you to turn your face to the dawn." Another light. "For the sunrise…for another new day."

Everyone was in silent awe as some strange music started up from somewhere. The cats barely cared for the source of the music as they watched the tom carefully snuffing out each light in the junkyard with nothing more than a gentle movement, never moving from his spot, as he slowly sent them into darkness. As the lights were snuffed out one by one, it seemed to the others that the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees was fading away as well. His black fur was blending into the increasing darkness, little by little, until barely any light was left, and all that could be seen was his white mask and bib.

One light left, behind the tom, as the cats watched in awe. He turned his back from the cats, almost completely immersed in the darkness but for the highlights of the last fading light. The tom clapped his hands on the last light, quickly snuffing it out, and leaving the cats in the darkness, waiting for the tom to turn around, showing his bright white mask to the moonlight again, and bowing to his audience, who were in stunned silence.

But that moment never came. The strange music slowed to one last struggling, twinkling note, painfully coming to an end. As soon as the note ended, the lights came back on in a flash, causing many of the cats to scream in surprise. In the middle of the junkyard, there was no Mistoffelees. Everyone looked around, waiting for him to pop out of some corner or out of the top hat. The seconds ticked away, and the murmurs from the cats became louder and more frantic.

Tugger rose to his feet and went to the middle of the chaos, where the conjurer was last seen, and everyone turned their face to what the tom was looking at. Slowly, a white queen rose to her feet and made her way to Tugger, staring down at the item left in the middle.

The source of the mystical music, the strange object on the ground: A music box, with two cats, a white queen and a tuxedoed tom, dancing the night away, as though they hadn't a care in the world.


	13. Moments

_A/N: Severe Writer's Block. You know what tends to help with that? Reviews! No, really, it's a known fact. See, there's this thing called instant gratification, and when people are rewarded for their actions just after it's done, they often enjoy it so much and do it again. (There was studies done with pidgeons on this, and so on...anyways...) Reviews are like that to an author. Or atleast, to me. So don't worry, I won't get addicted. I'm not a review whore. But I'm at a very trying time in my school work, as most of us know, and it helps to keep the creative mind working with a few reviews here and there. That was my speil, and now here is the chapter! Enjoy.  
_**  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 13 – Moments**

Another day, another search. The junkyard teemed with life as flashes of fur of every possible cat color streaked through the pathways. Yet they were all searching for a black and white tom. Without that, the rest of the cats seemed to lose their spirit, slowly, as the realization that they may never see the plain colored tom again slowly crept over them.

Their faces had turned from one of hope to one of slow acceptance. But everyone refused to say what each cat was slowly beginning to understand. Their demeanors showed their acceptance and the beginning of their grief, while they spoke as cheerily as they could of the tom who they longed to see again.

While each cat of various colors ran about, one queen whose coat was purified of any existing color walked slowly through the junkyard like a ghost. She never pretended. She always knew. But she never spoke a word of it. The others tried to talk to her, but she would hear nothing of it. And when her mate came near her, she drew away, as though disgusted with him, and retreated to her den. At a loss, Plato stayed with his tom friends many a night. And the only sound that was often heard was the now haunting tune of the music box.

Cassandra seemed heartbroken that the tom had left without properly saying goodbye to her. She had known him the longest, bonded to him the most, and was probably putting hopes on him that she otherwise wouldn't have done. When Demeter spoke to her, she muttered, "I never knew how it felt to be on the other side of things."

Demeter sat beside her, atop the old rocking chair. "Are you going to leave to?" she asked.

Cassandra looked down to the other cats in the tribe. Her eyes fell on many of them, seeing their reactions to the loss of a good friend. "No," she finally said. "I made it so they wouldn't care if I was here or gone, anyway. So I might as well stay a while. Get them less and less used to me, until one day they realize I'm never coming back. Maybe they'll think my owners moved away, or make up some story like that."

"I'm sure they'd miss you," Demeter said.

"Not like this," Cassandra said, shaking her head. "I keep telling myself not to hate him for leaving. But after seeing this chaos…I can't help it. He should have been more distant."

"He had to find a way to live with this somehow," Demeter said softly.

"And how are we to live with this?" Cassandra asked bitterly. "We'll never have a fire again. These cats will never have his incredible energy here again, and things will become much quieter. And she," she nodded over to the den where Victoria had disappeared into. "She may never dance again."

--------

Munkustrap cracked his eyes open as Demeter slowly trudged into the den, looking exhausted in every aspect of the word. Mistoffelees leaving seemed to have an odd effect on her, like she was constantly thinking of something. Lately, she would look over to Munkustrap, considering something, before turning away, as though she had come to a sad conclusion.

By now, the silver tabby had no idea what to do with his mate. She had been moody since the beginning of her pregnancy, and he put up with a lot of it, but there was a conflict so severe battling inside that head of hers, that it had caused her to shut down at whatever the twins had said or done to her. Yet the loss of a friend had her acting even odder. It was almost as though she had expected it.

To put his mind at ease, and not upset his mate any more than he already had by prying, he tried to put the pieces together in his head; that she expected anyone she got close to eventually to leave her life. Yes, that made sense, and he was quite proud of himself for having been so clever as to figure that out. But upon further thought, she must have thought _he_ was ready to leave, too.

It would only make sense, how she would be so affectionate and kind at one moment, and the next, become so distant. It was the only way to put his mind at ease for now, until he could hopefully ask her about it later. He had to think of the kittens, and how difficult everything must be for her at the time.

"Demeter?" he got up and stretched. The queen quietly turned her attention to the tom. He rose to his feet and walked over to her, putting a paw in her paw, and lifting it up, making her look him in the eye. "I want you to know that whatever happens, I'll always love you and never leave you."

Demeter smiled sadly. Munkustrap was determined to make her believe him. "No, I mean it. I'll travel to hell and back for you, if you would let me!"

"You wouldn't have to," Demeter said matter-of-factly. "I would drag you there and leave you to rot. Not on purpose, but these things tend to happen when I'm involved."

Munkustrap flinched. _Surely_ she was joking. He let out a nervous chuckle, and when she smiled in return, he tried to calm down a bit. "That's darker humor than I expect from you."

"Life tends to favor that type of irony," Demeter said. Munkustrap stared at his queen. He was almost tempted to say someone switched her body and was making her speak so out of character. He shook his head.

"You know what I'm going to ask you," he said softly.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked. "If only it were so easy to explain. But it's not." She shook her head. "When you look at Victoria, what do you see?"

"She's…very depressed," Munkustrap said.

"I wouldn't say depressed," Demeter reasoned. "More…that she's _dying_." Munkustrap glanced over to the entryway, feeling ready to bolt over to Victoria's den and make sure she was okay. "I _mean_ to say, that when someone you love leaves you, it feels like your hearts been shattered. And when you're given no reason, the only thing you can do is wait for answers, and none will ever come. And that slowly kills you. You never recover from that, and you're not who you were anymore. You become something else. I've never seen it before, but I see it now. You never wake from the dream. You just walk into a nightmare, and no one can wake you up."

"Demeter…" Munkustrap stopped her. "Victoria has her entire family behind her. If there is one thing that should always be there, it's family. Mistoffelees…he betrayed her trust and left. He didn't care enough to--"

"He did care!" Demeter snapped, suddenly becoming angry and pulling away from the tom. "And what Victoria is going through, he's gone through a millions times worse over and over again until he's become what he is now and believes what he does now. It's not his fault! It's the _Everlasting Cat_! He made us this way!" Demeter flinched at her own words before regaining her composure.

"Us?" Munkustrap pressed. But Demeter seemed to teeter on her feet. He quickly caught her before she fell and sat her down. "Calm down! You're in no condition to be getting so upset!"

Demeter took in a few shaky breaths. "Munkustrap," she said meekly. "I don't know what's going to happen to any of us. To Bomba, me, the kittens, to…you…" She let her head hang. "I'm scared."

----------

Bombalurina stood by the Rum Tum Tugger as he looked up on a fence. A flier was there with a little black and white tom wearing a bow tie, being held by a little girl. The words, "Missing" "Reward" and "We miss our Kitty" were all Bombalurina cared to read.

"I didn't know he had a family," Bombalurina said.

"Has," Tugger corrected coldly, as he walked past the pole and walked in a certain direction. Bombalurina followed behind him, as they walked through the neighborhoods and finally arrived at a quaint little human house. There was a cat entrance on the back door, and in the backyard there were corks, knifes, and forks gathered around, with a human sized top hat and some cards strewn about.

"He really made himself at home," Bombalurina said mournfully.

"He told me," Tugger began, as he looked down at one of the playing cards, picking up a queen of hearts. "That when he came into the area, he began looking for a place to stay. This family fed stray cats, so he came back every day. He was very friendly with them, so they accepted him into the family…bought him a collar…bought him a cat bed, though he always slept in the hall…"

"I see," Bombalurina said.

"He always seemed a little sad to talk about his humans," Tugger said, as he walked up to the kitty door.

"Where are you going?"

"The humans aren't home."

"No! Tugger!" Bombalurina raced up to the tom and pulled his arm back, to which the cat yowled in pain and turned for the first time that day looking at the red queen. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to touch your injured arm…"

"Leave me alone, Bomba," barked the tom. "It's bad enough I'm like this because of your _insane_ sister. Now I have to find my best friend." The queen was dumbfounded. The tom sighed. "Go away, Bomb. I don't need you right now." He turned tail and went into the house. Bombalurina stood there as she heard Tugger call for Mistoffelees inside of the house. She tried to ignore the pit in her stomach, the sadness in her heart.

Instead she decided to wait in the bushes, waiting for the tom to come out and head home. She would follow him from afar, make sure he was okay, and make sure he makes it back to the junkyard fine. Then she didn't know what she would do. She wore out her usefulness to the tribe, it seemed. All the time they had stayed had decreased her status in the tribe, and Bombalurina didn't trust for one second that she could rebuild her status and earn her desired protection.

But what would she be able to do now? Try her best to forget. Sit back and forget.

----------

Demeter was in her den alone, mindlessly shuffling about, arranging new items to her liking, throwing some old, useless stuff out, and dragging some nice, comfy things in. Where their little bed had once laid, there were now two extra pillows to create an even grander bed, blankets strewn about, and a blue crocheted blanket atop it all. It began at the bottom, but through Demeter's constant reworking of the blankets, it made its way to the top.

She then stepped back to look at her handy work. Almost perfect. She walked back to the bed and took some blankets in her paws before pulling them away forcefully, teetering backwards.

The loud squeak was heard throughout the junkyard, and eventually, Munkustrap came back to his den. He looked down at the queen struggling to get to her feet. "What happened to you!" Munkustrap asked with a mix of concern and amusement as he helped her to her feet. "And…what happened to our den?"

Demeter dusted her tail off. "I don't know," she said. "It just…isn't right! When did we get so much junk in here?"

"Dem?" Munkustrap smirked. "We live in a junkyard."

"Well," Demeter huffed, as she went back to the blankets and tried to pull them out to rearrange them again. She teetered slightly, but was Munkustrap ready to catch her this time. "That doesn't mean we have to make our den a reflection of where we live!"

"Hmm…" Munkustrap nodded as he pried the blankets out of Demeter's paws. "This must be the _nesting_ Jennyanydots was talking about. I was wondering when—Those are my favorite blankets, Dem! Leave them!" He finally won the battle for the blankets and tossed them haphazardly on the cushions, laughing at Demeter's horror. He then sat her down on the blankets, then followed, laying on his back and looking as though he had never been more comfortable in his life.

Demeter reached to fix one of the blankets, and Munkustrap grabbed her paw, pulled her down, and held her tight. "See?" he said. "Nice and comfy."

Demeter pouted but tried to let it go.

---------

The Rum Tum Tugger came home seemingly by himself. All eyes were on him as he entered. Not one cat noticed the pair of eyes that watched him to make sure he got home safe. Everyone was concerned with him, as they should be.

No on cared to notice Bombalurina crawl into the junkyard a few hours later, her eyes puffy, her demeanor sullen. She crept into a corner, and fell asleep for the night.

----------

Munkustrap woke up to see Demeter looking at him with a smile on her face. He glanced out the window to see that it was just before dawn, then looked back up at her. "You know what I'm thinking?" she said.

"Pregnant queen slays silver tabby?"

Demeter cuffed the tom. "No," she frowned. Then playfully, she said, "Running away together! Away from all of this! Just you and me and the kittens, and we could live happily ever after."

"Dem," he smiled and kissed her on her forehead. "Don't be silly and go back to sleep."

"No, I mean it," Demeter nodded. "It wouldn't be too hard to run with the kittens as they are now…"

"How do you expect to run in your condition? You have trouble standing, let alone running away."

"You're supposed to carry me," Demeter said. "I've thought that much through."

"Why are you saying all this?" he asked lazily.

"Because, I…" She took a deep breath. "I'll never get another moment like this. This is my only chance."

Now Munkustrap was at attention. "To leave?"

"Yes," Demeter said, then shook her head. "I mean, no. I mean…I have some courage right now…if I can just tell you everything…"

The tom sat up straight, forgetting sleep had just evaded him. "I'm listening."

"But I can't now," Demeter said. "Not here. You have to come with me, somewhere, far from here, where we can be safe, and it would just be us. And I would know that you wouldn't turn on me."

"Turn on you?" Munkustrap asked. "Why would I turn on you? Dem," he sighed, suddenly upset again. "I'm not like the toms you knew in the past."

"I know that," Demeter said, putting a paw on her stomach. "I know that very well, but you're still a _cat_." Munkustrap stared. "Well, yes, I know I'm stating the obvious." She groaned in frustration. "This isn't easy for me. You have no idea what I've been through."

"Then just tell me," he urged. "I promise you, I'm not going to turn on you, or whatever you're afraid will happen."

"You'll look at me differently," Demeter said. "If nothing else. I have nothing without my mother to look for anymore. That's all Bomba and I have been working for since she left us, and we don't have her anymore. Everything was supposed to be okay when she was with us again, and now we don't even know what happened to her. And…I thought that all I had left was Bomba, but she wasn't there for me. And then there was _you_. So now all I have is you, it seems. And I just can't think of what will happen if you leave me! I couldn't handle it."

"I'm not going to leave you," Munkustrap said desperately, suddenly scared by Demeter's intensity. "You have to believe me, Dem. I love you, I'm you mate! I wouldn't leave you."

"But that's just the thing," Demeter said. "You say you wouldn't leave me. But what if I said I would leave you, no matter what?"

Munkustrap stared in disbelief. "What?" he hissed. Demeter looked down.

"No, it's not that you would do anything," she said. "But leaving is what we do. What Bomb and I used to do. It's all we know!"

"You want to leave me?" Munkustrap asked, hurt.

"No, I don't _want_ to," Demeter said.

"But you would," he said, suddenly angry. "Just because you're used to it? Is that what

you're saying?"

"I don't know. I shouldn't have said anything. This came out all wrong," Demeter put her paws to her head. But Munkustrap sat in silence, jaw clenched in anger.

"And that's why you defend Mistoffelees?" he asked. "Leaving without a trace is something that's okay with you? That's what you plan to do to me?"

"I…Munkustrap, please calm down! I'm having enough trouble trying to say what I mean to say."

"I think I'm hearing what you're saying _perfectly_ _fine_, Dem," he said, getting up suddenly. He jerked towards the den entrance, then back, then towards the entrance again, unsure of what to do. "I need to process this." He walked out the door.

"Wait!" Demeter squeaked, struggling to get to her feet quickly. "Munkustrap, you have to hear everything I'm trying to say! Mu--" She grimaced in pain as she finally got to her feet, but ignored it as she tried her best to follow her mate. Suddenly filled with terror that he wouldn't come back, she felt she couldn't leave him out of her sights.

"Mu-Munkustrap!" she panted as she started to race as fast as she could after him. "Stop, please! Listen to me, will you?" The tom's hackles were raised as he stormed off. He was much faster than she. "Munkustrap! I'm _carrying a litter_ here! I can't walk as fast as you!" Demeter thanked the Everlasting Cat that Munkustrap couldn't let her pleas go, as he stopped in his tracks and clenched his fist, as though angry with himself for being brought up with proper manners.

"Demeter, I think I need to be alone right now."

"Well, can't you be alone with me?" Demeter asked. "I…can't chase you anymore." She grabbed her sides before sitting down on an old wooden box, groaning in pain, closing her eyes. She heard footfalls coming close to her and added a sigh of relief to her groans of pain. When she opened her eyes, Munkustrap was looking down at her with a mixture of emotions on his face.

"When I say I want to be alone, that tends to mean I want to be by myself."

'No kidding,' Demeter thought bitterly to herself. Out loud, she said, "I didn't want you to leave me."

"Like you would like to leave me?" he hissed.

"It's not that, Munku," she said. She could feel tears prickling in her eyes, and while she would do anything to stop them, she was in far too much pain and too exhausted and emotional to do so. As the tears began to fall, she mourned her lost moment, and the reemergence of the only thing she knew how to do: lie. "I want to stay. I want to stay with you. But I'm so used to leaving before things get too serious…because we couldn't stay too long.

"We needed to find my mother as soon as possible. For us. We weren't going to stay here long because we needed to find our mother." She sighed. She couldn't say anymore.

"But then you found out she had died," Munkustrap finished for her. "Demeter," he said forcefully, kneeling and taking her paw in his paws. "Just tell me you won't leave me, and everything will be okay. You don't have to cry. We can forget this entire conversation, and you won't have to worry anymore. Because I would do anything to keep you by my side."

'I don't believe you,' were the words that wanted to come out of her mouth. "Munkustrap…I'm…kind of in a lot of pain here."

"So am I, Dem. You have to realize how much some words hurt…"

"No, I mean..." She stopped and groaned. "I mean I'm in actual…real pain. Very real pain!"

Munkustrap gave her a questioning look. "What?" She put a paw on her stomach, before closing her eyes and choking down a cry of pain. "Oh…OH!" Munkustrap leapt to his feet. "What? They're come now?"

"Well, I don't know," she said between clenched teeth. "It certainly feels like it."

"Here?"

"Everlasting Cat, NO!" she yelled. "I'm having my kittens in the nice little nest I made, no matter what!" She then gasped in pain. "Oh, I didn't think it actually hurt this much…"

"Come on," Munkustrap said as he picked the queen up and carried her in his arms. "Are you okay?"

"Uh…A little uncomfortable, but…I'll be okay." She buried her face in his fur as she was carried back to the den. "Munkustrap?" she whispered.

"I'm hurting you?"

"No…I have to say," she took a deep breath, looking up to the tom as he concentrated on getting to their den as fast as he could. "I run back and forth on things when it comes to you," she admitted. "Because I don't know what will happen. And I'm scared."

"You don't have to be scared, Demeter, I'll never leave you, no matter what."

'Just say it in return, Demeter,' she told herself, knowing Munkustrap was thinking the same thing. Instead, she opted for something different. "I've never cared about something more than you."

"That will change come morning," Munkustrap said, smiling to his mate.

The sun began to rise, and a new day was dawning. And when the cats of the junkyard would assemble there in the morning to look for one lost tom, they would find three new members of the tribe.

* * *

_A/N #2: The source of my writer's block was deciding what to do next to get to the next big part of the story. Then I couldn't decide what conflicts to save for later. In the end, this is what came out. I didn't want it to be ground shaking, but I had to set up the next leg of the story. Anyways...here's hoping writer's block won't hold me captive for two weeks again! Until next chapter...And tell me what you think!_


	14. Whiskers on Kittens

_A/N: I wrote a reference to something Tugger did, and then realized it was from someone's experience seeing it at West End. When Etcetera screamed, he stuck his tail in her mouth to make her be quiet, instead of just putting his paw over her mouth. Just thought I would point that out._

**Chapter 14 – Whiskers on Kittens**

Bombalurina ignored the excited whispers of the cats in the morning. She did her best to try and be thrilled by the news, but she couldn't muster up even a fake smile. Others asked what the matter with her was; after all, she was a new aunt. She should be more excited. Other's held it up to the fact that she came home late the night before. Maybe she hadn't let the news hit her yet.

The Rum Tum Tugger watched her as she passed him. "Hey, listen, Bomb, I…" Bombalurina put up a paw to silence him, and kept walking past him, eyes forward, her lips thin. "Come on, Bomba…"

"I have to go see my _insane_ sister," she said. "You know how it is. Family obligations and all."

But instead, she had to linger nearby the den, watching as several cats were driven out. She heard the low growling if they tried to come back in. And she reveled in the annoyed look on Munkustrap's face.

"Trouble?" she asked when Munkustrap sulked on by.

"Her instincts kicked in," said the silver tabby over his shoulder as he continued walking. "And she doesn't want anyone near the kittens."

"How sad for you," Bombalurina muttered under her breath, smiling wickedly as the tom sulked.

She was beginning to loathe that tabby.

-----------

Demeter looked down at the squirming little kittens next to her. She had fallen asleep for a while. Or, at least, what she could call sleep. Any little movement woke her up. Their tiny little mewlings made her smother them with attention, licking them all over and purring softly.

She smiled at the tiny kitten who tried squirming up to her face. Demeter licked the kitten gently, before looking at it closely. It was impossible; to care for something so much that she just met! Frankly, she didn't understand. By all means, she should care less for the creature in front of her, or at least feel sad to look at it…

Demeter poked the tiny kitten with her digit. It flipped over, then mewed in dismay. Demeter quickly flipped it back over, and brought it close in apology, purring to it and nuzzling it. It _was_ possible to love something so much so quickly.

As the kittens drank their milk, the queen dutifully cleaned them off. The kittens eyes were close, as were their ears, so their world consisted only of their mother's warmth.

Three kittens, and all of them looked so different.

The first born, already the most active, if that was possible with only her ability to squirm around, was a grey and white kitten. White muzzle, bib, and paws, she was grey everywhere else, with tabby markings, a darker grey, but not as dark as her father's markings. A female, Chanterelle.

The second born, a blonde and white kitten, with white limbs, underbelly, and face. His ears were blonde, as well as his back and tail. There were tabby markings there as well, but so faint, Demeter had to look closely to tell. A male, Porthos.

The third born, an oddball, as well as the runt, with brown coloring and black tabby stripes. The underbelly was a cream color, and his paws black, as well as very dark pads on his feet. A male, Raine.

They were all beginning to mew, and Demeter's heart melted as they squirmed about. She didn't want them to cry! So she nuzzled them and tried her best to get them to stop.

"Ahem." Munkustrap peeked in, smiling proudly. "_Now_ may I come in?" Demeter looked to the tom in shock, before covering the kittens with her tail. She growled lowly to the tom, reminiscent of when she had kicked everyone out of the den earlier. In her opinion, Jennyanydots had come too close, and something in her suddenly became very protective of her litter.

But upon the disappointed look on Munkustrap's face, she gave way to her exhaustion and let her head fall on the bed. She then moved her tail so the silver tabby could see his progeny. When he smiled again, she was glad. She was tired of hurting him…

Cautiously, Munkustrap crept in, looking down to his kittens. He looked to Demeter to make sure she was okay. The silver tabby nuzzled her on the cheek, before carefully picking up Chanterelle. She mewed in confusion, calling for her mother to help her. Demeter sat up, unsure of what to do.

Munkustrap began to purr to the tiny kitten, and the mewling became less. He held her close. "Hello, little one," he said softly, licking her on the head, making her fur stand on end. "She kinda looks like me," he said proudly.

"They all have stripes like you," Demeter said wearily. "You _had_ to be a tabby. One female, and she looks nothing like her mother!"

"You sound jealous," Munkustrap marveled. He carefully took Porthos up and brought him close, then Raine, leaving Demeter feeling very lonely. She whimpered, just once, at the loss of the kitten's warmth. Then she told herself to be grateful for a break. But that was hardly calming. It was all she could do to try and stop herself from crawling over to her kittens and taking them back. But she was _so tired_. And Munkustrap seemed to see what she was doing, and stopped her by covering her with a blanket. "You should rest, Dem."

"I could rest fine _with_ them," Demeter countered. She reached out to take her kittens back.

"I won't let anything happen to them," Munkustrap promised, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You've done enough. Let me do something now." He looked down to his kittens and smiled warmly. "Protecting is what I do best." Demeter could hardly protest her own mate wanting to spend time with his kittens. But she felt bonded with them already, and yearned to keep them close to her. Munkustrap, however, was otherwise oblivious to the queen's stress at the moment.

"Hello, my little ones," he said softly, purring to the kittens. "Welcome to the world. I'll be your father for your stay here. On your left, you'll see your mother, Demeter. Don't worry, she doesn't always look that tired." The queen scowled at Munkustrap, but he continued in his soft, proud voice. "It's a cold, chilly night, at about 12 degrees Celcius, so remember to stay close to one another or your mother or father…"

"Everlasting Cat, Munku," Demeter sighed. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"

"Shh, I'm not done," he smirked. "So, once again, we'd like to welcome you home. We hope you have a nice stay."

Demeter began to drift off to sleep, but she refused to give in while her kittens were away from her. They began to mew again as they pressed up against Munkustrap's fur. "Hmm? What's that? You're hungry?" Demeter was thankful she would get her kittens back.

One by one, the silver tabby picked up the kittens, kissed them on the head, and hugged them close, in a way Demeter had never seen her mate express emotion before. She watched in awe as the tabby placed each kitten gingerly down next to their mother, looking sad to part from them. He covered them with a blanket so they couldn't get cold, then came up close to Demeter. The gold queen looked up to him. "Munkustrap, I…"

"Should get some sleep?" he asked. He began fussing over the blanket covering her and the kittens. "You spent a lot of energy trying to protect them. Not that I'm _upset_…because I thought it was good to see you so passionate about them. I had to admit, I was a little worried about how you would react when the kittens were born, but now, I-" He was cut off when Demeter leaned up and kissed him on the lips. Caught off guard, it took a few moments for the tabby to melt into the kiss as well.

They only pulled away when they heard one of the kittens make a fuss, and both looked to make sure he was okay. Then Munkustrap smiled to Demeter. "I love you, too."

----------

For the next few days, wherever Munkustrap went in the junkyard, others praised him, or patted him on the back. There were new kittens in the world, and though they hadn't seen them yet, they were assured that they were the cutest things on earth. Many couldn't wait until they were old enough, or for the chance to see them, as Demeter wasn't letting anyone in their den, not even to check if they were okay. She was barely leaving the den herself. She would have all but disappeared if it weren't for Munkustrap bringing her food and water and keeping her comfy as she protectively watched over her kittens. A little too protectively, but Munkustrap held it up to her past.

There was, however, sadness to the celebration. The one thing everyone ended up saying was how they wished Mistoffelees was there to see the kittens. He loved kittens so much. That made the mystery all the more confusing. Why would he up and leave when one of his friends was just having kittens?

Munkustrap left to tell Old Deuteronomy the news of his grand kittens. The old cat frequented the junkyard less and less these days, so Munkustrap thought it was a good chance to check on his health, as well.

--------

Munkustrap came back later that day. He smiled to his kittens, who were doing what kittens do best: being cute. He nuzzled each one of them, and then looked up to Demeter, who looked away. "What's the matter?"

"You were gone all day," she said mournfully.

"I know, I told you…I had to go see Old Deuteronomy."

"What did he say?" she asked, ears perked up in interest.

"That he was glad that the kittens were healthy and we were all doing well," he announced as her nudged Chanterelle in an effort to make her more comfortable. "And that he hopes that we are a happy family. You know, _best wishes_ and all."

"You don't seem too happy with that," Demeter noted.

"Well…I thought he would be more excited. Instead, he looked…worried. I don't know why, though. Did he think I wouldn't take good care of my kittens?"

"He probably thought I was going to be a bad mother," Demeter pointed out.

"He wouldn't think that, Dem," he frowned. "He's really fond of you, you know that!"

Demeter sighed. "Munkustrap…I'm really thirsty."

Munkustrap stared. "You mean to say you've been in here all day, thirsty, because I haven't been back?" Demeter looked off to the side. Munkustrap sighed. "Dem, you have to take care of yourself, too. The others here will watch the kittens just fine if you leave for a second! This isn't good for you, you know." He started to pull Demeter up, but she became dead weight. "Come on, Dem! You're being so kittenish! Nothing will happen! I'll take care of my kittens, you take care of yourself."

"Can't you get water for me?" Munkustrap gave her a look. "I don't want to leave them, Munku. I want to stay with them! Please don't make me leave."

"They'll be _fine_," he grunted the last word as he tried to pull Demeter up again. "_Demeter_! You need to take care of yourself. Go out, get some fresh air! The kittens are counting on you to be healthy. They'll open their eyes any day now, and you don't want to look like your _dying_, now do you?"

"Munkustrap!" she said as she forcefully pulled away, nearly making the silver tom fall onto the queen and her litter. "They need me to keep their body temperatures up! They're so cold if they're away from me."

"Hmm," Munkustrap said with a droll look on his face. "Yes, I see how that can be a problem, seeing as how you're the only cat who has the ability to produce body heat."

"Don't be sarcastic," Demeter frowned. "And what if they're hungry, and I'm not here? Hmm? Have no answer to that? Or can you miraculously produce milk, now?"

"You won't be able to either, if you don't eat and drink right." Demeter cursed his quick thinking on that matter. She cuddled close to her kittens, licking Raine all over, trying to ignore Munkustrap's piercing gaze. Finally, she sighed.

"You have to keep them close," she said warningly. "It's been cold lately…And they're a little sleepy right now, so they shouldn't be giving you too much trouble. But if they do, just…um…I don't know, groom them until I come back. And don't forget to purr to them to let them know you're not going to hurt them. They might not recognize your scent. And tell me if any of them start sneezing. I think Chanterelle has a cold or something, and I've been a little worried. And--"

"Dem!" Munkustrap put his tail in her mouth to make her be quiet. "The world won't collapse if I take care of them. Don't worry."

Demeter spit the tail out. "You've been hanging around Tugger too much." She then moved as gently as she could, not to disturb the tiny little kittens, and letting Munkustrap take her place, bringing the kittens close to him. On Demeter's prompting, he purred to the kittens as he licked little Porthos all over. He was beginning to fuss. (The kitten, not the tom.)

"Not too much," Demeter said. At the look from her mate, she put up her paws in defeat and reluctantly left to get herself some water and fresh air.

---------

Bombalurina looked in on the den and was surprised to see Demeter was gone. She had been waiting for a chance to see the kittens, but didn't feel like dealing with her sister's wrath. She knocked lightly on the entrance way, getting Munkustrap's attention.

"Strappy-kins?" she purred, forcing a smile on her face. "How's the new father?"

"Heh," he brought his attention back to the kittens, one of which had crawled his way up to his arms, and was now nestled in a hug. "Demeter would have convulsions if she saw someone else in here."

Bombalurina twitched her ear. "I just wanted to see my nieces or nephews," she said more scathingly than she had meant to. No one really knew if they were males or females. Just that there were three of them.

"I guess it can't hurt," he said, getting up gently. "Demeter needed to get out of the den for a bit. She's barely left since the kittens were born."

"What are their names?" she asked, crawling close and lifting up a blanket where one had hidden itself. She picked up the brown tabby carefully.

"Uh, Bomba," Munkustrap said, mirroring Demeter's nerves. "Maybe you shouldn't hold him."

"He's a little odd ball," Bombalurina said, holding the kitten close, who began mewing in distress, causing Munkustrap to shift nervously in his place. "I wonder if he got that from our dad. Give me an insight to what kind of cat he was, at least in looks alone." Then she laughed at the irony. "Figures he would go and be something as common as a brown tabby."

"Bomba," Munkustrap said warningly. "Please put Raine down. He doesn't know what's going on."

"Raine," Bombalurina marveled. "Who picked that name, you or Dem? I'm pretty sure it was you. Dem has a fondness for the weird names. Like yours."

"Please, Bomba, just give him back to me," a hint of panic began to ring in his voice.

"Why is he crying?" Bombalurina pouted. "Is he hungry or something?"

"He's scared," Munkustrap said, now sitting with the kittens hidden away in between his paws, and reaching a paw out for the third. "He doesn't know you."

"Well," Bombalurina shrugged. "He should probably _get_ to know me." Both cats turned at the sound of growling behind the red queen. Before Bombalurina could react, there was a sharp pain across her face, and a flash of gold in front of her. Demeter had taken the kitten back and was now sitting on her haunches, glaring at her sister. "Dem…"

"Get out of here," hissed the queen in an unrecognizable voice. "Now." The red queen looked over to Munkustrap, who looked just as shocked. "Go." Munkustrap nodded to the red queen, telling her it was probably in her best interest. So the red queen slowly turned and left the small family. After walking safely away from the den, she put a paw to her cheek, and realized her sister had scratched her.

Bombalurina let out a small whimper, before falling silent and walking to her den.

------

"I told you to _watch_ them," Demeter yelled to the silver tabby, after taking the kitten back to her and covering them in a blanket. "That means keeping them safe from _everyone_!"

"Dem, that was uncalled for," Munkustrap yelled back. "She's your sister!"

"If it was up to her," Demeter snapped, "You would never have _seen_ your kittens!"

"What?' Munkustrap asked. "Dem, I think you're dehydrated, you don't know what you're saying."

"All of them out there, Munkustrap," Demeter said, looking towards the entrance of their den. "All of them are trying to pull us apart! Our family! Before it even began! Is it too much to ask that I have my family with me, even for just this little while? Can't I be selfish?"

"Not at the rate of hurting your sister, Dem. She's your family, too! And what do you mean if it was for her, I wouldn't have seen my kittens."

"Nothing!" Demeter threw up her paws in defeat. "Absolutely nothing. Munku, listen to me! I know I must seem absolutely crazy to you lately, but I have my reasons! I know, I know, you're going to say that I should _tell_ you. But I'm going to tell you, instead, to trust me. Just you and me and the kittens, and we'll be fine! Alright? At least, for now. Just for now. Until I know they're going to be okay! Until I know what I'm going to do! I'm tired of fighting with you."

"We only fight because I don't understand where you're coming from!" Munkustrap said louder than he meant to.

"Just accept it, please, for my sake!"

Munkustrap groaned in frustration. "_You're never going to make sense to me, are you_?" he said helplessly, almost pleadingly. He sat and looked at his mate, the queen he fell in love with, and saw her, for one moment, differently. He used to see a broken queen that he had been trying to fix. Now he was beginning to wonder if she wasn't all there to begin with. If she was, in fact, crazy, and only appeared normal because he looked at her through the eyes of someone in love.

He hoped the sudden fear didn't show on his face, as he turned away, pretending he was considering what she said. "For now," he said, choosing his words carefully. "For now, it'll just be you and me and the kittens. Until they're a few weeks old. And we'll introduce them to the tribe. Is that alright?"

"Yes…" Demeter said, amazed.

"Have you gotten enough to drink? Enough air?" he asked, looking out the entrance of the den.

"Yes." She said, now seemingly confused.

Munkustrap forced on a smile and looked to the queen. "Good. Now, I've been out all day, and I haven't had a chance to eat, so I'm going to hunt. Are you going to be okay by yourself for a while?" Demeter nodded. "Okay. I'll be back later." Mechanically, he made sure that she and the kittens were covered well, and kissed Demeter on the forehead, before nuzzling the kittens and walking out into the night.

The silver tabby felt he was seeing the entire junkyard in a new light. He had grown up here, been here all his life, and suddenly everything seemed so foreign. Things were different, though nothing had really changed. Yet, everything had changed.

He had made the decision. He had to keep Demeter calm, and make sure she was happy. Everything had to seem normal. And he would have to be constantly checking in on her and the kittens, to make sure they were okay. That Demeter hadn't _harmed_ them in any way.

That wasn't to say he thought she _would_ harm the kittens. But he came to the realization that he knew nothing about his mate. _Absolutely nothing_. And he was utterly terrified for his kittens. They needed their mother, but he wasn't sure how safe they were with her. So he had to find out. Demeter had an entire past he knew nothing about. And it was time he knew it.

Munkustrap followed the sound of the music box to Victoria's den. He knocked to come in, and Victoria barely noticed him, waving him in with her tail. Or he assumed it was an invite. Either way, he came in. "Victoria? How are you doing?"

The white queen sat up, forcing herself back to reality, and looking to the silver tabby. "I'm okay, Munkustrap…" she whispered.

"Victoria…I need to talk to you," he said, looking behind him to make sure no one was nearby, listening, and then scooted close to the white queen. "Mistoffelees' leaving is hard for all of us," he began gently, hoping not to lose the queen's attention.

"You've found something out?" she asked. Munkustrap's heart wrenched at the hopeful sound in her voice.

"I don't know," he said, looking away from the crestfallen look on her face. "But I need to know something, Victoria. Something I'm hoping you know. See, Mistoffelees was friends with a lot of cats, even the ones who were otherwise loners. And I'm assuming you know a lot of what Mistoffelees knows."

"I…suppose so," Victoria said.

"I need to know…where do Coricopat and Tantomile live?"

* * *

_A/N: Semester is almost over! Finals are killer... _


	15. Old and New Wounds

_A/N: I tried to go over this a little more carefully than the last chapter (and I've already edited once to fix a mistake pointed out to me), so hopefully there aren't any major grammatical mistakes. They bring me deep shame. Okay, so that was melodramatic, but I really do hate making them, heh. Enjoy._

**Chapter 15 – Old and New Wounds**

Munkustrap looked down to the tiny kitten, Chanterelle. She had just opened her eyes for the first time, and he greeted her with a smile. She mewed to her father, and the tom nuzzled the tiny queen. Demeter smiled at the exchange. "Of course she would be the first to open her eyes," she whispered. "You keep bothering her; she had to see who it was that kept her from sleeping."

"I've always wanted a daughter," he said, not bothering to look up to Demeter. She flicked the end of her tail, but said nothing.

Things had gotten awkward between them. Demeter had played this game all too often to know what he was doing. The looks on his face, as though forced; his tone of voice even; his affection displaced. He was avoiding her, even though they were right next to each other. And she felt terrified. 'He knows,' she thought to herself, feeling her heart race at the thought.

_The cold eyes staring at them. The fake smile turned on them. The body language completely different. The cats had not changed, but their perceptions on the two queens had become distorted. They looked at them like they were maggots that crawled on their food, making everything distasteful and vile. _

_What's worse, Demeter could not tell if it was what they are or what they pretended to be that the cats hated. Cats she never liked that she pretended to love now hated her for her deceit. Their secret was always guarded, but with the reality of what they were having been ripped opened, they were completely exposed to the truth and the fantastic ideas that came with it to fill in the gaps. Again and again, she allowed herself to be hated. And the pain that was inflicted on them sometimes wasn't enough._

"_Stop it," Bombalurina said suddenly. Demeter thought her sister was asleep. But the queen didn't even need to open her eyes to know what Demeter was doing. "Stop hurting yourself." Demeter's nails were imbedded into her own flesh, as though she was hoping to cut out the misery in her life, and hoped to make herself feel better. _

Demeter began to groom her arm, trying to forget the memories that were surfacing again. She never wanted anyone to look at her kittens that way. It was enough she saw signs of Munkustrap looking at _her_ that way.

"_I don't know who would hurt an angel like you."_

Demeter flinched. Munkustrap was sitting right in front of her, but he hadn't said a word. Yet his voice rang clearly in her head. Subconsciously, her paws drifted to her scars. She shook her head quickly, trying to clear her mind and remember where she was, causing the charm on her collar to jingle.

"Hmm?" Munkustrap looked up, regarding her with an almost business-like decorum.

"I…" She hadn't meant to call his attention. "Munkustrap, are you okay? You've seemed a little different lately."

"I just have a lot to deal with lately," he said, looking back down to the kittens.

'Don't lie to me,' her voice hissed in her head. 'Everything about you has changed!' But she had to swallow her panic. Her natural instinct was that it was time to leave. Her sister and she would have left long ago. Their charade had gone on long enough, and they couldn't risk being found out. And were it not for the kittens suckling at her breasts, she would disappear before she felt prosecuted by the tribe she cares for.

As long as her mate loved the kittens before him, she knew everything would be okay. But Heaviside forbid the moment he looks at them with the same disregard he showed to her.

--------

"Demeter?" The queen looked up to see Cassandra standing at the entryway of the den. Instantly, she curled herself over her kittens and hissed. "I'm not here to do anything with the kittens. I'm here to talk to you. We did so for quite a while, as short lived as it was." The gold queen flicked her tail. "I miss talking to you," she admitted.

Slowly, Demeter uncurled herself from her kittens, and made sure they were huddled up as close as could be before covering them up with a blanket and leaving them. "I don't want to leave them for too long."

"You won't let me in?"

"If you were me, would _you_ let anyone near your kittens?"

"That depends," Cassandra said. "How is their development?" Demeter gave a blank look. "Are they growing up as normal kittens do?"

"I don't know," Demeter admitted. "How soon will I be able to tell if they're like me or not?"

"I'm not sure," Cassandra said softly. "I was different from my brothers and sisters. I didn't stay with them long enough to find out."

"Your mother made no mention of it?"

"My _mother_ barely acknowledged my existence."

Demeter looked away. "I'm sorry…I have no idea what that must have been like."

"I don't want to be a pity case, that's not why I told you," Cassandra said. "As far as I know, it's evident from an early age, even in the slightest sense. Jenny might be able to tell if they are developing slowly." Demeter nodded, looking back to her kittens with concern.

"Munkustrap is looking at me differently."

"You told him?" Cassandra asked with some surprise.

"No…I began to try, but I only made him upset. All the words got all jumbled up, and I couldn't say anything right. But we've gotten into so many fights now. He knows something is different about me."

"How do you feel?" Cassandra asked, with only slight concern. Demeter knew the queen meant well, but she also felt like she was asking because she was expected to ask. Years of social deprivation probably made her lose her conversation etiquette, if she had any to begin with. For a moment, the gold queen missed her sister, but she knew that her sister would push her to leave, like always, and she couldn't bear to hear that now.

"I've left other tribes because of a stray looking at me sideways, just for fear of him knowing me and telling my tribe. This is my _mate_ who's looking at me differently, now. He can't hide the look of suspicion in his eye. I think he was born with it," Demeter tried to laugh, but it came out like a sob. "But now it's aimed towards me. And I can't leave them…"

The queens were quiet. Demeter half expect an "it will be okay, everything's going to be alright," but none came, and the deafening silence was killing her. "I should get back to my kittens," Demeter said anxiously.

"They're very cute, by the way," Cassandra said. "So…don't forget what Mistoffelees said. And enjoy your time with them." She looked uneasy. It must have been hard for her to have already admitted so much to someone else, and continue to speak what she meant. But she would do anything for Mistoffelees. "And…please…love them no matter what…"

"I will," Demeter said, smiling gently. "With all my heart." Cassandra nodded, looking away, as though ashamed of having said so much. After she turned and left, Demeter uncovered her kittens, two of which had now opened their eyes and were looking up at her with confusion. Little Raine had yet to open his eyes. So she licked him on the head. "My darlings," she whispered. "I'll always love you, no matter what. Just don't forget that."

She felt a tug on her collar and looked to see Porthos trying to paw at the butterfly charm that hung from her collar. Demeter just smiled.

---------

"Have you seen Bombalurina?" The kitten queens looked up to the Rum Tum Tugger, smiling to see him out and about again. They shook their heads in answer to his question. Unfortunately for them, that caused the handsome tom to leave.

"Have you see Bombalurina?" he asked the cat burglars, who, for once, were just resting about, lying on top of each other creating an orange and black mass of fur. The tom didn't know where one cat started and the other ended. He could only wonder how they got into such an uncomfortable looking pile in the first place, but decided to save himself the horrors of such knowledge.

"Pssh," was Mungojerrie's response. "Tha' bird is bleedin' mental!" Tugger tried to ignore the fact that he had enough trouble understanding the orange tabby when he wasn't mumbling from being half asleep, let alone slipping deeper into his accent, and practically speaking another language all together.

"Rumpleteazer," he said, now ignoring the tom. "Have you seen her?"

"I 'ave to agree with Jerrie," she said.

"Well…could you translate so I know what you're agreeing to?"

Rumpleteazer started to laugh, causing her partner in crime to kick her. He ended up sending her crashing down from her sleeping spot. After she landed, Mungojerrie put a paw over his mouth, not having meant to possibly cause her serious harm, but the burst of laughter from the queen made him sigh in relief then join in on the laughter.

"Could you two answer my question?" asked the tom impatiently.

"No!" Rumpleteazer said, still smiling, though managing to suppress her giggles. "We 'aven't seen 'er, or 'er sister. They don' like us much, I don' think. Why?"

"No reason," Tugger said, starting to walk off. The sudden fear that he had severely alienated his last real friend overtook the tom.

-----------

Munkustrap sat in a park, near a fountain, waiting patiently. It wasn't easy going to the twins and apologizing for overreacting. He had quite a lot of pride, which made it difficult to swallow, considering how vile-tasting pride can be when ingested. But getting them to meet him to talk proved to be even more difficult. They, too, had their pride, which had been trampled on by the silver tabby when he tried to attack Coricopat. The tom claimed he didn't want to risk another attack, but Munkustrap knew the twins were savoring his need to know more.

Munkustrap stood up in greeting when he saw the queen walking over to him, looking rather demure without her brother as her shadow. "I wouldn't have attacked him," he said in annoyance once Tantomile was in earshot.

"You would bestow us some caution, considering the last time we met, wouldn't you, Munkustrap?" She smiled coyly. "What does it matter if we are both here or not? Aren't there rumors that we can read each other's mind and communicate telepathically? I would think that you, of all cats, would buy the rumors, and consider one twin to know everything the other does."

"Okay, okay," Munkustrap sighed. "You can calm down. I get it. I'm sorry." The queen sat near the tom, and they sat in silence for a few moments, each looking the other over. Munkustrap felt the fur on the back of this neck rise at the contemplative stare he was under. The only way to break the feeling was to begin dialogue. "You know about Mistoffelees?"

"That's a rather broad question," Tantomile smiled. "The tom has many secrets. You'll have to be more specific than that." Munkustrap bit his lip. She wasn't going to make this easy…

"I mean…about him leaving."

"Ah, yes," Tantomile nodded. "We felt his presence leave."

"His…presence…?"

"Mistoffelees has acquired an incredible amount of magic over the years. His presence can be felt to any magical cat within the region quite easily."

"Over the years?" Munkustrap had to laugh. "He's barely out of kittenhood."

"So he would have you think," Tantomile said. "He's a lot older than he looks."

"Well," Munkustrap floundered. "I guess…magic has its benefits."

"That it does…"

Silence. Munkustrap shifted under the gaze of the queen. "Um, listen, I really didn't want to come and talk about Mistoffelees, unless you know where I can find him…Do…you know where I can find him?" The queen shook her head. He decided to come back to that later. "What I really want to know is…what did you say to Demeter to get her so upset?"

"Ah," Tantomile smiled. "This again."

"Please, I promise you, I won't get upset! I'm really worried about her and the kittens."

"Oh, the kittens should be born by now, right? I see. Is there…something odd about the kittens?" Tantomile asked, her piercing stare cutting right through the silver tom.

"Odd? What do you mean _odd_?" Munkustrap asked defensively. "Raine's a little tiny for his age, but runts happen a lot in litters, don't they? Odd…" The Munkustrap gasped. "You don't mean to say…that they aren't mine, do you?"

"No, you silly tabby," Tantomile rolled her eyes. "This goes far deeper than any indiscretions Demeter may have."

"Can't you use simpler words?" Munkustrap asked dryly.

"No," Tantomile said simply. "My brother would have 'dumbed it down' for you, but seeing as the last time you met with him--"

"Stop!" Munkustrap said. "I didn't come here to fight with you. I just need to know! Tantomile, please! These are my kittens! My sons and my daughter! My darling little kittens who are just beginning to open their eyes. I'm worried about Demeter, and how she may react if something happened to them, or if something happens to her, or if she… Everlasting Cat forbid…does something to the kittens.

"You have to understand, I overreacted before because I love my family, and I would do anything for them. It doesn't matter how long I've known you; my family comes first. Don't you understand that? They. Are. _Everything_. To. Me." Munkustrap was now the one staring intensely at Tantomile, making her feel uncomfortable. He was glad to see he made her cower slightly. Maybe now, he would get some answers out of her.

"We were worried about the kittens," Tantomile said in an even voice. "We voiced some concerns to her, and she took them deeply to heart. That is all."

Munkustrap stared. "No, that's not all. You aren't telling me something."

"It's not mine to tell," Tantomile said with a tone of finality. She then proceeded to get up, and it was all Munkustrap could do to keep himself from jumping up, grabbing the queen by the shoulders, and shaking the information out of her.

She began to leave, but not before stopping, once a safe distance from him, and turning to the tom, with sadness in her eyes. "I feel sorry for you, Munkustrap."

The tom frowned. "What did I do to deserve your pity?"

"You fell in love with a queen who could never bring herself to love you," she said. "It would hurt her too much." And with that, the queen turned and ran.

--------

Demeter looked out the entryway of her den. Then she quickly went back to her kittens, making sure they were okay. After a few moments, she went back over to the entryway. The full moon was shining down on the junkyard, daring the queen to come out and bask in its light as she had done so long ago, so many times before. Instead, she felt trapped by it.

No one came around to her den that night. Not her friends came by. Not her sister. Not even her mate. She had done too good a job keeping everyone away with her ridiculous protective nature.

Alone with the kittens that night, she ignored her hunger and tried to concentrate on nothing. She tried to escape into an empty mind as she had once before. But it wouldn't let her. And the kittens' mewlings kept her focused on reality. All she could do was wallow in the truth. All she could do was stay with her kittens, afraid to leave them. Because if she did, she would truly be alone


	16. Awakenings

_A/N: TERRIBLY SORRY about the long wait for this chapter! I had major writers block for the middle of this chapter, and I also had tons happening. I finally came back to the story and said "You know, I have to get to the next chapter and stop worrying about this one." So here it is! I checked it over like Santa would, but I'm only human (and Santa isn't?)! You know what to do! Enjoy!  
_

**

* * *

Chapter 16 – Awakenings**

Munkustrap woke up the next morning, barely managing to open his eyes. They felt incredibly heavy. He breathed in, but it became a sharp inhalation as he half sobbed. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around, momentarily wondering where he was: In a flower bed. A bee buzzed by his ear, causing his ear to twitch in an attempt to make the sound stop. A residual sob escaped his mouth as his chest convulsed instinctively.

Did he get any sleep the night before? He didn't even remember how he ended up where he was. His thought process had gone into overload after he talked to Tantomile. And his head was throbbing.

He walked over to the fountain and jumped up, meaning to take a drink to quench his painfully dry throat when he caught sight of his own reflection. His eyes were puffy and red, and his fur was an utter mess. He couldn't even hold his head up in the proud way he usually did. Even his cheeks looked puffy, if that were possible, but that was probably caused by his head fur being so askew. He couldn't go back to the tribe looking like this…

After taking a good long drink, he started to wash his face with the fountain water, as normal means of grooming wouldn't have sufficed. He hated water. But he hated the reminder of what he had learned the day before.

The day before…

"_You fell in love with a queen who could never bring herself to love you."_

He shook his head of the water, feeling a pain run down his neck at the intensity of his movement.

"_You fell in love with a queen who could…"_

He flexed his claws, his nails emerging and scratching the surface of the fountain.

"_Could never…love you."_

Munkustrap slammed his fist into the concrete as he screamed in frustration, forcing the thought out with the shock that now ran through his arm.

----------

"You don't look so well, dear," Jennyanydots said to the queen.

"What are you…" Demeter said, trying to get up, groggy from lack of sleep.

"No, no, don't get up so quickly." She walked up to the queen. "The cats are saying that Munkustrap didn't come home last night, and I was worried how long you've been alone." She started looking the queen over, Demeter covering her kittens with her tail as she tried to back away from the other.

"He didn't come back to the junkyard _at all_?" Demeter asked mournfully.

The gumbie cat put a paw on the queen's shoulder. "I don't want you to worry about him, dear. You have to get something to eat. I'll stay here with your kittens." Demeter looked horrified. "Now, I know how frightening it is to leave your kits with someone else, but they say I'm '_the best'_, and you needn't worry about them one bit."

"No, it's not that," she said, still trying to cover her kittens.

"Come on, get up. I won't take any more of this behavior if your health is in danger. Lift yourself up _right_ _now_." Demeter felt the matriarchal superiority the queen held over all the other cats take hold of her, and got up, as told. "Oh, well, would you look at the darlings," she cooed instantly. "They're almost two weeks old, right dear?"

"Y-yes," Demeter said, her heart pounding, as she watched the expression on Jennyanydots' face closely.

"Why, they look like they're growing up healthy," she announced happily. "Oh, would you look at them. This one looks a lot like you."

"Porthos, yes," Demeter said absentmindedly. "So they all look okay? Growing up right? Even Raine?"

"Yes, there is no need to worry," Jennyanydots informed her. "They will be fine."

"Oh!" Demeter nearly sobbed when she heard that. It was an odd mixture of emotion she was feeling at the time. "Oh…well…I guess I should be glad! I'm very….yes, I'm very glad!" She sobbed, though she was smiling. "Oh, _they're fine_. Oh, thank the Everlasting Cat!"

Jennyanydots looked confused. "Was there reason to worry? You know you could have come to me if there was a problem…"

"No, they're fine, developing fine, and everything," Demeter said. "You're sure, right? Well, I guess you would know if they weren't…Oh…oh, this is good news!" Demeter began to cry, as she embraced the older queen tightly, letting go only to adjust the butterfly charm on her collar that was digging into her.

"Oh…" Jennyanydots carefully patted the queen on the back. "It's alright. You should go get something to drink, if you've been investing so much energy into worrying."

"Mmm…yes…I'll do that," Demeter wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled. She took one last look at her precious kittens, before going out the den entryway.

Demeter _did_ take Jennyanydot's advice. She got something to eat, got some fresh air, tried to be social. She walked about the junkyard. But everything seemed to be slipping away from her. Not as it had before. She couldn't take anymore depression in her life. She had reached a point where it was simply…life. And she had to take it as it came. And there was nothing she could do about it.

Her kittens were normal. They weren't like her. They could live their lives out in the junkyard and be happy. Unlike her. They could stay with their father, and have a relationship without secrets. Not like her. And they wouldn't have to carry the scars she did, or create ones for cats they came across. Unlike her.

Demeter sat down by herself, looking down at the junkyard at a place she had become accustomed to, but suddenly felt like she was intruding on. She didn't know why she felt disconnected from it all. She had never quite felt like this before. She had never given the chance to feel like this before. As though everything were at a standstill, and the thought of '_now what?_' came to mind.

Her sister hadn't been back in the junkyard in a while. Demeter tried to brush that thought aside. It wasn't possible Bombalurina would simply leave her, was it? She had been pretty cruel to her lately. And she had been snippy with her, as well. Without their mother to look for anymore, Demeter chose her path, and it involved her kittens and her mate. She didn't realize how much she longed to keep to this path…until her sister didn't come back one day. Now she wondered why she was so adamant about it all to begin with.

Demeter caught sight of Munkustrap in the distance, coming back to the junkyard. For one moment of forgetfulness, she jumped to her feet, ready to run down and greet him like a puppy to her owner. Then she remembered how odd things had been between them. She had given up one family for another, and she didn't seem to benefit from either of them. In fact, she felt that she was drowning in one family. Her sister would never had let her feel like that. But the decision was made and if…Everlasting Cat forbid, _if_…her sister wasn't coming back anymore…

Just like Mistoffelees wasn't coming back ever again. Her relationship with Munkustrap will never be the same. Not until he knew the truth, and the truth would probably break them apart.

And yet, there was nothing she could do anymore. She played her part, it seemed. She had no one to turn to anymore, and no where to go to, trapped in a tribe, waiting to be exposed. All she could do was surrender to her eminent discovery.

----------

Cassandra watched for the next few days the relationship between the cats, mostly that between Demeter and Munkustrap. She noticed that Demeter was losing her spirit slowly. She must have felt so lonely…

She watched as Munkustrap spoke to each cat, in whispered conversations, Cassandra could only hope he wasn't giving too much away to the ways of the Jellicle queen. And she hoped he wouldn't come to her and ask questions. She was thankful that her fur was dark, so that she could easily slip into the shadows, avoiding the silver tabby.

But it began to impact on her everyday activities. She couldn't walk past her normal haunts without checking around the corner if the ever vigilant eye of the tribe sentinel was nearby. When she lay down, she had to make sure it was in a quiet, often unoccupied area. Her den was no longer a solitary place, as she was sure the tom would come by at some point and pin her down for questioning. Cassandra didn't have years of lying to depend on, just years of silence. And she knew Munkustrap wouldn't accept that. It was during this constant moving and watching over her shoulder that Cassandra began to realize how difficult it must have been to be the silver tabby's mate.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a black and white tom came behind her. She smiled up to him. "Hello, Alonzo," she said in greeting. She didn't seek him out much lately. But she didn't want to avoid him if he came to her. He knew something was wrong with her, but the loss of Mistoffelees, her good friend, was an easy explanation to her behavior. And it wasn't far from the truth. Seeing the pain he inflicted on the tribe without even trying, she remembered the very reasons for avoiding socialization to begin with. She didn't want Alonzo to be heart-broken over her, too. She didn't want to be missed.

"Hey, there," he smiled warmly, plopping down next to her, and playfully rolling on his back, acting like a playful kitten, pawing up at the dignified queen. She laughed lightly, a rare thing. "Where have you been these past few days."

"Oh," she said, looking out to the tribe. There were no cats in sight. "Just trying to get away from the hectic cats."

"Ah," Alonzo said, bringing himself to a sitting position and leaning against the queen, nearly knocking her over. "Avoiding Munkustrap?"

Cassandra flinched. "…yes," she said, amazed at his insightfulness.

"I know," he said, smiling mischievously. "You're wondering how I knew that!" He stretched his arms out, resting them around the Abyssinian. "Aside from being very psychic…I figured you didn't want to talk about Mistoffelees to him."

"Mistoffelees?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking at his claws as though he never noticed they had dirt under them, then working on grooming them, so that he could once again look as clean as possible with black and white fur. He always felt it was difficult to not look scruffy with his fur color, as proud of it as he was. "He's been asking a lot of questions about him."

"Not about Demeter?" she asked.

"Not to me, no," Alonzo said, beginning to groom his paw. He stopped mid lick, in thought. Finally, he gave Cassandra a bewildered look. "Demeter? Why would he be asking questions about _her_?"

"I don't know," Cassandra said, trying to play it off, looking off to the side. "He's _only_ interested in her half the time, right?"

"True," Alonzo said. They sat in seemingly contented silence as they lay down next to each other, as normal cats often do, happy to simply have someone to lie next to. But the sleek queen was now thinking of what trouble she herself would be in if he could find anything about Mistoffelees that would lead the tribe protector to her. For a moment, she wished she hadn't gotten so close to the conjurer. She would have been better off like that.

But no. She wouldn't have been better off not knowing him. She missed Mistoffelees dearly, yes. But she wouldn't be who she was or feel a little more comfortable in her skin if it weren't for him. Then she looked to Alonzo, who was drifting off to sleep. 'Some protector…' she thought. But she wondered if he would feel the same when she left.

Cassandra nuzzled Alonzo. "What was that for?" he asked groggily.

"Quiet and go to sleep," she said, pushing his head back down to the sleeping position.

Maybe it wasn't so easy to disconnect, after all.

----------

Bombalurina woke up on top of a trash can. She had made that her home for the past few days. She felt the presence of another cat nearby. A cat whose scent she was all too familiar with, and did not want to have to meet again. The memories tied to this cat were too painful to bear. And she had done all she could to forget about the impact this particular tribe had on her.

"Where are you," she said lowly, as her voice became a growl. "Leave me alone."

"I see you remember me," said a tom's voice, amused at having gotten the queen so upset so easily. "Just as much as I remember you. Where is your sister?"

Bombalurina looked around, but couldn't find him anywhere. "Leave us alone, Macavity. You have no idea what you're dealing with."

The devilish chuckle from the tom caused Bombalurina's hackles to rise. Her ears flattened against her head as she growled lowly. "What's the matter," growled the voice. "No good without your tribe behind you?"

"I'm not in the mood to speak with anyone, least of all cats, you."

"How terrible for you," said the tom from behind the queen. She spun around just in time to be slapped straight across the face by the tom. When she came to her senses, she saw the satisfied grin on his face. She smiled coyly, ignoring the sharp pain on her cheek.

"You don't change, do you?" she said lowly. "I would have thought you would have at least combed out your whiskers since last time. Then again, I was hoping you would have fried yourself with that death-defying exit you showed us at the Jellicle Ball, and that's why we haven't heard from you."

"No, _Bombalurina_," he said, with distain in his voice at saying her name. "I've been enjoying this little show you and your sister have been putting on for me. I'm not sure if I should hate you or revel in this secret you have been keeping." Bombalurina flicked her ear in annoyance, causing Macavity to grin broadly. "I see I've hit a nerve. You know…I was very angry, having been made a fool of in front of my entire tribe. But seeing how you two are treating the Jellicles - whom I loathe - well…" His grin became broader as his eyes grew insanely wide. "I could think of no worse torture for them."

"You know nothing, Macavity," Bombalurina said, waving away his implications with her paw.

"Oh, but I know so much, now," he said. "I've asked questions. I've investigated myself, just as _that silver tabby_ has been doing. Yes, he has been asking questions," he said with satisfaction at the widening of the queens' eyes. "He's getting closer to the truth. Now tell me. Which is worse for you? Your sister and her kin being thrown out of her tribe, or her kittens being left to their own devices after I finish with Demeter?"

"Don't you _ever_ lay a paw on my sister," Bombalurina growled, stepping up to Macavity, her face inches away from the ginger tom. She had never been afraid of him, or afraid to stand up to him. Yet at the moment, her heart was pounding, and there was a terrible knot in her stomach. Not fear for herself, but for her sister.

"Does it ever bother you," he said, suddenly changing the expression on his face to one of reveling delight to one of sudden seriousness. "Doing what you do? I have to hand it to you. I never thought anyone would get the best of me, but Demeter…" he shook his head, an ironic smile now gracing his face. "She takes the prize."

"Get over it," Bombalurina said. "You've hurt countless victims,"

"All of them nameless," he corrected. "I've never existed on the level of deceit the two of you have. Over and over again. For years on end. I would find better things to do with my time than fooling tribes time and time again." Bombalurina chewed the inside of her cheek, as not to say anything, not knowing what information Macavity truly had, knowing he was waiting for her to slip up and reveal what they were. "I wonder how Munkustrap will react when he finally knows the truth."

"You know nothing."

"I'm the Napoleon of Crime," he said. "I know more than you would think."

"So, what? You're named after a short human who died alone on an island. Hardly impressive… But anything is better than being named after tooth decay."

"My, aren't you defensive," he said with a refreshed grin. "I suppose living as you do, anyone would get that way." Bombalurina turned and jumped off the trash can, beginning to walk away, fists clenched so tightly, her nails were digging into her own palms. "He will find out," the tom's voice resonated in the alleyway. "And the second Demeter is alone, I will have her. And whatever I choose to do to her, just be sure that she will never see her kittens again, and you will never see your sister again."

Bombalurina turned, ready to attack the ginger tom, but he was gone. She could do nothing but look around for him, as his sinister laughter filled her ears, and left her with a sense of dread.


	17. Simplicity

**Chapter 17 – Simplicity  
**

Demeter looked over to Munkustrap. He simply looked down at the kittens, who were now walking on their own, mewing little nonsensical sounds, almost making out a word or two. Munkustrap was proud of his kittens. He would never ignore them. But Demeter knew it was because of her that he was away from the kittens so much lately. And why he was so quiet and so far away. It took all Demeter had to open up conversation with him.

"Are you ready?" she asked. He simply nodded, as he was busy grooming Raine. "Do you think _they're_ ready?"

"They're getting more anxious," he said, flicking his tail as Chanterelle was stumbling about to chase it. "They're four weeks, Dem, it's only natural."

Demeter nodded solemnly. She felt her grip on the rearing of their kittens slowly weakening. She knew this had to happen, though. "Munkustrap?" He showed he responded by perking up his ears. "Would you _look_ at me for two seconds, please," she asked forcefully.

Slowly, Munkustrap lifted his green eyes. The beautiful green eyes she adored, that once looked to her with love, now looked to her with coldness. She hadn't realized how powerful a presence her own mate had until he looked at her with the eyes of a stranger. It took all of her not to avert her gaze. "We're going to be in front of the entire tribe. Can you please _pretend_ that you don't hate me for a moment and at least _act_ as if you're happy?" The knot in her throat at the minor shift in the silver tabby's gaze made the fur on her neck rise.

"I don't hate you," he said evenly. "But you've been doing enough pretending for all of us. Shouldn't it be your job to keep it up?" Demeter flicked the tip of her tail. Yes, she deserved that. And she had no idea how to counter, which Munkustrap seemed to revel in. "So silent, all of a sudden?"

"Just that I expected _differently_ from you, Munkustrap," she said scathingly before taking Porthos up and going towards the entryway. She tried to ignore Munkustrap staring daggers into her back, but before she could make it out the entryway, she had to stop and catch her breath.

"Things don't have to be this way," she heard him say as she tried to gather herself up not to cry. "I'm going to find out, anyway. And I don't want to have to put anyone else through this madness."

"Well," Demeter whispered. "That makes you better than me any day."

"Demeter," he said sternly, as he usually talked to the kittens of the tribe to get them to stop acting ridiculous.

"I can't talk about this right now," Demeter said.

"You never can."

"And_ given the circumstances_, I never plan on it!" She felt her stomach tie in knots. She couldn't do this on her own any more. She needed her sister with her. She was tired of lying but too frightened to reveal the truth. What could she say? 'I've been using you. It's not that I don't care about you, it's just that I have been using toms for years, and you were next on my list. And you weren't meant to be the last.' Well, that wouldn't come out too well, now would it? All she had left was whatever shred of respect he had for her, and she had no idea how to keep it.

"They're waiting," Munkustrap said, his voice not sounding like his own. "And for Everlasting Cat's sake, smile!" It was easy for him to say. His face always had a bemused look on it due to his markings. Stupid tabby markings…

Shaking terribly, Demeter held Porthos tightly, who was clutching onto his mother for dear life. She stepped out of the den and sat beside the entrance, Munkustrap by the other, holding Raine. Chanterelle eagerly followed, sitting very close to her father.

Chanterelle's nose twitched as she sniffed the air in curiosity. She looked to her mother for support, who, despite her exhaustion with her own life, could muster an encouraging smile for her daughter. Chanterelle began to creep forward slowly.

Demeter put Porthos down, as Munkustrap put down Raine. The latter curled up into his father's lap, not daring to peek his head out. Porthos, on the other hand, stayed where he was placed, looking around, slowly taking everything in.

Chanterelle had stopped a few feet from her parents, her eyes darting to and fro at her surroundings. Then…

"Aww….they're _soooo_ _cuuuute_!" Chanterelle jumped about two feet in the air in surprise before racing back to the den, tail puffed out. Demeter laughed in spite of herself.

"That's where she takes after you," Munkustrap mused, as though their previous conversation hadn't taken place. Demeter just rolled her eyes, not wanting to hear his false kindness to her.

Slowly, the cats of the junkyard peeked their heads out of their hiding spots, the frightener of Chanterelle revealing herself. Jemima crept forward, before coming to a stop a safe distance from the kittens. "They're adorable!" Other cats muttered in agreement, all of them smiling.

Porthos looked up to his mother, as though to ask if it was alright that he address them. Demeter nudged him forward encouragingly. Raine seemed to bury himself into his father's fur, a brown and black anomaly against the silver.

It seemed that the Rum Tum Tugger couldn't help himself, as he was the first to step up to the kittens. "Well, I never thought I'd see Munkustrap reproduce, and now look at this."

"You make it sound dirty, Tugger," Munkustrap remarked dryly. Chanterelle began to creep out of the den, mesmerized by Tugger's fur.

"Hey there, little kitten," the tom said in a mixture of baby talk and flirty behavior. The kitten slowly walked up to Tugger, her eyes wide, transfixed…Until her father picked her up and brought her back to him.

"Please, don't add to your fan base with _my daughter_, Tugger," Munkustrap said, giving the other tom a reproachful look.

"Aw, I'm sure Demeter won't mind," Tugger said. "Right, Dem?"

"I concur with my mate," Demeter said, watching Porthos poking at Tugger. The maned tom dared to pick up the little kitten, all the others cats holding their breath. Demeter felt all eyes on her. She just smiled, showing she didn't mind. After this, all the other cats crept forward to give attention on the kittens.

Seeing as Munkustrap's attention was now on the other cats, Demeter crept over to the side, just outside the circle of cats awing and cooing over the four week old kittens that were _perfectly normal_. Away from the other cats, she felt herself outside of the tribe, watching someone else's kittens being accepted. Perfectly normal kittens… If they had been different, Demeter never would have allowed this display to take place.

"This would never have happened with me." Demeter looked over to Cassandra, who joined her in her solitude. "So…this is what it is to be normal?"

"They're so perfect," Demeter said, chocking back her tears.

"They are."

"Look at them," Demeter whispered. "Bast…I wish that Bomba was here. Or Mistoffelees…"

"I do, too."

Demeter shook her head. "Nothing is turning out like it was supposed to."

"Is that such a terrible thing?" Cassandra surprised her with this question. "You have your kittens…some cats never find anything remotely close to that kind of happiness."

"Or heartbreak," Demeter chocked back tears. "They'll grow up like their father, like their tribemates..." She shook her head. Then she realized everyone was looking in her direction. Demeter's mouth opened slightly in surprise, before she looked over to Cassandra. The sleek queen shrugged, before turning back to the spectacle and smiling. She pointed to the reason for their diverted attention.

The kittens, in line, led by Chanterelle, were stumbling over to their mother. Demeter put a paw to her chest, as though to hold back the emotions she was feeling right then. One by one, they curled up next to her, Raine giving a tiny mew as he joined his brother and sister, and they took refuge under their mother. "Oh, my darlings!" she whispered, hugging them, and kissing the tops of their heads.

"Alright," she heard Munkustrap say. "The kittens are tired of looking at you. Please leave them be!" A couple of cats chuckled, some took offense, but they all left, leaving Munkustrap and Demeter alone again with their kittens.

The two cats made eye contact for a moment, each one yearning to say something, pleading to the other with their eyes, waiting for the other to make the move that would make everything better.

But it never came. And Munkustrap finally looked away, silently walking off, leaving Demeter to put the kittens back in the den.

---------

Munkustrap found himself wandering aimlessly through the junkyard, wondering what he was doing, why he cared so much, and what he was hoping to find. He laid down on an old pillow and looked out across the junkyard, all the while questioning his recent actions. Was all this torment really worth it? He was putting a terrible strain on everyone involved, and his line of questioning had brought two queens to tears. It was one thing that he caused his own mate to cry, but he had become so consumed in his quest for the truth, he made Victoria burst into tears when interrogating her about Mistoffelees. He hadn't talked to her since, only passing her den to hear sniffling and the familiar tune of the music box. He wanted to stop, to just live in ignorance as he did before, and to be happy with his kittens and his mate. She was such a small queen, fragile in so many ways. But now he could only imagine her somehow hurting all of them, though he didn't know how. But all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry. If she wasn't going to fix things, why couldn't he?

He noticed someone moving along before him, and forced himself back to reality. It took him a moment to realize he saw a queen that he hadn't seen in a while.

Instantly, he jumped to his feet and raced over to the flustered looking queen. He must have made quite a bit of noise, because she turned, her eyes wide, her fur raised. Then she sighed with relief. "It's just you," she said, a paw over her heart.

Munkustrap stared in shock. "Bomba…where…the _hell_ have you been!" He looked Bombalurina up and down.

The queen made a face. "Well, not that it matters to you…I just came back to see my sister." Then her ears went flat against her head. "Which reminds me. What's this I hear going on between you and my sister?"

"We've been pretty quiet about your leaving," Munkustrap said, ignoring her question. "We didn't want everyone to freak out so soon after Mistoffelees leaving."

"I hear you've been trying to fish into Demeter's past," she said, her eyes intensely burning.

Munkustrap's ears flattened against his head. "What concern is that for you?"

"Well," Bombalurina said, shifting her weight onto one foot and crossing her arms. "_Everything_. My past is her past. If you have questions, ask me, dimwit. Don't go making your mate seem like she's got something to hide."

"_What_ did you call me?"

"Has she done anything to deserve this from you?" Bombalurina asked disdainfully. "That you can honestly react---"

"_Stop this_!" Munkustrap snapped, causing Bombalurina to stop momentarily. "This is ridiculous! If you're so concerned about her, _you_ can just tell me! You know everything she knows, right? What's wrong with her? Why won't she tell me anything! I can't _take_ this anymore! I just want things to be back to the way we were, no more secrets!"

"Everything is so black and white for you, Munkustrap," Bombalurina said. "You think if you can pinpoint one thing in her past, everything will be okay for you again. It's not that simple! In fact, it's long and complicated, and _painful_…" she stopped to let the words sink in. "Too difficult to say, if you haven't gotten that through your thick skull. And the way you're acting right now is _disgusting_!"

"How is it disgusting?" he hissed. "If there is something wrong with my kittens, I need to know! If there is something wrong with my mate, I need to know! This is my family, Damn it! _Why_. _Can't_. _Anyone_. _Understand_. _That_?"

"You frighten her!" Bombalurina snapped back. "The way you've been acting! Where do you think she got those scars from? A playful kitten nipping at her tail! No! From cats like you! Obsessive and ignorant, ready to persecute before knowing anything!"

"It would all make sense if you could just _tell me_!" he said. "If it's too painful for _her_ to talk about, then why can't _you_ tell me?"

"You'll turn on us," Bombalurina said, without flinching.

Munkustrap put his paws to his head. "Why do you two keep saying that?" He looked at Bombalurina long and hard, but she said nothing more, as he stared at her intensely, waiting for the truth to slowly seep to the surface. "Her scars…" he said slowly, as the gears turned in his head. "Do you have some, too?" She shifted uncomfortably. "The way you were when you came here… She keeps talking about leaving the tribe…and Mistoffelees _did_ leave the tribe."

Everything felt so close! If he could find _something_ to link it all together… "Why are you always running?" he asked. "What do the kittens have to do with it? Are they in trouble?" No answer. "What are you so afraid of? Why is it so important to keep it from me?" He looked down to his paws. He was considered strong in the tribe, yet now his paws were shaking. "Am I going to lose Demeter? And the kittens? Because…I don't think I can take it…"

"I came here to talk to my sister," Bombalurina said coldly. "Not to give you the latest news on her--"

The movement was so sudden, Bombalurina didn't have time to stop the tom from grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "_WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?_"

"Munkustrap!" Both cats looked over to see Demeter hiding behind an old broken television set. "She's been through enough!" Munkustrap looked to Bombalurina, before letting go of her shoulder, looking at his paws, realizing how he had become. "The kittens are fine," she continued. "I didn't think they would be, but now I know they are. So everything that has happened because of them…was all stupid and ridiculous and for nothing." She looked away, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, as though there could possibly be any more tears to shed.

"Bombalurina," Munkustrap said evenly, not taking his eyes off his mate. "Could we have a minute alone?" Bombalurina looked back to her sister. Demeter considered the consequences, until finally, she nodded. Bombalurina walked away, muttering something about tabbies under her breath.

"I left the kittens with Jelly," Demeter said softly, looking to where her sister had gone, longing to follow her. "I was worried about you…"

"Tantomile," he began, unsure if he could get it out. "She told me something…I can't get out of my mind." Demeter stiffened, looking terrified. "She said…that you didn't love me."

Demeter looked so relieved, that she nearly lost her balance and fell over. "I thought you were going to say something else," she admitted, but the pained look on her mate's face made her go quiet.

"She wanted you to tell me your secret," he said, his voice quavering. "But since you won't…all I want to know from you…is if you love me."

"What do you think, Munkustrap?" she asked, her eyes begging him.

"I just want to hear you say it."

Demeter tried to laugh it off. "Oh, come on, Munkustrap, after all this time…" but he still looked unsure. "I mean, with everything that's been done…It's not so simple to say."

"It's very simple," Munkustrap said, taking a few steps towards her. "I love you. I know that. I can say it perfectly fine."

"Munkustrap…" Demeter looked away. "Not now."

"No," Munkustrap came up to her and put his paws as gently as he could on her shoulders. "I can't hear you put this aside."

"I had your kittens," Demeter said, as though baffled. "I sleep by your side every night. Well…until lately."

"Forget lately."

"You keep saying things like that," Demeter said, frowning. "But you never forget. It hurts too deeply to ever be able to forget!"

"Your past?" he asked. He shook his head, letting go of her shoulders. His face went emotionless. "I'm going to find out all about you," he said in an unnatural tone. "Whatever it takes. You're afraid to tell me, so I _will_ find out myself. Until I can finally hear what you're _really_ saying to me. Until I can finally understand you. And we're going to have this conversation again. And you won't be able to push me away as you have been."

Demeter had silent tears streaming down her face. "You can't," she whispered.

"So?" he asked, his face emotionless. "Your past will be exposed? What can be so bad about that?"

"The kittens are yours, too, Munku," Demeter said, confusing the silver tabby at the sudden change in argument. "Whatever happens, they're still yours! You can't look at _them_ differently! You can't _think _of them differently. You _have_ to love them!"

Munkustrap stared at Demeter, his brows furrowed in confusion. Now he didn't know what to think. "I won't be back to the den tonight," he announced. "Or probably for a while. Explain to the others, if you have to. Whatever good embellishment you can think of."

"Munkustrap!" she said forcefully. "They haven't ever lied to you! They've loved you unconditionally! Never forget that!" Demeter yelled to him. Munkustrap turned and left, without saying another word, simply to spite her.

Of course he would always love his kittens. It just felt satisfying to hurt Demeter by holding that simple truth from her. And let her wallow in it for a while. He was too tired to care that she was terrified of her truth coming out.

-------

Demeter stood, heartbroken, confused, and tears falling down her cheeks. "Demi?" She turned to see her sister there, looking concerned.

"Bomba!" Demeter raced up to her sister and hugged her tightly, not daring to let go. "Don't EVER leave me like that again!" she said, crying into her fur. "I'm sorry I slapped you! I'm sorry I was so mean to you! I just didn't know what to do! I was turning you into something you weren't! You've always been there for me. I don't know what I would do without you! Don't EVER leave me like that again!"

"I didn't go far," Bombalurina soothed, though tears threatened to interrupt her calm façade. "I was watching over you. I was…mad at you. But I would never just leave you! Unless you wanted me to..."

"I n-never wanted you to," Demeter said between her sobs. "How long have you been back?"

"Been sneaking around for about a week," she said, purring as to calm her sister down. "You're really hard to get outside of your den. I was hoping to get you when you were alone…" She pulled her sister away and looked her in the eye. "I know this is a bad time...but I have to tell you…I saw Macavity…"

Demeter looked up to her sister in shock.

One thing after another. It never stopped. She could only accept the torture.

---------

Jellylorum was dismissed as the kitten sitter and Bombalurina and Demeter sat in the den alone with the kittens. As a peace offering between the two, Demeter placed her kittens into Bombalurina's lap.

They were awake, looking at their mother. And it was the first time any of them uttered the words, "Mama," though she wasn't sure which did so. Grateful to her kittens, she hugged and kissed each one of them.

"I think you three are old enough to understand," she said, though she knew she was reaching in the logic behind her decision. "So I think you three should know.

"In this world, there are kittens and cats that aren't normal. They are the same in shape and form as any other cat or kitten. But they live for years beyond what any cat should. Sometimes more than humans. Far more. So many years lead to many memories, many skills, many languages learned, and many things forgotten. But most importantly, it leads to many cats. Good cats. Bad cats. Cats they may remember with love and sorrow for the rest of their lives, and cats they may despise for the pain they caused them, which they will never forget.

"Some cats with this…gift of _life_…turn out sad, lonely, pained and constantly running from things like love, unable to even admit it to the ones they would _die_ for. Some will go searching for their lifetime for something…constant…like a mother they grew up with. But some are stronger, braver, and can always hold a smile in the face of their hardship."

Bombalurina looked down at the kittens, two of which were still sitting in her lap. The little queen had crawled away from Bombalurina, and was now lying in her mother's lap. Each one looked up to their mother, mesmerized by the words she was saying, as though they understood. And with being their mother's kittens, Bombalurina would not have been surprised if they would remember every last word uttered to them that night by the gorgeous black and gold queen before them.

"I want to tell you about a cat who I aspire to be. This cat, this…_Jellicle_ cat…who faces the same burden of the life as we do, your aunt and I…He wasn't afraid to put himself out there. He wasn't afraid to learn and grow. And most importantly, he was not afraid to openly love, and _simply_ love, for the precious moments he had together with those he cherished. And this cat's name is Mistoffelees."

* * *

_A/N: Yes, things are coming to a close. I'm not sure how many more chapters, probably one or two, then an epilogue, since I haven't fully written the last chapter yet, just the ending. So now would be a good time for comments, make sure I have all the lose ends tied. Ask any questions I haven't answered, that i may have intended to answer, but forgotten. Others are just meant to be continued to be questioned. But I want to make sure I have everything done by the end. And thanks for reading this chapter!  
_


	18. Obsession

_A/N: ((peeks out from behind her chapter)) You're not going to hurt me for not updating sooner, are you? Well, here, have the chapter! Oh, and if any of you have read Le Petite Prince (The Little Prince), you might get the joke in here. You know the drill. Enjoy._**  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 18 – Obsession**

Bombalurina stayed with Demeter, not saying much through the lonely nights, only staying by her side, as she took care of her kittens. Every once in a while they would hear someone come to the den, but it was often simply a visitor, and not the tom they'd expected. The red queen was very uneasy about the whole affair, visibly tense and constantly flicking her tail in annoyance, but Demeter refused to leave her kittens for even a moment.

There was a knock on the entryway, as both queens were entertaining the fast growing kittens, trying to teach them new words. Bombalurina looked back to see Tugger leaning against the entry way, looking surprised and confused, his sleep deprived eyes looking to the red queen.

"Hey, Tugger," Demeter said in surprise, grabbing Chanterelle and pulling her back over to her after she made a run for the maned tom.

"Tuggah!" the tiny queen kitten cried, the other two looking up, confused.

"Hey, kits," he said softly. "Do you mind if I take Bombalurina away from you for a minute."

Demeter looked over to her sister. Bombalurina pleaded with her eyes for Demeter to cover for her. "Yeah, go ahead." Bombalurina gave Demeter a death glare. "I owe him as much," she whispered. Bombalurina held back a sigh and got up, making her way to the tom. The two left together, followed by the sound of Raine giggling like mad, as Demeter tickled the tiny kitten on his stomach.

-------

"I had no idea you were back!" Tugger gave Bombalurina a reproachful look he must have imitated from the silver tabby himself.

Bombalurina grinned. "Are you happy to see me?"

"Hell no!" Tugger growled. "I'm angry with you. Where the _hell_ have you been?"

"It's better," Bombalurina began, "That you didn't miss me."

"Who says I didn't miss you?" Bombalurina looked down, not answering. "Where did you go?"

"Around," she said. "I'm surprised you noticed."

"Yeah, well," he ran a paw through his head fur. "You're kind of my favorite queen."

"I'm flattered," Bombalurina said, with a lopsided smirk. "I just needed to clear my head. I wouldn't leave my sister behind."

"Yeah, her…" he cleared his throat. "You didn't tell her what I said, did you?"

"No," replied the queen. "She has enough going on to worry about you, Tuggs-darling." The tom nodded in understanding.

"He's been gone for a while, hasn't he?"

"That tabby can be gone for the rest of _my_ life, and trust me, we'd all be better off that way!" Bombalurina folded her arms, furrowing her brow.

"Don't be mad at him, Bomb," Tugger said weakly. "He's had a lot on his mind lately, too."

"Like how to make Demeter more miserable?" Bombalurina asked. "Look, when he comes back, the last thing I want to do is see that smug face of his. If it weren't for the kittens, I would take Demeter and leave this place. She doesn't deserve this treatment."

"You're just angry," Tugger tried to say convincingly, but it sounded more bored than anything. He, himself, looked upset with the tom, and for good reason. Things were falling apart with Munkustrap missing, and while most cats were turning to Alonzo for answers, Tugger could feel the increased responsibility piling on him. That, along with previous problems, he was beside himself to figure out what to do with this previously non-existent stress.

"Yeah, angry," Bombalurina agreed. "Tuggs, babe?" she looked to the tom, who looked superbly uncomfortable with the thought of another question heading his way. "How do you feel about the kittens?"

The tom gave her a questioning look. "That's an odd question. Bombs, they're too cute _not_ to love. Why?"

"If something were to happen to Dem or that stupid tabby she calls her mate, and I couldn't take care of them…or if one of us did something unforgivable, and we weren't able to care for them…do you think the others would take care of the kits?"

Tugger blinked. _Unforgivable_? But to save the long-winded questions that were sure to follow, which he had been getting a lot of lately, he simply gave an honest answer. "Of course they would, Bomb."

Bombalurina nodded, looking off in the distance, she absentmindedly patted Tugger on the arm. "Go get some sleep, Tugger, you look awful." And with that, the Rum Tum Tugger gladly did as he was told, for once.

--------

Munkustrap walked wearily down the streets. He, at first, didn't know where to begin. He did, at times, ask a cat or two about Demeter. But he got no answers. And he just continued walking further and further away without any answers. It wasn't until he was so far from the tribe's territory that he didn't even know the surrounding tribes, that he began to get results, much to his surprise.

He stopped at what could be considered a watering hole, where there were quite a few cats outside of a pub, not unlike the ones Gus often frequented, where some cats fed off table scraps. Others simply drank water, or other drinks. He stopped to get a drink of water from the watering bowl.

Some cats were stumbling about, and Munkustrap mused to himself that Skimbleshanks wasn't the only one who liked a drop of scotch in his tea. He began to wonder how long it would take for him to forget the tea altogether, as the cats in this area opted to.

A tom stumbled by, losing his balance and falling into the water, causing many cats to jump back and hiss in annoyance. Munkustrap was no exception, as he was in the middle of lapping up some water, and now his paws and muzzle were drenched. He sighed. "Well, _now_ where am I supposed to get some water?"

The tom got up, chortling to himself, as he tried to shake his fur clean, and stumbled back over to get some more spirits to quench his thirst. Munkustrap frowned, as the cat didn't even pretend to apologize. "Aw, don't blame him," said a dark grey fluffy queen as she shook her paw to get the water out. "He's just suffering from a broken heart. Has been for _years_, poor thing."

"How so?" Munkustrap asked, really not interested, but his manners kicked into place before he could stop them.

"Some queen left him and his tribe long ago, and he has yet to get over it." The queen walked off, going to talk to her friends, leaving Munkustrap uneasy. It couldn't be…could it?

He walked over to the tom, who had quite suddenly lost his cheeriness and was on the verge of tears. "What's the matter?" Munkustrap asked without much compassion.

The tom hiccupped. "My life is a disaster!" he said, hiccupping again.

"Oh, now, why do you say that?" Munkustrap tried to pat them tom on his back, but the tom ended up leaning completely against the silver tabby, filling his nostrils with the smell of alcohol. Munkustrap made a side note to reprimand Skimbleshanks for his preference of scotch to liven up his tea.

"I've lost my mate, I was run out of my tribe, and I'm a drunk…"

"Well, then…if you don't like being a drunk, why do you drink?" Munkustrap asked, trying very hard to peel the tom off of him.

"To forget."

"To forget what?"

"The shame."

"The shame of what?"

"The shame of drinking…"

"Well--" Munkustrap finally managed to pull the tom off of him and hold him at arms length away. "That was pointless! Look, what made you _start_ drinking to begin with?"

"I loved her," said the tom, hiccupping again.

"Her?" he asked. His heart began to beat a mile a minute. "Was her name Demeter?"

"No," the tom said, putting a paw over his eyes. Munkustrap let the cat go, the drunk crumbling to the floor, and turned to leave, thinking he had just gone through all that for nothing. "That was her sister's name." Munkustrap stopped dead in his tracks. His stomach seemed to fall clear out of his body. "Her name was…was…"

"Bombalurina?" Munkustrap asked, hoping he was wrong. But the tom instantly looked over to him, more focused than he was moments ago. Munkustrap felt a chill go up his spin.

"You know her?" He asked, getting up and racing over to the tabby, once again latching onto him like a leech. "Where is she? I haven't seen her in _years_!"

"Years?" Munkustrap echoed, baffled. "How long ago was this?"

"I haven't seen her…hic…in three years. I miss her so much…she just left! Without a single…warning!" He got angrier as he spoke, beginning to dig his nails into Munkustrap's flesh. "I miss her…_why did she leave me_?"

"Please…let go," Munkustrap said, trying not to hurt the broken tom, but not wanting to be hurt himself. "Just…let go of me!" Munkustrap began to shove the tom away, but he was a lot stronger than he looked. A few cats finally decided to pull the tom off of Munkustrap. Then they turned on him.

"What are you doing?" asked one queen, as she looked to the drunken other if he had any scratches on him. "He's never done anything to anyone! Why are you provoking him like this?"

"He's a stranger," said a different tom, who looked gangly, but ready to fight Munkustrap simply for having the audacity to breath in his presence. "I can't believe we let him drink from our water."

"I just asked him something!" Munkustrap defended as he backed away from the angry looking cats who would defend their drunken friend for better or worse. "It's not my fault he…"

A cat lunged forward and hissed at Munkustrap, causing the outnumbered tom to turn tail

and run. A few cats chased after him, but stopped after he was far enough away from their territory. After catching his breath, Munkustrap thought about the information he received. "Three years?" he muttered to himself. "Bomba could probably be 5 years, at the most, but…Demeter couldn't possibly be more than 3, and that's pushing it." He suddenly realized he had no idea if the two queens were littermates or not. One could look older than the other, but both be the same age, couldn't they?

Munkustrap sat down by a garbage can in an unoccupied alley and began to draw out the information on the grime collected on the lid before him with his paw. If Demeter WAS three, that meant she would have had to have been born in _that_ tribe, if her sister was two years older than her. And her sister would have been mated at two years of age.

Munkustrap shook his head. Easily explained away! Demeter was a kitten born in that tribe, and known to be Bombalurina's sister. Why would she take a kitten away from a tribe…or their mother…so young? To search for their mother? Maybe she left them and Bombalurina set out to find her? That would make sense…

The tom slept for the night, contemplating how much he really knew about his mate if he didn't even know her age.

---------

Events like this continued to happen from there on out. He would ask a question to some cats, and they would admit they knew the two queens, and some would ask where they went.

"I haven't seen them in years," was the general statement.

Some would acknowledge memory of them with a look that terrified Munkustrap. It was a look of pain and anger and detest. Those times, little would be answered. Things didn't make sense…

"Those sluts are still out there?" some would comment.

Some were cheery of the memory, as though it were a fairy tale come to life.

"Bombie? That's a name I haven't heard since I was a kitten! I was beginning to wonder if she was a dream. I loved her so much!" These comments were made all the odder when the cats questioned were pushing eights years of age.

And there were, of course, the obsessive ones…

"You know where she is? Where is she? I have to see her! What have you done with her? Is she alright? If you've done anything to her…!" Sometimes it was best for Munkustrap to run.

And then there were the ones who were concerned about them.

"Did they ever find their mother?" asked an older tom, with genuine interest.

"No," Munkustrap said. "She died before they could find her. A former tribes mate told her. Well, them…"

"Oh," the tom shook his head. "That's all they ever wanted." He looked from side to side to make sure no other cats near them were listening, before leaning in close to the silver tabby. "Everyone was upset when they left. They made quite a few friends. I think one of them even had a mate."

"Which one?" Munkustrap interrupted. This was something he had heard at least three times already.

"The red queen," he said. "I don't remember her name. It was a long name. I was barely an adult back then. But I remember I would have _liked_ to have her as a mate," he chuckled at the memory, scratching his ear with his paw. "Oh, _he_ was so angry when he caught them trying to leave, though. That's a night I'll never forget. Dragged her to the center of the tribe's territory and threw her on the ground. I remember her sister was screaming for him to stop. I think he would have killed her…" Munkustrap held his breath.

"H-how did they get away?"

"The tribe elders made him stop, and in the confusion going on, no one saw them go. They were so silent, leaving. It hurt to know they weren't going to say goodbye. As though we were so easy to discard..."

Munkustrap's fur rose on end. "You must be remembering it wrong," he said. "Bomba's mate beat her! Maybe they were trying to get away from him."

The tom shrugged. "Ah, what does it matter now? I'm sure they lived out the end of their days somewhere peaceful."

"Um…" Munkustrap wasn't sure how to answer that, so he simply nodded.

He had come a long way, for a cat to travel. He had hitched a few rides, hiding in the back of trucks to ease the pain of his tired feet, and was surprised how far from home he had gotten in only a few weeks. Everytime he thought he was done, he burned to know more, almost certain of his findings. Though he was longing to get home to his kittens, it seemed, at times, he would have traveled around the world to follow this obsession to know.

But suddenly, the trail ended. There was nothing to investigate anymore. The trail stopped cold. At ten years in the past.

-----------

Macavity grinned down to the small queen shivering before him. She was curled up in a ball, ready for the next blow that was achingly slow to come. But come, it did, and the queen rolled on the floor, before managing to get into a kneeling position and putting a paw on her cheek. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Now," growled the tom. "The next time I catch you with another tom, I'll make sure that _really_ hurts." The queen whimpered in compliance before scampering away from the tom. He sighed with some satisfaction at the catharsis that brought to him.

There was a large amount of noise on the other side of the fence he was standing in front of. The ginger cat closed his eyes in annoyance before sighing and walking to the source of the noise. "What are you imbeciles doing _now_? There are treaty's that need to go missing, and I can't do it all myself."

The collection of fur parted to reveal the source of the commotion. A silver and black tom was getting up off the floor, breathing shallow breaths from the beating he just took. Slowly, he looked up to Macavity, anger in his eyes. The ginger cat grinned. "Who dragged you in here?" he asked.

"I came by myself," he growled, moving his shoulder as though it had a kink in it.

"What on earth would compel you to come here?" he asked with amusement in his voice. He knew why. But he reveled in the moment.

"Demeter was in your tribe before she…found sanctuary in my tribe. I had to know what happened to her." The silver tom looked as though he hadn't slept in days.

"You must be _desperate_ to come here," he said, not bothering to hide the satisfied grin on his face. "Looking to get rid of her before she gets rid of you?" Munkustrap's eyes looked down momentarily, as though defeated. Macavity looked to the cats surrounding the tom, waiting for the sign from Macavity they could do as they wished with the intruder on their territory. With nothing but a stare, the cats backed away, leaving the two be.

"Far from home? Couldn't go back until you knew the truth?" Munkustrap was silent. Macavity waved the tom over to the other side of the fence. "Funny, how it led you straight to hell."


	19. Becoming a Memory

_A/N: And so, the exciting conclusion to the story!...(there'll be an epilogue, don't worry. I was going to see if I could get away without one, but I think the epilogue is needed. Unless you think it could end here...)) Enjoy. R&R. And if anything seems to be unanswered to you, just ask, be sure to ask, so I can include any explanation in the epilogue (should there be one ((wink)))._

**

* * *

Chapter 19 - Becoming a Memory  
**

Cassandra waited under the moonlit sky, over by a brick wall, that looked ready to fall apart. It didn't look at all sturdy anymore, not with the light she was viewing it under. Yet the lighting was the same as the first night they all first confronted one another. It was the _situation_, the _company_, the _loss_ they had suffered, and _time_ that had chipped away at the sturdiness the wall once had and created the instability she saw before her. And yet, it was here where the memories of the four Jellicles' nights by the bonfire lived on, taking a life of it's own, existing in it's own happy moments, when the four felt complete.

Back then, it all seemed much less complicated.

Back then, Bombalurina had not felt driven away by her own family, and would give her sister loving embraces, as though those two were the only thing that mattered in the world. Demeter seemed to glow, as the prospect of kittens lifted her spirits, which would have been dying without them. And their dear Mistoffelees was there, his ever-present smile warming the cold hearts of the three Jellicle queens, and for the while they were with him, they felt they had answers, and in many ways, felt complete. And Cassandra, herself, finally felt like she was part of a family, remembering the flawless mirrored version of herself in the fire, and wishing she could feel the passion the tom who - created the creature - had within himself.

All of it so far away. Comfort was so far away. Home was so…

"Cassandra?" The memories before Cassandra were dispelled, consumed by the darkness of the night, leaving her at the mercy of reality. Behind her, the two sisters were coming with the three kits. Demeter held Porthos, Bombalurina held Raine, and Chanterelle was between the two, as each queen held a paw of the tiny grey tabby queen. Demeter was about to speak, but began to struggle with the little gold and white kitten in her arms, before losing the battle and her grip on her son. He jumped to the ground and took off to investigate a nearby tree. "Porthos, come back here!" She raced after her son, leaving Bombalurina with the two others kittens.

"What's up, Cassie?" she asked, trying to hold Chanterelle back with just one free paw.

"You're in danger," said the sleek queen.

"What?" Bombalurina yelped. She looked over to her sister, who was inadvertently dragged into a game of "peek-a-boo" when Porthos hid behind said tree and kept it between him and his mother, racing around and peeking out the other side to tease her. Bombalurina leaned in close to Cassandra. "What do you mean?"

"I spoke to Alonzo," she said. "He told me that Munkustrap was seen."

Bombalurina stiffened. "And?"

"Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer saw him," Cassandra said lowly.

"So?" Bombalurina asked, still trying to keep Chanterelle from joining her brother, all while trying to pry Raine off of her arm. "What? Did they say anything?"

"They had just come back from Macavity."

"Oh, I _knew_ they were still working for--" The queen went silent as her face showed realization. "Oh…"

"I know this is bad," Cassandra said slowly. "But how much does he know? Should I be worried, too?"

Bombalurina managed to get Raine off of her arm and place him on the ground. She then dragged Chanterelle close to her brother. The little brown tabby clutched onto his sister for dear life, immobilizing the tiny queen from any means of escape. "Look, I really don't want to talk about it," she answered shortly, seeming to choke back tears.

She looked over to her sister, who was now trying to coax Porthos down from the tree before he could climb so high, he wouldn't be able to get back down. Bombalurina smiled sadly. "He's so strong already, and he's not even two months. He must have good genes…That stupid tabby being strong and all…and Demeter."

Cassandra noted the sad look on Bombalurina's face, nodding at the change in atmosphere that had come between the two. Then she looked to Demeter. "I know she's strong…but--"

"No," Bombalurina wiped a tear that had escaped and trickled down her cheek. "I need to talk to her."

Cassandra nodded. "Should I take the kittens back?"

"Please…" Both queens looked to Demeter, who had succeeded in rounding up her son and was now carrying him back. She was talking softly to him, as he was cradled in her arms. She kissed his paw, where he had hurt himself climbing the tree. She wasn't expecting Cassandra to wordlessly take her little kitten away from her.

--------

Munkustrap glared at Macavity. "I wouldn't come here for anything--I just want information."

"You're _desperate_ for information," Macavity corrected.

Munkustrap ignored that comment. "You know something about my mate…"

"It's because of _that_ that I am a _danger_ to your mate."

Munkustrap growled lowly. This was a bad idea. But his desire to know far outweighed the folly such a decision could bring. At least, to him, it did. "Don't you dare go near my mate."

Macavity grinned. "It may be that I won't have to in order to harm her." Munkustrap shifted uncomfortably. "You don't understand? Don't forget the crippling power of information in the wrong paws. After all, it brought you here."

"What could possibly be that bad?" Munkustrap rolled his eyes, finding Macavity's attempt to scare him ridiculously transparent.

"How about merciless humiliation?" Macavity asked, his voice dripping with venom. "Taking advantage of those weaker than you is reprehensible. But taking advantage of those _stronger_ than you is deadly."

"Sounds _clever_ to me," Munkustrap reveled in the ginger cat's annoyance. "Certainly better than the former, which you seem to do in spades."

"Don't use all your vocabulary in one sentence, Munkustrap, or your head might explode." The silver tom's ear twitched. No, he couldn't lose control of the situation. He was out of his territory with no authority over the tom before him. He had to keep his temper or lose his advantage.

"How could my Demeter possibly take advantage of you? She's tiny, and terrified, and could barely lift a catnip toy unless she stretches first, lest she hurt herself." Macavity's tail twitched at the end. Munkustrap smiled. He was getting to him. "Did she outwit you or something--?"

"It was her sister, mainly," Macavity said to save face. "Conniving creature. A loathsome parasite who seeks a strong tribe, hides in cowardice behind it, and fails to tell you that after she is done using your resources, she will leave you behind. They did _anything_ to get away." Munkustrap stared at the tom before him, wishing he could write it off as Macavity goading him. But he knew from his own information that the ginger tom was telling the truth.

----------

"What is it?" Demeter asked Bombalurina as she watched Cassandra leading her kittens away. They walked in line, holding each other's paws, each looking back to their mother.

"Munkustrap is back in the area." Demeter felt butterflies kicking around in her stomach at the mention of the tom's name. The bittersweet feeling of seeing her mate, yet not knowing if he would be happy to see her, or how he would react, made her begin to shiver. "Don't get excited!" Bombalurina reprimanded. "He's not in the junkyard…He's with Macavity."

Demeter felt like the world had slipped out from under her. She struggled to breath, but she could feel herself getting dizzy. "Demi, calm down, please! I need you to have your head about you!" But she couldn't calm down. Her mate was fraternizing with the possible source of her demise! This could be it. The tom she had kittens with was about to give her in at any moment. "Dem, you're hyperventilating!"

The next thing she knew, she was in her sister's arms, as Bombalurina was fanning Demeter's face. She was on the floor. Had she collapsed? Everything was so fuzzy. "We don't need this now! Dem, pull yourself together. Breath in slowly."

------

Munkustrap took in shallow breaths, trying to keep his wits about him. But his nerves were frayed, his eyes heavy from lack of sleep, his head cloudy from so much information and too much traveling. He missed his family _so much_. Just one straight answer. That's all he needed. "What is she?" he asked wearily.

Macavity, for once, seemed surprised by the actions of the silver tom before him. But his surprise turned into a devilish smile. "You see it, too?" he asked, grinning wickedly. "That they aren't normal? That they have too many secrets to speak of? Too much time in their lives to account for? Come, now. You can't be that naïve, even if you _are_ a Jellicle. But you aren't, now are you?" Macavity tilted his head to the side, as though inspecting the silver tom. "What's in a name, after all?"

Munkustrap sighed. "What are you talking about?"

"You have the answers right before you, I'm sure of it. You always have, it seems, but you've never figured it out." He shook his head. "Have you ever felt yourself called to the Jellicle Moon?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Munkustrap asked in frustration.

"You Jellicles have spent your pathetic lives thinking that you're something special. But you're nothing more than _cats_. Cats that exclude others by that name and that alone. _True_ Jellicles, who actually hear the call of the moon, and wait for it to come once a year, who truly are linked to the moon, and have reason to wait for rebirth…who have a life far too long to wish to continue it…those are the ones who are _special_. And those are the ones who deserve to be punished for their arrogance."

Munkustrap shook his head. "You're insane."

"You so-called Jellicles spend your life waiting for an Everlasting Cat to save you from a life of mediocrity," Macavity countered. "That's insane to some. What can you possibly be tired of from so few years of life? Is your collar too tight for you? Your food dish not filled with your favorite food? You're spoiled, pampered little fools. And you deserve what she's going to do to you."

Munkustrap glared to the ginger tom. "She would never…"

-------

Demeter had managed to pull herself together. She had barely stood back up when her sister began to speak again. "We have to leave tonight, Dem."

Demeter shook her head. "We can't carry the kittens with us. They're too young. They've only just been weaned."

Bombalurina's fur was fluffed out. "Demeter…I only meant you and me."

Demeter looked to her sister in shock, then disgust. "I am not leaving my kittens behind!"

"Dem--"

"I have a life here, Bomba!" Demeter said, backing away from her sister. "I have my kittens and my mate, and cats who really love me!"

"Demeter! Why do you keep doing this? I tried to get you to leave before! I gave you your time! Why do you keep not wanting to leave? You saw how Munkustrap treated you when you wouldn't tell him what you were. Imagine how he would react now, to ask Macavity, of all cats, of what you are! Maybe he even knows already. Maybe he wants to leave you in Macavity's paws."

"Munkustrap is not like that!" Demeter stomped her foot on the ground. "You've never liked him!"

"You haven't been his number one fan, either! Might I remind you of Alonzo? You preferred him, remember? And anyways, he's a tabby! You hate tabbies!"

"My _kittens_ are tabbies!" Demeter growled.

"They're exempted," Bombalurina said. "They're YOUR kittens. But YOUR mate had a mind of his own long before we got here, and he's making it up right now, and he's two steps away from destroying your life! Don't sit there and tell me you _love_ him or any crap like that. You just miss mom, admit it!"

"Oh," Demeter hissed. "Don't bring her into this! Don't you dare! You've never once tried to talk to me about her after she died, and now you want to bring her up? That's not fair, Bomba!"

"We can't stop moving just because she's gone," Bombalurina tried to reason. "Mistoffelees is gone. Cassandra will probably leave no later than us. She might even leave tonight, with the risks we put on her! We have to go, too!"

"Or what?" Demeter asked. "Or what will happen to us that is _so_ bad that we can't stay here."

"DEM!" Bombalurina was ready to yank her fur out. "Look at yourself! Look at your scars! Look at the look on your face at the thought of Macavity simply being so close, let alone your mate with him right now! After everything you've been through with this tribe? All the nights when we were frightened of being found out? Don't forget about the terror we've been through because of _what_ _we are_!"

Bombalurina backed up and pointed her paw to the junkyard. "I don't see why you can't see it! Are you blind? Look how peaceful a life they live! Any creature hates something that puts a burden on them; that's different than them. Anyone would hate being reminded daily of their own mortality! In ten years, where do you think we would be with them? Frolicking through fields, paw in paw, in love and contented? We can't guarantee they would last another _five_ years. Their lives are too short! Our lives are too long!

"Even if they did accept us, do you really want to see your _precious_ Munkustrap dying of old age, when you're still looking a good three years of age? Wouldn't you be disgusted that everyone you knew is gone? To outlive your own children!" At these words, Demeter held her stomach, as though she were going to throw up, and knelt down, trying to catch her breath. Bombalurina's paws were shaking. But she knew she had to give her sister another dose of reality. She couldn't let her sister fool herself anymore. Not if she could do anything to help it.

"There's no getting around it, Dem," Bombalurina continued, speaking softer. "No matter how you look at it, we have to be selfish about it. Their lives will pass as normal, and they will get on with their lives. But our lives won't. We have to leave for our own sanity." Bombalurina caught her breath, looking to the junkyard, thinking of the cats she knew.

She had tried to convince herself that they weren't that important. That anytime she received a compliment from the gumbie cat over something she had done right under her tutelage didn't make her feel wonderful. She pretended the attention she received from the Rum Tum Tugger wasn't anything special to her, that it was just part of her plans. She tried to numb herself to it all. Especially the hate she felt towards Munkustrap. She saw it coming, her sister and that mate of hers, something genuine that wasn't there in their past lives, so to speak. But she knew it was too late. She loved this tribe, and all the emotions that came with it. And now, she had to let it go.

"We need to leave," she said to Demeter. "Not just the tribe. We need to say goodbye to this area. Damn it, if we could catch a boat, I would get off this island and go to wherever the seas will take us! We've done it before. We have to run far away from here!"

"I can't," Demeter whispered, her head hanging low, looking to the ground.

"You have to," Bombalurina pleaded. "Everything here will just be a memory, like the others. Just think of it that way. Memories. And move on to the future. We have a long future ahead of us. We can't stay here. We can't watch them die. Even if we weren't in the situation we are right now…They won't accept it if we're not aging. It would be too weird, too awkward, and we would be questioned and resented. They don't like what they can't understand. They won't just live and let live."

Demeter was silent, wringing her paws, looking past her sister to the junkyard. Everything else seemed so still. Not even the wind would interrupt the tension between the two sisters. And all Demeter could do was breath in raspy breaths.

Finally, the gold queen got up, and looked defiantly to her sister. "But my kittens…" She walked past Bombalurina towards the junkyard.

Bombalurina clenched her paw into a fist. She turned and watched her sister walk with her head held as high as could be. She only had this one chance, or it would be the last she would see of her sister. "I can't stand it here any longer!" she yelled to Demeter. "Remember what Macavity said to me!" She pointed to the junkyard. "They'll drive you out, and your kittens! And then _he_ would come in and leave me sisterless. Leave _them_ motherless, abandoned on the streets. Is that really what you want, Demeter?"

Bombalurina nearly collapsed with relief that her sister stopped.

-------

"What makes you think you are so special?" Macavity asked Munkustrap, his piercing glare threatening to break Munkustrap's exhausted body in two. "That she would stay with you?"

"She had my kittens!" Munkustrap said, nearly dumbfounded. "I would think that's saying something."

"They're _your_ kittens, are they?" asked the ginger tom. Munkustrap growled lowly. "Even if you were the one who fathered them, how does that make them yours? Demeter is their mother, right? That makes them _her_ kittens. A Jellicle's kittens. They're no more _yours_ than Demeter is _your mate_."

"That's a lie," Munkustrap said, though unable to mask the fear in his voice.

Macavity laughed lowly. "Why do you think you're different? Do you think she _loves_ you? Do you think she will stay with you just because you had kittens with her? That she cares enough about you to stop her deceitful ways?"

"She does love me," Munkustrap said softly.

"She's been deceiving you since she met you," Macavity said with satisfaction.

"Just because she ran from you--"

"_Ran_ from me?" Macavity laughed. "She _initiated_ her relationship with me!" Munkustrap stared, speechless. "You're the strongest in your tribe, aren't you?" Munkustrap didn't answer. "Well respected? Wouldn't that be the perfect thing for a queen with secrets to hide behind? I bet you defend her to the bitter end, don't you? Hmm…no answer? And yet, I'm not surprised."

"This was a bad idea," Munkustrap said wearily.

"She's going to leave you," Macavity continued.

"Shut up."

"She's going to rip your heart right out. Take everything you loved about her away from you in one fell swoop."

"It's not true."

"When was the last time she told you she loved you? That's an important thing, isn't it?"

"She's called me her love," Munkustrap defended, hissing lowly.

"A pet name," Macavity waved his paw to dismiss the idea. "She might as well say '_my puppet_', which is exactly what you are. She knew exactly how to play you."

"Shut up!"

"And one day you'll realize she's not there. And she's not coming back. She's simply gone…and never coming back. And everything you invested in her is gone."

Munkustrap opened his mouth to say something, anything, to Macavity to make him be quiet, when a thought hit him. He had been gone for a long time. He had no idea if Demeter was even there any more. He hadn't even bothered to worry about --

"My kittens!" Munkustrap turned and ran, the laugh of Macavity trailing him.

Munkustrap raced through the streets. The junkyard had never seemed so far. His legs carried him as fast they could, and yet they didn't seem fast enough.

Terror filled his body. He couldn't lose them. He couldn't lose them all. He wouldn't be able to take it, if all his kittens were gone, and Demeter was gone.

He would die without them.

---------

Three kittens slept soundly, curled up against one another, their mother over them, protecting them. She had given them all a good bath, told them a small story, and hummed to them until their droopy little eyes had finally closed. And now, she stood over them, unmoving.

Bombalurina watched from the entryway of her den. "Dem…It's all your decision in the end." The red queen looked around nervously. She was unsure if she would keep her sister. Or if she would lose everything.

_Bombalurina was with her sister, sheltering her from the rain as it poured down on them. They were huddled together in a box that was falling apart due to the downpour, and it seemed they would get swept away themselves if she moved into the path of the streaming water. But they were together, at least. It was enough to keep each other warm. It was enough to know they would survive the night. The two of them together used to be enough to keep them happy._

_So it was heartbreaking to Bombalurina when she would suffer a downpour on her own, surrounded by their new home, but her sister off somewhere else. With _him_. The tom that was now the focal point in her life. Demeter acted differently with him. She seemed sincere. Whether she truly was, or simply wanted to _feel_ that way, Bombalurina did not know. But it was _him_, now, the silver tabby, sheltering Demeter from the rain. And he did a better job of it._

_Was it the miracle of love or the thrill of something new? What was important to Demeter? Bombalurina couldn't figure it out. But all she could do was remain that one thing constant in Demeter's life. And wonder how long they could stay that way. _

-----------

Munkustrap raced into the junkyard, stopping only momentarily to catch his breath. He didn't know if he could face it. Face what he had foolishly left behind. What he had started. What he might have driven away by his actions.

If he had just known! He could tell Demeter it was okay; whatever she was. He would be okay with it. At least, he thought he would. It wouldn't matter. As long as they could stay together, the family they had built. She couldn't simply leave them. She _wouldn't_. Macavity was lying. That's what he does.

But she never did anything to prove she would never leave. Macavity was right. It was right before his eyes. And he kept pushing it aside…

"Munkustrap?" The tom looked over to see a white queen looking at him with concern. She carried a music box in her paws. "What happened to you?"

"Victoria…" he said, dumbfounded. "Where's Demeter?"

"Uh…" she sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I don't know. With the kittens, I guess."

"She hasn't left?" he asked, feeling relief come over him

"…was she supposed to go somewhere?" she asked. "She hasn't gone anywhere…not that I know of…"

Munkustrap felt his muscles relax momentarily. "Um…what's the matter, Victoria? Why are you crying?"

She bit her lip. "My music box…it stopped playing." Munkustrap's eyes slowly went to the music box in Victoria's paws. And he could see the scene play all over again, of the black and white tom disappearing right before their eyes, never to come back…

"Demeter!" Munkustrap took up running again, leaving a sniffling Victoria behind. He ran up the pile of junk, nearly falling back down them, the quickest route back to his den. Then, finally, he tumbled into his den. "Demeter!" He stopped at the entrance to see what was before him.

Three little kittens jerked awake, looking to their father with wide eyes. Munkustrap stood still for a moment. Raine buried his face into Chanterelle's fur. Porthos just stared in bewilderment. Chanterelle opted for speech. "Papa?"

Munkustrap sat momentarily, unsure of what to make of this. "I've missed you," he managed to say. He looked around the room. "Where…is your mother?" The kittens failed to answer, but slowly crawled over to him, sniffing him as though they didn't know what he was. "Stay here," he commanded, taking the kittens and putting the back in their little nest of blankets that was carefully parted for them.

He crept outside, as not to urge the kittens to race after him. Walking just past the den, he slowly started up in a run. "Demeter?" he called. He ran to Jennyanydots' den. Bursting in on her, he frightened her to the point of having her fur on end, ready to attack. "Have you seen Demeter?"

"Munkustrap?" she said, in shock. "Well…she should be with her kittens. She's always with them!" Munkustrap didn't wait for the inevitable "where have you been?" question to come up. Instead, he went to the top point of the junkyard, his usual vantage point, where Demeter often loved to go to be alone. "Demeter?" he called.

Tears began to fall down his cheeks as his body was wearing down. He couldn't run anymore. He was too exhausted. But he needed to find her. He didn't know what he would say to her. He didn't know anything, anymore, but for the fact that Demeter was missing.

"Demeter!" he called, his voice going hoarse. "Dem? Where are you?"

His body was wearing down as he climbed off his vantage point and down to level ground. A few cats had come out of their dens to see what the hubbub was all about. He ignored them, their voices, their questions, only looking for that familiar small frame, black and gold fur, with that white bib. He needed to see her; that queen he had fallen in love with. "Demeter! Answer me!"

He raced to the entry way of the junkyard, but his legs collapsed from under him. The tears were streaming down his face, and he couldn't breathe through his sobs. Too tired to go on, to look for her, he looked to the dark night, with only the moon as illumination.

"DEMETER!"

But it seemed he lost another cat to the dark of the night.

-------

Demeter turned to look back. Bombalurina sighed. "What did I tell you?" she asked, under the shadow of the Russell Hotel as they passed it. "It makes it harder if you look back." But her sister was quiet, sitting down and looking where they had been.

Bombalurina didn't want to rush her. She had gotten her far enough away from the junkyard to really worry. She decided to give her sister some time. But the silence was killing her. Demeter hadn't said a word since they left. "I'm sure they'll be fine." Demeter just looked longingly in that direction. "They're normal. Jenny can make sure they'll be fine. And I'm sure Coricopat and Tantomile will tell the others that there is nothing wrong with them."

Demeter took in a shaky breath. "If I'm not in their life…it will be better." Bombalurina went quiet, wanting to hear her sister speak. "He's angry with me…not the kittens. I'm the problem. I know he loves the kittens. He has to. I blinded him to that." She tilted her head to the side, letting it hang. Her butterfly charmed shimmered in the moonlight, yet it also seemed to lose the shine it once had. The life it was given from the tom who gave it to her was gone, and it's magic, whatever it was, had ended as well.

Demeter let out a sigh. "I can't live in a dream forever. Or force him into one. But the kittens are _real_, and always will be." Demeter began to speak in a strained voice. "I had to give them better than living with a mother like me."

She took a few moments to gather herself, looking down, breathing in deep. Bombalurina longed to comfort her, but she couldn't think of anything she could do. Demeter just seemed so lost. Like she was vanishing right before her eyes, even though Bombalurina could touch her if she wanted to. But she wouldn't dare. Demeter looked so fragile.

"I would watch them get older than me…they would die and I would still slowly age."

"You…made a good decision, then," Bombalurina said. But Demeter didn't respond. She was looking intensely in the direction of the junkyard. The red queen let her say her goodbyes.

It was all she had left.

-----

Daylight was breaking, settling over the city. Creatures of the sun were waking, while creatures of the moon were settling to sleep. And the cats, creatures in between day and night, light and dark, life and death, were stirring restlessly. Nothing seemed calm about that morning.

Voices overlapped one another. There were angry yells. There were sobs and wailings. There were instructions that went unheeded, and havoc reigned. And all this chaos was brought on by silence.

Silence from cats that were missing. From four voices that had made themselves known. But no noise could come from something that wasn't there. It amazed them, how silence could take over so completely. Their only saving face, the only calming factor, was three mewling kittens, which brought clarity to the silence.

...and they never could get that music box to play again.


	20. The Moments of Happiness

_A/N: This epilogue went through many lives before it became what it was. (And really, it's probably too long to be considered an epilogue, but who's checking, ya know?) Frankly, I don't know if any of them made me happy, but this one seemed to tie things up well. I would like to thank all the reviewers and readers who stuck with this story until the end, and their outstanding patience. I'm glad you liked my story, the story that began with only one stray thought, and evolved into a 20 chapter drama. I put way too much thought and time into this story, but I don't know...it was worth it in the end ((smile)). Thank you so much for your feedback, which was an enormous aide to me, and giving me a reason to finish this story. Gracias a todos. And Enjoy!  
_

**

* * *

Epilogue – The Moments of Happiness**

She seemed to be swimming in kittens. There were so many of them this year! And each of them, no matter what their colors or shapes or sizes, reminded her of the cats of the past, the ones who had either died off, journeyed to the Heaviside Layer, or moved on to another place and another time. The kittens before her didn't know it, but their coats and their genes held the history of the junkyard with them. Such little kittens with so much importance, and yet they would probably never know. Or ever care.

The queen lifted a white paw, showing them a beaten and broken music box. "This was hers," she said. The kittens stared in wonderment at the old contraption. "Victoria's music box. And the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees had given it to her the night he disappeared. Yes, I know it's broken. That's because Momma Victoria broke it."

A kitten with fur reflecting her calico heritage raised her paw. "Why is it broken, Aunty Chanterelle?"

The young queen looked to the music box, thinking, remembering. Her eyes, her mother's eyes, examined the box. Then her mouth broke into a smile, her father's smile, as the memory came back to her. "She wasn't an angry cat," she explained. "She was just in so much pain. My father did all he could for her, and while she depended on him so much, he just…wasn't Mistoffelees. I remember, she was sitting at the corner of the den, trying to fix the music box, until she finally cried out in frustration and threw it against the wall. That's when the note fell out."

Chanterelle searched her grey tabby fur for something, as though she had a pocket to keep things in, making the kittens giggle. Then she made a big gesture, as though remembering where she had put it, and went to a box behind her, taking out a piece of paper. "It read this, and only this: 'I would give up my whole life just for one more dance with you.' Yet, it meant everything to her to read that."

One of the kittens, a tabby with tiger-striped fur resembling his grandparents, stood up. "What does that mean?"

"Well," Chanterelle said. "I don't really know. But I can only guess. Victoria was supposed to be this incredible dancer in the tribe. But we never saw her dance. Mistoffelees was supposedly the same way. I'm not completely sure, our tribe never wanted to talk about him…or my mom…or…well…" she drifted off that thought and got back on track. "I think he missed her just as much as she missed him. You know…she left the tribe, too. My brother saw her leave. He said that when he was on a walk with her, a tuxedoed cat came out of nowhere, as if by magic. And Victoria begged him to take her away with him. He reached out a paw to her…like this. And the moment she took his paw, they disappeared."

The kittens were quiet. During the silence, Chanterelle noticed a blonde and white cat waving to her. She excused herself from the kittens and raced over to the tom. Something was whispered in her ear. She looked surprised, looking to the tom, but he nodded confirmation. She raced off.

The blonde and white walked up to the tire that Chanterelle was using as her stage. "So…while you're waiting…" said the tom. "Did you know that Old Deuteronomy lived a long time?" The kittens knew the song well enough, and frowned at the tom. "What? He did! He almost outlived our father!"

From the shadows, Chanterelle turned to see that her brother was doing alright in telling the kittens a story. A brown tabby came up beside her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want Porthos to make the kittens cry like he did last time," she said, eying her brother suspiciously.

"He says he was going for realism."

"Bad idea when it comes to Macavity," Chanterelle scoffed.

"I don't know," said a female voice from behind them. Both cats turned. "When we told the tribe about Macavity, it was well received." Chanterelle smiled to the queen, the brown tabby hiding behind his sister, nervous. "Hello, again…Chanterelle, Raine."

"Aunty Bomba," Chanterelle threw open her arms and gave the fragile looking queen a hug. Raine just waved sheepishly from where he stood. Both cats took in the queen.

She was a beautiful cat, once. They knew that only because of the first time they met her, when she was hiding in the shadows, wanting only to talk the kittens, not daring to show her face to the rest of the tribe. But she had let loneliness take that beauty away, and allowed her beaten and bruised soul to show through her corporeal body. Her head hung low with the shame of her decisions and the loss she had endured. Yet she still _looked_ young. Those who didn't know what she was could only wonder why she _seemed_ so old.

"What brings you into the junkyard, Aunty?" asked the grey tabby.

"I've been watching these kittens since they were born," Bombalurina said. "And with everyone else gone…who once knew me…I don't know. It felt okay." The red queen seemed to be shaking. "I want them to understand. So you don't have to go through what we went through when we were young. So you don't have to face the decisions we did…"

On Bombalurina's collar was a butterfly charm that was once her sister's. She fiddled with it every once in a while, a reminder of what was and what might have been. It did its duty, protecting the kittens from a life as Bombalurina and Demeter knew. It made the kittens appear normal until the threat had left them - the threat of their mother and aunt taking them away from their sanctuary. Then the magic died the night the sisters left, leaving only the love of a father and the promise of friends to take care of the kittens to shield them from questions and hate and revulsion. Now, the kittens - or young cats, as they had slowly grown into - were living as they were meant to: They were living as true Jellicles.

"Well," Raine reasoned. "It's best they hear stories from someone who was here living through them. We can only say as much as we understood from what you told us in the past."

"And they say the best way to teach a kitten is through stories," Chanterelle pointed out.

Bombalurina shrugged. "I'm not like Gus. Or like your mother." The thought of her sister still brought tears to her eyes. She had always blamed herself for taking Demeter away from the tribe. Demeter put her heart and soul into trying to make this tribe her home, and Bombalurina took her away from it. Without it, she slowly wasted away, dying of a broken heart. But no one had ever appeared happier to reach the end of her life.

"I can't tell a story too well. So, stories like what I have to share, about an Abyssinian who was there when the Pharaoh commissioned the sphinx, or the tuxedoed tom who was the pied pipers assistant…or even my own story…I don't know if I can get through to them."

"They understand more than you know," Chanterelle point out. "And if you stay here with _us_ this time…" She looked over to her brother for help.

"There's no one here for you to be scared of anymore," Raine added.

Bombalurina smiled. "Funny how things work out," she said, mostly to herself, as she looked out to the kittens, who were giggling at something Porthos said. "Demeter called this place home, yet I'm the one to return to it."

Raine put a paw on Bombalurina's shoulder, before walking out to whisper something in Porthos' ear. Bombalurina didn't bother to hear the blonde and white cat introduce her. She imagined it was much like Jellylorum would introduce Gus as '_the theatre cat_' before he spoke to the kittens. But she couldn't compare herself to him...

She swayed nervously in place. Then Chanterelle tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. Demeter's daughter led the queen out to the tire, helping her take her seat, before turning and joining her brothers in a sentinel's position surrounding the kittens. Though they looked to be protecting them, their faces looked eager to hear the stories they never knew. Stories that were denied to them because the tribe was too heartbroken to speak of them.

Bombalurina took a moment to look around the junkyard, taking in all the changes that had taken place since she lived there. Surely, humans moved around certain items, took some away, put new things in, or vandalized some. But the tire seemed timeless, never moving, never changing, never defamed in any way.

Yet the cats that surrounded it had changed completely.

"Once," she began, "There lived a queen named Grizabella, the glamour cat. And we, as a tribe, shunned her. She was different. She had a way of life we didn't understand, and weren't willing to accept. She wanted us to accept her _so much_. But we, the adults, denied her the love she needed from us in her old age. I don't know why we hated her so much.

"But when she came to us, on that Jellicle Moon, to that Jellicle Ball, and spoke of memories that were fading along with her, a beautiful queen named Victoria, who at the time was just slightly older than any of you, reached out her paw to the glamour cat, and lifted the weight of the world off of Grizabella's shoulder."

Bombalurina couldn't help but grin, as the eyes of each kitten were completely focused on her, listening to every word she spoke. They seemed to perk up when they heard Victoria's name, a queen who was a favorite among the kittens.

"I talk about Grizabella, because I always wondered what it was that was _so alluring_ to her when she looked up to the Heaviside. Because she didn't look back. And all I could think was, 'what was so great about the Heaviside Layer?'

"But you'll recall your great leader, Munkustrap, and all the stories you've heard of him. Well…I didn't like him much." The kittens laughed. "It's true, it's true. Because he was madly in love with my sister, and I couldn't have it. She was too precious for me to let go. But Demeter, my sister, knew that if something was _that_ precious to you, you had to let them go…so they could be happy."

She looked over to the three former kittens of her sister. "She let her kittens go so they could grow up being happy - not like us. And…because she loved Munkustrap - not like me." The three young cats laughed, as the kittens didn't get the joke. "Now, what was I saying? Oh…right…

"The Heaviside Layer…the Everlasting Cat…my sister and I thought these things were elusive to us, as Jellicle cats. So I was _angry_ that Munkustrap was transfixed on his paradise when we couldn't have it." Bombalurina had to stop, feeling the past emotions building up in her. Then she sighed shakily, and looked back to the kittens. "But I swear to you, no cat is exempt from Heaven. Not even the ones who have done the deeds we have.

"For you see…I was hiding in the shadows, watching Munkustrap leave us. It was his turn, during one Jellicle Ball, that the new leader of the tribe took Munkustrap's paw and led him to the stairs that led to heaven. And I saw…that it wasn't the glory of what awaited him that he was so transfixed on. It was the open arms of the queen that was waiting to embrace him when he finally climbed those stairs that he couldn't take his eyes off of."

The kittens slowly took in what they had heard, some too young to really understand. But the descendants of Demeter understood. Chanterelle spoke first. "Mom only wanted happiness on earth because she never thought she would make it to the Heaviside."

"And dad," Porthos continued, "Only worried about happiness with the ones he loved because he had no reason to fear not getting into the Heaviside."

"But neither got what they wanted," Raine said softly. "Not on earth, at least."

"But only in the Heaviside," Bombalurina finished. "Where there is no more pain, no more crying, no more _lies_ …that's where they could finally be happy."

**-The End**


End file.
